Biological Children vs Stepchildren? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Janice · 01-06-2003, 03:51 AM

The Brady Bunch has to the best success story of a blended family in history.
I'm sure a few of you are stepchildren or stepparents. I'm a stepmother to adults whom I adore, but I'll admit there were a few rough times in the beginning. There usually are, at least with everyone I know involved in a stepfamily.
The transition on TBB appears seamless. The kids don't mention their deceased parents with the exception of a photo of the boys' mother in the first episode.
The episode where Jan finds the photo of her aunt that she resembles is an example. She talks to Mike in his office and he explains genetics and heredity. Not once does she say, "So I get my genes from my mother and father?"
Perhaps we're supposed to assume these issues happened off camera. Perhaps I'm diving too deep into a light-hearted sitcom. If that's the case, so be it.
Here's what I'm driving at. If this were a real stepfamily, would it be possible for Mike and Carol to love one another's kids as much as they love their own biological children?
I talking about the parent/child bond that's so strong that you'll give up your life for.
If one kid from each parent both needed a life-saving kidney, what would Mike do if he was the only one who was a donor match, or the same question for Carol? Who would get the kidney?
Any thoughts?

DarleneIllyria · 01-06-2003, 03:13 PM

Well, I'm not a stepkid or anything, but I've got quite a few friends that do have a stepparent. It's really rare in real life to get a stepparent that you just start loving automatically. I would think the family would have a few spats here and there.

Later on, I bet the family would get along perfectly together. I bet the step parent would even be willing to risk their own life in order to save the life of the step child.

Who knows, maybe if you have a case where the mother or father is childless before and they get married to a person that has a child, it could be possible that the childless step parent will start thinking of the step child as their very own. The child might have a different parent instead of me, but I love this child as my very own.

Just my 2 cents

TV Guy · 01-08-2003, 12:20 AM

I think it's different in each case. I know someone whose mother was widowed when he and his brothers were very young children. She remarried a couple of years later, and her new husband adopted her children. He's the only father they've every known. On the other hand, I've known people who got stepparents when they were teenagers, and they did not view the new stepparent as a mother or father. It really depends on the situation.

In the case of "The Brady Bunch", it's obvious that Mike adopted the girls (since their last names were changed to Brady), and I'm guessing that Carol adopted the boys. Of course, it was very unrealistic how quickly the kids accepted their new parents.

Notice in the pilot that the kids call their new stepparents by their first names (Mike and Carol). I have a "Brady Bunch" book that was released around 1970 (it's about 150 pages, aimed at a young adult crowd). It takes place long after the wedding, yet the kids are still calling their stepparents by their first names. Strange.

jon123 · 01-08-2003, 12:30 AM

Of course remember the on purpose mystery-was Carol really a widow or was she divorced? It would of course make more sense for the girls to take the name Brady if she was a widow-but still that would show disrepect for their natural father and his memory (if he were indeed dead). Maybe Carol was divorced and the girls took the name Brady because their natural father was an a (fill in the blank) hole.

richheart · 01-08-2003, 01:59 AM

This type of love (towards step children) is possible in a godly family. These type of things seemed to be more commonplace back then.

Elizabeth B. · 01-08-2003, 08:08 AM

Richheart, I agree! It is possible to have that kind relationship right off the bat.

Especially if you are "starved" in a particular area. For example, the girls and boys both had this big empty hole in their lives, the result of losing a mother/father. So naturally, they would immediately take to someone who filled that role in their lives.

Remember, they did not mesh seamlessly at first. THere was the fighting in the "house of cards" episode, and also in the "clubhouse" episode. Remember the tension between Marcia and Mr. B when she snuck out of the house to mail her letter to the editor?

They still had some tense parent/child moments in later years ("using exact words", "firing Marcia as Juliet" "X-rated behavior at the pizza place") but what family doesn't? At least they never had any blow-ups over anything major, like drugs or promiscuity!

Janice · 01-08-2003, 08:28 PM

I'm wondering if it's possible for someone to love their spouse's children as much, as fully, and as completely as their own biological children?
I tend to think not, but I guess every case is different.

