A Honeymooners July 4th:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners July 4th:

(The Kramdens are arguing.)

Alice: “Ralph, it is ridiculous that your Raccoons are having a beer drinking contest this July 4th and you are entering it.”

Ralph: “Alice, I am telling you. I am going to enter that contest and win. I am going to win that prize of $250 bucks. I am doing it to honor this country’s 250th birthday. I know how to handle my liquor.”

Alice: “Oh you do? How about the time when you came home from a Raccoon meeting butt naked? I don’t think anyone here wanted to see a beached whale.”

Ralph (yells): “OH, YOU ARE A RIOT ALICE! A REGULAR RIOT! I AM ENTERING THE CONTEST AND I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG.”

(On July 4th, it’s time for the Raccoon Beer Drinking contest as the Raccoons are getting ready. It’s outside and the fireworks are starting up. They start drinking and eventually Ralph gets sick.)

(The following morning, the Nortons and Alice visit Ralph who is in jail.)

Ralph: “What happened?”

Alice: “Ralph, you embarrassed yourself as you were not only stopped drinking to strip yourself naked in front of a thousand people, you passed out and looked like a beached whale.”

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (to Ed, yells): “SHUT UP!”

Ed: “I won the contest.”

(Ralph faints.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. Let me say that I am glad to be alive as this country celebrates its 250th birthday.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “And the Miami Beach celebrations are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)