Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 1)

[Frank Gannucci]

(The NY Knicks beat the Atlanta Hawks 113-102.)

(Ralph and Ed arrive home. They are walking down the hallway in their home.)

Ed: “What a great game Ralph.”

Ralph: “I got to agree. Those Knicks grounded those Hawks.”

Ed: “Yes they sure did. They should’ve named the team Yellow-Bellied Sapsuckers.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ed: “I wonder how far these Knicks will go.”

Ralph: “What are you talking about Norton? The Knicks will win it all.”

Ed: “Well those Knicks haven’t won an NBA title since 1973 and they have always faltered in the playoffs.”

Ralph: “Do you have to remind me Norton? It’s been 53 long years since this city has celebrated an NBA title. The last time the NBA title was won here was back in 1999. I was soooo miserable that night.”

Ed: “I remember. As a matter of fact, the whole building remembers. We all heard you screaming like a wounded elephant.”

Ralph (yells): “OK LETS GO!”

(Ralph wants to fight Ed. People separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 2) (The Atlanta Hawks beat the NY Knicks 107-106.)

(Ralph & Ed are in the Kramden kitchen.)

Ralph: “What a game we went to last night Norton.”

Ed: “Yeah, the Knicks BLEW IT.”

Ralph: “You can say that again.”

Ed: “The most interesting part is when you got into that fight with that Atlanta Hawks fan and you two rolled down the stairs into the Knicks area on the court. It felt like the stairs at MSG were going to collapse.”

Ralph: “Ooooooooh, you are a riot Norton. A real riot. Too bad I got kicked out. To make matters worse, the Knicks lost. I sure hope my moment didn’t make it onto ESPN.”

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): “HEY KRAMDEN, I SAW YOU ON ESPN. YOU MADE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE THE BIGGEST FOOL EVER.”

(Residents laugh including Ed.)

Ralph (getting up, yells to Ed): “GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage, crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. Good night everyone.”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 3) (The Atlanta Hawks beat the NY Knicks 109-108.)

(Ralph comes into the apartment and sulks in the chair.)

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: “What a bad game Ralph.”

Ralph: “You said it Norton. They beat us by one point.”

Ed: “Now Atlanta has the lead.”

Ralph: “Those lousy Hawks. I want to see them get beat.”

Ed: “Me too. Those Hawks are BEASTS.”

Ralph: “You can say that again Norton. I’m just like that kid in the movie Crooklyn. I want to see the Knicks win the NBA title.”

Ed: “Me too. If they do, I will have a party down in the sewer.”

Ralph: “When they do, I will be there to see it.”

Ed: “With your luck, you will miss it because you have to see your mother-in-law while I watch it in all my glory.”

(Ralph gets up.)

Ralph (yells): “GEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks in stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 4) (The NY Knicks beat the Atlanta Hawks 114-98.)

(Ralph is beaming inside the Kramden apartment.)

Ralph: “What a game Alice.”

Alice: “I take it that the Knicks won.”

Ralph: “Yes they did.”

Alice: “So now the series tied?”

Ralph: “Yes.”

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: “Hey Ralph-ie boy! What a great game. Now the chances of the Knicks winning the NBA title has increased.”

Ralph: “I can’t wait to rub it in in Garrity’s face.”

Alice: “Don’t do anything foolish Ralph.”

Ralph: “I never do Alice. I have NEVER DONE anything foolish.”

(Ed & Alice laugh.)

Alice: “You? That is a laugh.”

Ralph: “If I did anything foolish, I am going to eat my hat.”

Ed: “You will probably have it for dinner.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 5) (The NY Knicks beat the Atlanta Hawks 126-97.)

(The wives are waiting for their Uber.)

Trixie: “Alice, have you ever been so embarrassed?”

Alice: “No never. The way our boys reacted to the Knicks winning was so embarrassing.”

(Ralph & Ed come by.)

Ed: “What a great game Ralph.”

Ralph: “You said it Norton. Alice, you just witnessed the future NBA champs. They grounded those Hawks.”

Alice: “I just wished you two acted mature. You were very close to getting kicked out of MSG.”

Ralph: “I promise you. I will not embarrass anyone tonight.”

(The Uber comes by to pick them up.)

Male Driver: “You just witnessed those Knicks beat my Hawks.”

Ralph: “I hope you don’t get sad when they lose. Hahahaha!”

(Later on, Ralph comes home after getting kicked out of the Uber car.)

Alice: “You just HAD to be you Ralph. You made a fool of yourself. What do you have to say?”

Ralph: “I got a BIIIIG mouth.”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 6) (The NY Knicks won the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, 4 games to 2, by beating the Atlanta Hawks 140-89.)

(The boys just watched the game in Ed’s apartment.)

Ralph (yells): “BOY WHAT A GAME NORTON.”

Ed: “The Knicks won by 51 points. That wasn’t a blitz. That was a BLOUTZ.”

Ralph: “Now the Knicks are the first team to advance. They will beat either Boston or Philadelphia.”