Kitt · 01-09-2003, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Janice
I'm wondering if it's possible for someone to love their spouse's children as much, as fully, and as completely as their own biological children?
I tend to think not, but I guess every case is different.

Nope, it isn't (Physically) possible to love step kids in the same way or with the same intensity that one loves their biological kids. Studies of nature overwhelmingly quantify that. There are exceptions. The Brady Bunch is the sitcom exception to the rule.
And when the real life Brady kids hit the high plane of puberty the sky was the limit. And so, that's another subject about three boys and three girls living in the same house that "The Brady Bunch" didn't touch on.

Elizabeth B. · 01-10-2003, 01:50 AM

Kittflyn, I have to (respectfully

) disagree!

My stepfather and I have such a love for one another, I at times forget he is not really blood-related to me! He was a better father to me than my own, so in my heart, HE is my true father (HE even gave me away at my wedding, instead of my "real" dad).

Even after he and my mom divorced 8 years ago, I still talk to him and visit, and my children still call him grandpa, even though there really is no actual "blood relation" going on. It's really kind of sweet how close we feel to one another!

I NEVER felt that way about my own "real" dad, and my step-father told me he sometimes feels closer to me than to his "real" daughter.

I guess it depends upon the circumstances. Mostly, I would say, No." but again, it all depends.

By the way Kittflyn, who is that pretty lady in your avatar picture? Is it a movie star? Just curious!

Kitt · 01-10-2003, 04:20 AM

Congratulations on your fine realtionship with your step father.

The pretty lady in my avatar is Dana Plato!

Elizabeth B. · 01-10-2003, 01:04 PM

No Way! Like from "Dif'rent Strokes?" Wow does she look different!!!!!

Janice · 01-11-2003, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Elizabeth B.
My stepfather and I have such a love for one another, I at times forget he is not really blood-related to me! He was a better father to me than my own, so in my heart, HE is my true father (HE even gave me away at my wedding, instead of my "real" dad).

Elizabeth, that is indeed wonderful that you found a true father in your heart in this man. You're both lucky.

GeeBee · 07-01-2003, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Janice
I'm wondering if it's possible for someone to love their spouse's children as much, as fully, and as completely as their own biological children?
I tend to think not, but I guess every case is different.

It is easily possible if the parents in question are emotionally healthy. Flesh and blood are just chemical compositions; the love for an individual is what counts. The trouble is many people are not emotionally healthy and see children as mere extensions of themselves to further their own egos.

01-06-2003, 03:51 AM	#1
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Biological Children vs Stepchildren? The Brady Bunch has to the best success story of a blended family in history. I'm sure a few of you are stepchildren or stepparents. I'm a stepmother to adults whom I adore, but I'll admit there were a few rough times in the beginning. There usually are, at least with everyone I know involved in a stepfamily. The transition on TBB appears seamless. The kids don't mention their deceased parents with the exception of a photo of the boys' mother in the first episode. The episode where Jan finds the photo of her aunt that she resembles is an example. She talks to Mike in his office and he explains genetics and heredity. Not once does she say, "So I get my genes from my mother and father?" Perhaps we're supposed to assume these issues happened off camera. Perhaps I'm diving too deep into a light-hearted sitcom. If that's the case, so be it. Here's what I'm driving at. If this were a real stepfamily, would it be possible for Mike and Carol to love one another's kids as much as they love their own biological children? I talking about the parent/child bond that's so strong that you'll give up your life for. If one kid from each parent both needed a life-saving kidney, what would Mike do if he was the only one who was a donor match, or the same question for Carol? Who would get the kidney? Any thoughts?

01-08-2003, 08:08 AM	#6
Elizabeth B. #1 JAN FAN!!!! Frequent Poster Join Date: Apr 03, 2002 Location: Charleston, SC Posts: 165	Richheart, I agree! It is possible to have that kind relationship right off the bat. Especially if you are "starved" in a particular area. For example, the girls and boys both had this big empty hole in their lives, the result of losing a mother/father. So naturally, they would immediately take to someone who filled that role in their lives. Remember, they did not mesh seamlessly at first. THere was the fighting in the "house of cards" episode, and also in the "clubhouse" episode. Remember the tension between Marcia and Mr. B when she snuck out of the house to mail her letter to the editor? They still had some tense parent/child moments in later years ("using exact words", "firing Marcia as Juliet" "X-rated behavior at the pizza place") but what family doesn't? At least they never had any blow-ups over anything major, like drugs or promiscuity!
	__________________ Elizabeth B.

