Post Blonde Jokes here if you know some :) - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Unwanted Angel · 02-16-2003, 08:24 PM

I just love blonde jokes so if you know some post them...Here is one of mine.

One day this blonde walked into a store and said
"I`d like to buy that TV."
The salesman said "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
The blonde went home and dyed her hair red. She went back to
the store and said "I`d like to buy that TV."
"Sorry we don't sell to blondes." The man replied again.
She went and dyed her hair black, then returned to the store
and said "I`d like to buy that TV."
Again the man said "Sorry we don't sell to blondes."
The blonde finally asks "How did you know I was a blonde?"
The man said "Because that`s not a TV its a microwave."

Mossopp · 02-16-2003, 08:30 PM

What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It's harder to get an ironing board's legs open.

A blonde went into a store and bought a jigsaw puzzle. It took her 2 years to complete it but she was really proud of herself cos it said "5 to 6 years" on the box.

White_Daisy · 02-16-2003, 08:33 PM

See subject of this post...

Why did the Blonde's navel hurt?
*****
****
***
**
*
**
***
****
*****
Because her boyfriend is blonde too

Unwanted Angel · 02-16-2003, 08:35 PM

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 02-16-2003, 08:38 PM

How do you know when a blonde's been in your refrigerator?

There's lipstick on the pickles.

Kay Scarpetta · 02-16-2003, 08:38 PM

I like this one-

A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "Brandi, You have to meet me halfway on this... You have to buy a ticket."

Unwanted Angel · 02-16-2003, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Miss Karly
I like this one-

A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "Brandi, You have to meet me halfway on this... You have to buy a ticket."

Thats cute...

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand granade at you?
you pull the pin and throw it back then run like hell.

Brandon · 02-16-2003, 08:45 PM

What does a blonde put behind her neck, to make her more attractive?

Her legs

Brandon · 02-16-2003, 08:46 PM

What's a blonde with pigtails?

A blowjob with handle bars.

Krisalicious · 02-16-2003, 08:47 PM

I have two.

One time a blonde, brunette, and redhead were standing in an elevator when they noticed a man inside the elevator with them who had white flakes all over himself.
"Damn that guy has dandruff!" said the redhead.
"Maybe we should give him some Head and Shoulders" said the brunette.
"Okay!!! Let's do that," said the blonde, "but what is shoulders?"

Second one:

One time a blonde, brunette, and redhead were walking in the forest when suddenly a giant mirror appeared in front of them. A voice said "Tell something to the mirror that you believe is true, and the mirror will give you something valuable if it is. If it is not true, you will be zapped into the mirror."
So, the redhead said, "I think...I'm the prettiest person in the world."

That was not true, so she got zapped into the mirror.

The brunette said "I think... I'm the smartest person in the world."

That was not true, so she got zapped into the mirror.

Then came the blonde. The blonde said "I think..." and then got zapped into the mirror.

Unwanted Angel · 02-16-2003, 08:48 PM

Q.How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday?
A. Tell it to her on Tuesday.

Mossopp · 02-16-2003, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shane West's Angel
I have two...

Both of them were absolutely hilarious!

Penny Lane · 02-16-2003, 08:52 PM

I am a bottle blonde and I love blonde jokes!

Why did the M &M factory fire the blonde?

She kept throwing away the "W's"

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 02-16-2003, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Brandon
What does a blonde put behind her neck, to make her more attractive?

Her legs

I can do that.

Babes_Cat · 02-16-2003, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Lu Delgado

I can do that.

Oh baby.

02-16-2003, 08:24 PM	#1
Unwanted Angel Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 17, 2002 Posts: 12,658	Post Blonde Jokes here if you know some :) I just love blonde jokes so if you know some post them...Here is one of mine. One day this blonde walked into a store and said "I`d like to buy that TV." The salesman said "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." The blonde went home and dyed her hair red. She went back to the store and said "I`d like to buy that TV." "Sorry we don't sell to blondes." The man replied again. She went and dyed her hair black, then returned to the store and said "I`d like to buy that TV." Again the man said "Sorry we don't sell to blondes." The blonde finally asks "How did you know I was a blonde?" The man said "Because that`s not a TV its a microwave."