Ed: “If they win the series in Philadelphia, we should be there just so you can run up the steps like Rocky and shout: ‘YO ADRIAN!’ The only thing is that the steps will crumble if you run on them.”

Ralph: “Ooooh, you are a riot Norton. A real riot. I can’t wait to rub it in that poor, misguided soul Joe Fenstablau’s face.”

Ed: “With that old clip that they showed from 1970 that featured the Knicks, I wonder if that means that the Knicks will win.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: “This is the season that the Knicks will win it all.”

(They sing a song about winning it all.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 7) (The NY Knicks beat the Philadelphia 76ers 137-98.j

(Ralph and Ed come home and greet the girls.)

Ralph: “Hello girls. What a game we watched.”

Alice: “The Knicks won?”

Ed: “Did they? They romped the 76ers 137-98. That wasn’t a blitz. That was a BLOUTZ.”

Ralph: “You said it Norton. We are going to Miami Beach and we will continue to see the Knicks win down there. I hope he will able to see it.”

Trixie: “Ralph, these games are streamed and televised nationwide.”

Ed: “Streamed nationwide? I would love to watch the games in the water down the sewer.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ed: “I also won’t mind Philly winning.”

Ralph: “Why?”

Ed: “Because this is the 250th birthday of our nation and Philly is where the Declaration of Independence was written.”

Ralph: “Oh boy.”

Ed: “If the Knicks win, they should all run up the steps of that Philly museum and yell: ‘YO ADRIAN!’”

(Ralph laughs.)

Ralph: “The Knicks will win it all.”

(They all sing a song about the Knicks winning it all.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 8) (The NY Knicks beat the Philadelphia 76ers 108-102.)

(Ralph just watched the game in his hotel room in Miami Beach. Ed comes down via an open door.)

Ed: “What a great game Ralph-ie boy.”

Ralph: “You said it Norton. The Knicks are OWNING Philly.”

Ed: “Now the Knicks have momentum going into Philly.”

Ralph: “You got that right.”

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: “I hope you guys don’t get in trouble for any noise that you make just because the Knicks won.”

Ralph: “Don’t worry. We won’t.”

Alice: “I’m going to get some ice.”

(She does.)

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): “ATTENTION EVERYONE! EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING! HEAR THIS! THE KNICKS WON! THEY ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PLAYOFFS! THE SAME THING CANNOT BE SAID ABOUT YOUR MIAMI HEAT!”

(Later on, the Kramdens come back into their hotel room.)

Alice: “Well Ralph, thanks to your big mouth, we almost got kicked out. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Ralph: “I got a BIIIIG MOUTH!”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 9) (The NY Knicks beat the Philadelphia 76ers 108-94.)

(Ralph and Ed just watched the game from a bar on the beach in Miami Beach.)

Ed: “The Knicks won again Ralph-ie boy.”

Ralph: “They certainly did Norton. The Knicks have now a THREE game lead.”

Ed: “The Knicks are almost guaranteed to advance. No NBA team has won a seven game series after losing the first three.”

Ralph: “And no NY team has lost a seven game series after winning the first three…except for the 2004 NY Yankees because the Red Sox. I still haven’t forgotten that.”

Ed: “Neuther has the Red Sox and their fans.”

Ralph: “Well if the Knicks won, it will be a great story.”

Ed: “I agree and do you know what an equal good story would be?”

Ralph: “What?”

Ed: “The 76ers winning the NBA title because they became the first team NBA team to win a four game series after losing the first three games.”

Ralph (yells): “OK NORTON! PUT ‘EM UP!”

(Ed runs into the ocean and Ralph runs after him.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. Good night everyone.”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 9) (The NY Knicks won the Eastern Conference Semifinals, 4 games to 0, by beating the Philadelphia 76ers 144-114.)

(Ralph meets Ed at his manhole.)

Ralph: “The Knicks SWEPT the round Norton.”

Ed: “It looks like they are off to Detroit.”

Ralph: “It looks like they are Knicks are really cooking now.”

Ed: “May I echo those words?”

Ralph: “If and when the Knicks go to the finals, we should watch the movie Crooklyn. That movie is based off Brooklyn in the 70s with one of the kids wanting to watch his Knicks win the NBA title.”

Ed: “Yeah and much like the movie where the little girl hates the boys for being on her stoop, most of the people at 328 Chauncey Street hate you.”

Ralph: “They are just jealous of my success. I get all the publicity.”

Ed: “Yeah and all of it is embarrassing publicity like you being drunk.”

Ralph (yells): “OK NORTON! GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

(The NY Knicks beat the Cleveland Cavaliers 115-104.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game from the Kramden apartment.)

Ralph (yells): “WOW-WEEE! WHAT A GAME NORTON! THE KNICKS SHOWED THAT YOU CAN’T KEEP A GOOD MAN DOWN.”

Ed (yells): “UNLIKE YOU BECAUSE WHEN YOU GET DOWN, YOU CANNOT GET UP.”

(Alice comes in.)

Alice: “I wish you guys would have more sense. Hollering at the top of your lungs just because your Knicks won.”

