"On Hiatus"

[TJL]

I'm not really calling it a breakup...

In case you haven't noticed I've been on the boards a lot, paticularly on the weekends, which means I haven't been spending time with my girlfriend lately. Nearly two months, as a matter of fact...

To be quite honest, I really don't know what's going on between us.

What she neglected to tell me was that she is manic depressive, and she had a really bad "crash," is a word for it I guess, right before Christmas. So for some reason she has severed all contact with me.

I'm really trying not to blame her for this. I've done some reading on this disease, and I know there's really nothing I can do but wait until she starts to feel better, but dammit I'm frustrated.

So we're not broken up, things are just on hold for a while.

You really wanna know something?
If I don't hear from her again, I won't be the least bit surprised.

[Chocoholic]

That stinks TJL. You're such a wonderful guy and I hope she gets better and comes back to you. Good luck, buddy, and take care

[dawsongirl]

Sucks when love goes bad. Not that I would know, but I've observed. It's just worse when it happens to the few nice guys that are actually out there.

[Titania]

TJL,
Im so sorry, you're right manic-depression can be really frustrating. I have several relatives with the condition and have personal experience w/ cyclothyroid or the mildest form of the imbalance.
Dont give up on her, depending on the circumstance there is a very good chance she'll come back. Bad spells can last a few weeks to several months but theres almost always a good phase to follow.
Just try to be patient because if she does come back- the cycle repeats and its as hard on her as it is on you. She may not say it but I know she'd thank you if you get through this with her (not with her in this case, but you know what i mean i hope...)
I dont want to sound really nosy but do you know if her doctors been able to regulate her illness or whats going on with that?

I hope it all works out. hang in there.

[DarleneIllyria]

Originally posted by dawsongirl
Sucks when love goes bad. Not that I would know, but I've observed. It's just worse when it happens to the few nice guys that are actually out there.

That's the same with me.

I'm really sorry about the hiatus thing. If you two were really meant to be together, something will happen. If the hiatus ends with a break up, try not to fret about it. You're a great guy and it isn't your fault or your friend's fault if the relationship ends. It just wasn't meant to be, if the breakup occurs.

[¤I Love Clay Aiken¤]

That sucks T, it really does. Its obvious that you really care about her too. Give her a little bit more time... or maybe you could get in contact with one of her friends or family members to see whats up?

[sara]

I'm sorry . I hope it all works out.

[TJL]

Thanks for the kind thoughts my friends.

I'm trying not to let this whole situation get to me, but when you're stuck in your apartment during a snowstorm with nothing to watch on TV, you start turning things over in your head, until you're both bored and pissed off.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Ah well, I'll just take things as they come.

Smiles everyone! Smiles!

[Janice]

I'm sorry for your troubles TJL. Manic depression aka bi-polar disease is a very real and sad mental illness. A family member has it, actually two, but one has died, and it really tears up relationships, as you're seeing now. I know other families with loved ones afflicted as well.
I'm probably going to have a mob after me for this, but I say run for your life if you're not in love with her. In the cases I've seen, it spells a lifetime of heartache for the person affilicted and certainly for their loved ones.
I speak from experience, and I don't want anyone to think I'm being sarcastic here.
You're young. You sound like a great guy. Unless you want to be twisted, torn and live a life of uncertainty, find someone else.
You can still be her friend and help her through this crisis.
I have a story about manic-depression that has affected my husband's family. It's too personal and heartbreaking to post here, but if you want TJL, I can PM you.

[TJL]

Believe me Janice, you are not the only one who has told me to seek an exit from this situation. Right now I'm just going to wait things out and see what happens.

Thanks for the advice.

[Mossopp]

I'm really sorry TJL.
From the way you speak about her it sounds like you really love this woman and it's so tough when someone you love is having troubles and it seems like there's nothing you can do to help them.
I have suffered from depression myself and I used to be best friends with a girl who suffered from the disease. It was really difficult. I'd see her going through so much crap and there was nothing I could do. I'd keep telling her that I loved her and that I was always there for her but it didn't seem to help and it drove me crazy. Sometimes I'd get mad at her for being so unresponsive but I came to realise that it wasn't her fault.
I know your girlfriend loves you TJL cos from just reading your posts on Chit Chat I can tell you're a decent guy. Just tell her how you feel. It may not seem like it's getting through to her but on some level she will be taking it in. I have suffered from the same affliction and my friends at the time were very supportive. I wasn't able to tell them how much I appreciated them just being there for me but it really did mean a lot to me.
Just be there for her - that's all you can do.
Best of luck to you, mate.
Mossopp
x x x

[Georgia's on my Mind]

I would stay stick with her, it's probarly worse for her...Just make sure she has proper medication , and it has to get better...

[RollerGirl]

I really hope, for both of you, that things look up real soon

[Brian Damage]

I say why wait around for someone that might not come around? You're young, live it up. I know you may care for this girl, but manic depression is no joke.

[*PinkLady*]

Your love life may be on hiatus, but try to hang in there as her friend - like moral support, y'know? That's probably what she needs now. Best wishes.