What are some of your favorite insults?

[highloon]

Obviously, there have been lots of creative insults and digs made throughout the run of Coach. What are some of your favorites?Maybe it's some of the Hayden/Judy exchanges, or some of the bald jokes about Howard, or some of Christine's witty comebacks to Hayden's chauvenism.

What are your thoughts?

[Janice]

A hilarious one is when Mel Cooley threatens to quit the Alan Brady Show, and Buddy Sorrell said to him, "You can't quit. I've got a trunkload of bald jokes I haven't used yet."
Oops, wrong show, but that was funny.
I wish I could give some insults from Coach, but as I stated before, they leave my head the moment I hear them. I think it's because it's my first viewing of the show.
Now, The DVD Show, Seinfeld and Cheers, on the other hand--I could recite most of those show's line for line.
Hopefully, Coach will stay in syndication long enough for me to really familiarize myself with the dialog.

[highloon]

Hey Janice, I can appreciate that you haven't had time to obsess over Coach as I have(I'm so pathetic). So what the heck, I'll share a few sarcastic high points for your amusement:

Judy: Sorry I'm late. I had to dry my hair.
Hayden: Gee, you'd think at that altitude, the wind would do it.


Dauber: Coach, can Judy and I borrow your ladder?
Hayden: Well, between the two of you, what is there you can't reach? Wait a minute, let me guess. You bought a hat and you want to put it on Judy's head! No, no, no. I got it. She's concerned about the ozone layer, and she wants to see it for her self!


Hayden: Christine, have you ever been obsessed with something to the point of insanity? Something where no matter how sane you were, everytime you thought about this thing, it just drove you crazy? And no matter how many people told you to stay away from it, you just couldn't help it?

Christine: Yes.
Hayden: You have? What?
Christine: You.


Judy: Happy Thanksgiving! I brought stringbeans.
Hayden: How appropriate.


Elaine Tewksberry: Hayden, you passed yourself off as the athletic director. You know I could fire you for that?

Hayden: Well Howard passes himself off as the athletic director. Why don't you fire him?


Hayden: I already lost Christine. I don't want to lose Luther, too. Then you'll be the only one I have left.

Kelly: And Stewart.

Hayden: Exactly. So you can see why Luther's so important, huh?


If you'd like to read more, just let me know. It's always
fun to share them.

[Janice]

These are great. As I read them, they come back to me, but I can't remember them like you can. One of these days....

[highloon]

I'm bored, so I'll share a few more uncharitable moments worthy of mention:

Hayden: I think it's only fair to admit that you get paid alot of money for a job where the only skill required is just the ability to read.

Christine: You're right, Hayden. And you get paid alot for a job that doesn't even require that.



Luther: Hayden, this morning I made out a will. And I'd appreciate it if you'd be my executioner.

Hayden: I'd love to, Luther, I mean that.



Beth: At the risk of sounding like an old movie, he swept me off my feet!
Hayden: "Psycho" was an old movie, too.



Kelly: We could come with you.
Hayden: "We" who?
Kelly: "We", me and Stewart.
Christine: Well, there's an idea!
Hayden: Yeah, there's an idea. So was the Edsel.



Kelly: I'm just getting over the divorce, and I'm afraid that seeing the Rosebrocks might set me back.

Hayden: Then go to the circus. That way you get the feeling of being with the Rosebrocks without the risk of emotional trauma.



Dauber: I get so nervous when I'm around Judy's parents. I don't know what it is, Coach.

Hayden: I know what it is, they produced Judy. God knows what other horrors they're capable of.



More to come, pending more boredom...

[catlover79]

The Hayden/Judy insults are pure comedic gold. Her first episode, where Hayden and Luther refer to her as Paula Bunyon, is just too hilarious.