Help Paul Simon- 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

opus · 07-23-2026, 09:41 PM

He only got around to 5

Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

We need 45 more

Just get on the plane, Jane

Dream Canteen · 07-23-2026, 10:25 PM

“You don’t need to be coy, Roy,” is not, in fact, a way to leave your lover. So there are only four ways to leave your lover in the entire song.

Fake your own death, Beth.
Beat up her dad, Chad.
Get caught with her sister, Mister.
Become a devout Mormon, Norman.
Eat a lot of garlic, Tarlek.

opus · 07-23-2026, 10:40 PM

Meet someone sweeter, Peter

Just go, it’s no dilemma Emma

opus · 07-23-2026, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dream Canteen

“You don’t need to be coy, Roy,” is not, in fact, a way to leave your lover. So there are only four ways to leave your lover in the entire song.

Don’t be coy would mean just go ahead and do it. I’m standing by 5.

Bonniegirl · 07-23-2026, 11:20 PM

Get on the train, Jane

Relocate, Nate

Find a new hobby, Bobby

Zoneboy · 07-23-2026, 11:30 PM

Get in the truck, Chuck.
Take the sleigh, Ray.

Bonniegirl · 07-23-2026, 11:37 PM

Go on a cruise " Dues "!

Dream Canteen · 07-23-2026, 11:53 PM

Raise a big fuss, Opus.
Wet your best pants, Lance.
Stop washing your crotch, Josh.
Make yourself hairy, Mary.
Get a bit Stabby, Abby.
Leave open your browser, Doogie Howser.
Start wearing Crocs, Barack.

Zoneboy · 07-23-2026, 11:55 PM

Get in the tank, Frank.
Take the next jet, Brett.

icecream · 07-24-2026, 12:05 AM

Just slip them some arsenic, Rick. (Inspired by Chicago's Cell Block Tango: Some guys just can't hold their arsenic.)

Bonniegirl · 07-24-2026, 12:11 AM

Pretend to be sick, Rick

Say you are ill, Bill

opus · 07-24-2026, 12:13 AM

Take the starting over money from your salary, Valerie

Grab a boat out of the harbor(a), Barbara

Bonniegirl · 07-24-2026, 12:21 AM

Take off on your bike Mike.

Get away from them Lem

Zoneboy · 07-24-2026, 12:26 AM

Find a new man, Ann.
Go sail a glider, Schneider.

Bonniegirl · 07-24-2026, 02:20 AM

Just let it be Julie

Take it one day at a time Clementine

07-23-2026, 09:41 PM	#1
opus VB Forum Superstar Join Date: May 16, 2015 Location: VB Galaxy Posts: 32,748	Help Paul Simon- 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover He only got around to 5 Slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan You don’t need to be coy, Roy Just get yourself free Hop on the bus, Gus You don’t need to discuss much Just drop off the key, Lee And get yourself free We need 45 more Just get on the plane, Jane

07-23-2026, 10:25 PM	#2
Dream Canteen Member Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 11, 2023 Location: California Posts: 676	“You don’t need to be coy, Roy,” is not, in fact, a way to leave your lover. So there are only four ways to leave your lover in the entire song. Fake your own death, Beth. Beat up her dad, Chad. Get caught with her sister, Mister. Become a devout Mormon, Norman. Eat a lot of garlic, Tarlek.
	__________________ In stereo (where available).

07-24-2026, 12:05 AM	#10
icecream Cat-tastic and Whiskerlicious Forum Celebrity Join Date: Sep 01, 2006 Location: The Catacombs Posts: 20,896	Just slip them some arsenic, Rick. (Inspired by Chicago's Cell Block Tango: Some guys just can't hold their arsenic.)
	__________________ Top 200 TV Shows https://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards...14#post6225214 Top 150 Movies https://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards...84#post6175384 Top 1100 Scripted TV Characters https://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards...d.php?t=493306 Top Rookie TV Shows by Calendar Year https://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards...d.php?t=365017 Top Movies by Calendar Year https://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards...d.php?t=473533

07-23-2026, 10:40 PM	#3
opus VB Forum Superstar Join Date: May 16, 2015 Location: VB Galaxy Posts: 32,748	Meet someone sweeter, Peter Just go, it’s no dilemma Emma

07-23-2026, 11:20 PM	#5
Bonniegirl AKA Hazel Horvath Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 10, 2014 Posts: 66,060	Get on the train, Jane Relocate, Nate Find a new hobby, Bobby

07-23-2026, 11:30 PM	#6
Zoneboy RIP, I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU :( Moderator Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 13, 2003 Location: AT HOME WISHING ALL THIS WAS JUST A DREAM AND THAT I'LL WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE. Posts: 34,471	Get in the truck, Chuck. Take the sleigh, Ray.

07-23-2026, 11:37 PM	#7
Bonniegirl AKA Hazel Horvath Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 10, 2014 Posts: 66,060	Go on a cruise " Dues "!

07-23-2026, 11:53 PM	#8
Dream Canteen Member Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 11, 2023 Location: California Posts: 676	Raise a big fuss, Opus. Wet your best pants, Lance. Stop washing your crotch, Josh. Make yourself hairy, Mary. Get a bit Stabby, Abby. Leave open your browser, Doogie Howser. Start wearing Crocs, Barack.

07-23-2026, 11:55 PM	#9
Zoneboy RIP, I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU :( Moderator Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 13, 2003 Location: AT HOME WISHING ALL THIS WAS JUST A DREAM AND THAT I'LL WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE. Posts: 34,471	Get in the tank, Frank. Take the next jet, Brett.

07-24-2026, 12:11 AM	#11
Bonniegirl AKA Hazel Horvath Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 10, 2014 Posts: 66,060	Pretend to be sick, Rick Say you are ill, Bill

07-24-2026, 12:13 AM	#12
opus VB Forum Superstar Join Date: May 16, 2015 Location: VB Galaxy Posts: 32,748	Take the starting over money from your salary, Valerie Grab a boat out of the harbor(a), Barbara

07-24-2026, 12:21 AM	#13
Bonniegirl AKA Hazel Horvath Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 10, 2014 Posts: 66,060	Take off on your bike Mike. Get away from them Lem

07-24-2026, 12:26 AM	#14
Zoneboy RIP, I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU :( Moderator Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 13, 2003 Location: AT HOME WISHING ALL THIS WAS JUST A DREAM AND THAT I'LL WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE. Posts: 34,471	Find a new man, Ann. Go sail a glider, Schneider.

07-24-2026, 02:20 AM	#15
Bonniegirl AKA Hazel Horvath Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 10, 2014 Posts: 66,060	Just let it be Julie Take it one day at a time Clementine