01-06-2003, 03:13 PM	#2
DarleneIllyria Gone Forum Star Join Date: Oct 15, 2000 Posts: 19,086	Well, I'm not a stepkid or anything, but I've got quite a few friends that do have a stepparent. It's really rare in real life to get a stepparent that you just start loving automatically. I would think the family would have a few spats here and there. Later on, I bet the family would get along perfectly together. I bet the step parent would even be willing to risk their own life in order to save the life of the step child. Who knows, maybe if you have a case where the mother or father is childless before and they get married to a person that has a child, it could be possible that the childless step parent will start thinking of the step child as their very own. The child might have a different parent instead of me, but I love this child as my very own. Just my 2 cents

01-08-2003, 12:20 AM	#3
TV Guy Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 25, 2001 Location: Boston, MA, USA Posts: 3,419	I think it's different in each case. I know someone whose mother was widowed when he and his brothers were very young children. She remarried a couple of years later, and her new husband adopted her children. He's the only father they've every known. On the other hand, I've known people who got stepparents when they were teenagers, and they did not view the new stepparent as a mother or father. It really depends on the situation. In the case of "The Brady Bunch", it's obvious that Mike adopted the girls (since their last names were changed to Brady), and I'm guessing that Carol adopted the boys. Of course, it was very unrealistic how quickly the kids accepted their new parents. Notice in the pilot that the kids call their new stepparents by their first names (Mike and Carol). I have a "Brady Bunch" book that was released around 1970 (it's about 150 pages, aimed at a young adult crowd). It takes place long after the wedding, yet the kids are still calling their stepparents by their first names. Strange.

01-08-2003, 12:30 AM	#4
jon123 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Feb 04, 2002 Location: Temecula Valley, CA Posts: 395	Of course remember the on purpose mystery-was Carol really a widow or was she divorced? It would of course make more sense for the girls to take the name Brady if she was a widow-but still that would show disrepect for their natural father and his memory (if he were indeed dead). Maybe Carol was divorced and the girls took the name Brady because their natural father was an a (fill in the blank) hole.

01-08-2003, 01:59 AM	#5
richheart Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Sep 25, 2002 Posts: 205	This type of love (towards step children) is possible in a godly family. These type of things seemed to be more commonplace back then.

01-08-2003, 08:28 PM	#7
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I'm wondering if it's possible for someone to love their spouse's children as much, as fully, and as completely as their own biological children? I tend to think not, but I guess every case is different.

01-10-2003, 01:50 AM	#9
Elizabeth B. #1 JAN FAN!!!! Frequent Poster Join Date: Apr 03, 2002 Location: Charleston, SC Posts: 165	Kittflyn, I have to (respectfully ) disagree! My stepfather and I have such a love for one another, I at times forget he is not really blood-related to me! He was a better father to me than my own, so in my heart, HE is my true father (HE even gave me away at my wedding, instead of my "real" dad). Even after he and my mom divorced 8 years ago, I still talk to him and visit, and my children still call him grandpa, even though there really is no actual "blood relation" going on. It's really kind of sweet how close we feel to one another! I NEVER felt that way about my own "real" dad, and my step-father told me he sometimes feels closer to me than to his "real" daughter. I guess it depends upon the circumstances. Mostly, I would say, No." but again, it all depends. By the way Kittflyn, who is that pretty lady in your avatar picture? Is it a movie star? Just curious!

01-10-2003, 04:20 AM	#10
Kitt James Dean Forum Veteran Join Date: Aug 16, 2001 Location: California Dreamin' Posts: 6,115	Congratulations on your fine realtionship with your step father. The pretty lady in my avatar is Dana Plato!

01-10-2003, 01:04 PM	#11
Elizabeth B. #1 JAN FAN!!!! Frequent Poster Join Date: Apr 03, 2002 Location: Charleston, SC Posts: 165	No Way! Like from "Dif'rent Strokes?" Wow does she look different!!!!!