Ralph: “Alice, do you realize that this would be the first NBA title NY has had in 53 years? I feel like the little boy who was a Knicks fan from the movie Crooklyn. Man that movie was great. Shows you all that Cleveland does NOT ROCK.”

Alice: “I hope you don’t say that to the former Cleveland residents who venture into NYC tomorrow on your bus.”

Raloh: “Don’t worry. Nothing will happen to me.”

(The next day, Ralph comes home with a black eye.)

Ralph (to himself): “Me and my big mouth.”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

(The NY Knicks beat the Cleveland Cavaliers 109-93.)

(Ralph just watched the game in the Kramden apartment and is dancing.)

Alice: “Ralph, I wish you had more sense. You are dancing at 10:43p.”

Ralph: “It’s my night to dance Alice. The Knicks win AGAIN. The Knicks will ROCK Cleveland and show who is the boss.”

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: “Hey Ralph-ie boy! Did you see that game? The Knicks are ROLLING.”

Ralph: “That is right Norton. The Knicks will OWN Cleveland.”

Ed: “We should sing a song that says Cleveland DOESN’T ROCK.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: “How DUMB can you be? We will get SUED for making that song since Drew Carey wrote it.”

Ed: “How did I not know that? He doesn’t sing that on the Price Is Right.”

Ralph: “But the Knicks will own this year.”

(They sing a song about how the Knicks will own the year.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

(The NY Knicks beat the Cleveland Cavaliers 120-108.)

(Ralph just watched the game at the pool room.)

Ed: “The Knicks win again, Ralph-ie.”

Ralph: “Boy what a series. The Knicks are rolling. An advancement is almost a sure thing.”

Ed: “The last time the Knicks were in the NBA finals was 1999.”

Ralph: “Yes, when they lost to the San Antonio Spurs. I’ll never forget how miserable I was.”

Ed: “Yeah, the whole building heard you faint.”

Ralph: “Boy, let’s say that Cleveland doesn’t rock.”

Ed: “No they don’t.”

Ralph: “Let’s all go outside and show support for the Knicks.”

(They do. They come home with black eyes.)

Ed: “Ralph, your bad idea of yelling out support for the Knicks via bullhorns was a BIIIIG failure. Just as big as your stomach.”

Ralph (yells): “OK PUT ‘EM UP!”

(Ed runs away as Ralph goes after him.

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 13) (The NY Knicks won the Eastern Conference Finals, 4 games to 0, by beating the Cleveland Cavaliers 130-93.)

(The girls are watching TV in the Kramden apartment.)

Alice: “You know Trixie, our boys are going to come home from the bar hooting and hollering that the Knicks advanced.”

Trixie: “Maybe they won’t be so loud since it’s 11:30p.”

Ralph & Ed (from hallway, singing loudly and horribly): “THE KNICKS ARE THE CHAMPIONS/THE KNICKS ARE THE CHAMPIONS, OF THE WORRRRRRRLD.”

(They enter. Crowd cheers.)

Ed: “Hey girls.”

Alice: “Boys, I wish you would have more sense. It’s 11:30p.”

Ralph: “Its our night to howl. This is 27 years in the making and I would love to get revenge on the Spurs who beat the Knicks in 1999. The Knicks won in Cleveland and the fans there actually showed Patrick Ewing and Walt Fraser respect and the Knicks. What sportsmanship. Unlike some.”

Ed: “Like you.”

Ralph: “Ooooooh, don’t start Norton.”

Alice: “I seem to agree with Ed. You always get upset when you don’t get your way.”

Ralph: “I always act with great sportsmanship like the time Ed beat me at cards.”

Ed: “Yes even the time when I beat you ten times in a row in one night.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT!”

(He leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. As always, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

[Frank Gannucci]

Ralph Kramden, a NY NBA fan? (Part 14) (The NY Knicks beat the SA Spurs 105-95.)

(The Kramdens and Nortons were outside at MSG. They are standing in the middle of fans.)

Alice: “Ralph, don’t go crazy.”

Ralph: “Alice, what are you talking about? The Knicks are finally getting revenge on the Spurs for what they did in 1999.”

Ed: “We are celebrating like it’s 1999.”

Ralph: “You can say that again Norton.”

Ed: “We are celebrating like it’s 1999.”

Ralph: “Ok Norton.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Trixie: “You guys have been loud and obnoxious all night.”

Ralph: “This is our night. This is 1999 all over again only this time, it’s in our favor.”

Man: “I agree sir.”

Ralph: “You can say that again.”

Man: “What are you talking about? The Spurs are winning it all.”

Ralph: “Hahaha. You are dumb.”

Man: “You don’t want to get in a fight with me. I was in MMA.”

Ralph: “Big deal.”

(Later on, when the Kramdens and Nortons return home it is implied that Ralph got into a fight with him.)

Alice: “You certainly got creamed in that fight Ralph.”

Ed: “I think Ralph would rather eat cream then get creamed.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEEET OUT!”

(The Nortons leave.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)