02-16-2003, 08:30 PM	#2
Mossopp asleep at the wheel Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 30, 2000 Location: Helensburgh, Scotland Posts: 3,726	What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? It's harder to get an ironing board's legs open. A blonde went into a store and bought a jigsaw puzzle. It took her 2 years to complete it but she was really proud of herself cos it said "5 to 6 years" on the box.
	__________________ "Heavy metal has been my life since I was 10 years old. It's the only thing I know, it's the only thing I care about." Dimebag Darrell, 1966 - 2004

02-16-2003, 08:33 PM	#3
White_Daisy blank Senior Member Join Date: Oct 22, 2002 Posts: 2,374	I never ever understand Blonde Jokes See subject of this post... Why did the Blonde's navel hurt? *** * ** * * ** *** Because her boyfriend is blonde too
	__________________ <marquee>I love you, Potsie Webber</marquee> <center> "H14...My favorite letter, my favorite number"</center> <center>http://www.obeygiant.com/stickers/bo...happy-days.gif</center> <center>They Call it Potsie Love</center> <center>http://www.tvlinksonline.com/boards/...&postid=549343</center> <center>Warren "Potsie" Webber</center> <center> To me, Fonzie is what everyone wants to be, Richie is kind of what everyone wants her son to be. And Potsie, I think, is what everyone is - Anson Williams </center>

02-16-2003, 08:38 PM	#6
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I like this one- A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto." Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order. Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "Brandi, You have to meet me halfway on this... You have to buy a ticket."
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

02-16-2003, 08:45 PM	#8
Brandon Member Senior Member Join Date: Jan 03, 2003 Location: Hell Above The Soil Posts: 2,838	What does a blonde put behind her neck, to make her more attractive? Her legs
	__________________ <center> <img src=http://www.tvlinksonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=875292> Break back another heart attack!

02-16-2003, 08:35 PM	#4
Unwanted Angel Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 17, 2002 Posts: 12,658	A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

02-16-2003, 08:38 PM	#5
AllIWantIsYourClutch peaceout. Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 02, 2001 Location: Illinois. Posts: 53,424	How do you know when a blonde's been in your refrigerator? There's lipstick on the pickles.

02-16-2003, 08:46 PM	#9
Brandon Member Senior Member Join Date: Jan 03, 2003 Location: Hell Above The Soil Posts: 2,838	What's a blonde with pigtails? A blowjob with handle bars.

02-16-2003, 08:47 PM	#10
Krisalicious Archie FTW! Forum Veteran Join Date: Jun 27, 2001 Location: NJ Posts: 5,775	I have two. One time a blonde, brunette, and redhead were standing in an elevator when they noticed a man inside the elevator with them who had white flakes all over himself. "Damn that guy has dandruff!" said the redhead. "Maybe we should give him some Head and Shoulders" said the brunette. "Okay!!! Let's do that," said the blonde, "but what is shoulders?" Second one: One time a blonde, brunette, and redhead were walking in the forest when suddenly a giant mirror appeared in front of them. A voice said "Tell something to the mirror that you believe is true, and the mirror will give you something valuable if it is. If it is not true, you will be zapped into the mirror." So, the redhead said, "I think...I'm the prettiest person in the world." That was not true, so she got zapped into the mirror. The brunette said "I think... I'm the smartest person in the world." That was not true, so she got zapped into the mirror. Then came the blonde. The blonde said "I think..." and then got zapped into the mirror.

02-16-2003, 08:48 PM	#11
Unwanted Angel Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 17, 2002 Posts: 12,658	Q.How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday? A. Tell it to her on Tuesday.

02-16-2003, 08:52 PM	#13
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,308	I am a bottle blonde and I love blonde jokes! Why did the M &M factory fire the blonde? She kept throwing away the "W's"
	__________________ Vulgarity is no substitute for wit- Lady Violet Crawley