My Favorite Exchange Between Fred And Esther!!! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

AtlantaBravesFan29 · 11-18-2002, 11:20 AM

Here is my favorite exchange between Fred and Aunt Esther!! I watched the tape of the show where Lamont wants to hold his sensativity meeting at the house and Fred doesn't let him!!
This is a very funny exchange between Fred and Esther:

(Aunt Esther Walks Through The Door)
Fred: Don't you know that you're supposed to knock on people's doors before you come in???
Esther: My nephew says I could come in here as I pleased
Fred: Well,don't come in,wait until I cover up all the mirrors in the house!!!
Esther: Watch your mouth, Fred Sanford!! I didn't come in here to be insulted!!
Fred: Tell me where you go and I'll follow you!!
Esther: Oh, shut up, you old fool!!!
Fred: Fool??? And what are you doing over here anyway???
Esther: I just came to bring some of my homemade preserves!!!
Fred: Well, don't put it up to your face because we sure don't wanna preserve that!!!
Esther: You may think that your face is a prize,it looks like a Brillo pad with eyes!!!
(Fred gets Mad)
Esther: Now where do you want me to put them???
(Fred gives her a G-T-H Look)
Esther: Watch it!!! This is for Lamont!!!
Fred: You came to the wrong place, he's staying over at the Cockroach Hilton(Julio's House)!!
Esther: And what does that supposed to mean???
Fred: We had a discussion about what's his is his and what's mine is mine, and I disagree,I say,what's mine is mine and what's his is mine,now mind your own business
Esther: I don't believe it,you kicked out your own son
Fred: I didn't do it
Esther: Thine own son,bones of thy bones, flesh of thy flesh
Fred: And mouth of thy mouth!!! Why don't you shut up yours???
Esther: You know what Elizabeth would've said,she would've said "Fred, you miserable old snaggle-puss jackass"
Fred: Old???
Esther: That ain't me saying it that's Elizabeth!!! She's saying, "Fred, you old beady-haired pickled eyed fool"
Fred: You keep saying things,I've gonna get me an alibi!!!
Esther: Call Lamont and tell him to come back in here!!!
(Fred Calls Lamont Back Into The House)
Lamont: What's going on here???
Esther: Your father will tell you
Fred: I don't know what's going on but I know who's going out!!!
Esther: Gladly, I've had stomach cramps that I've enjoyed better than you!! I don't know why I come in this heathern house!!! Praise the Lord, Have Mercy!!!

DarleneIllyria · 11-18-2002, 06:57 PM

Hilarious!

W.J. Griffin · 11-26-2002, 10:07 AM

My Lord, that's funny!!

11-18-2002, 11:20 AM	#1
AtlantaBravesFan29 Atlanta Braves Fan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 13, 2002 Location: Pleasanton,TX--40 Miles South Of San Antonio Posts: 1,859	My Favorite Exchange Between Fred And Esther!!! Here is my favorite exchange between Fred and Aunt Esther!! I watched the tape of the show where Lamont wants to hold his sensativity meeting at the house and Fred doesn't let him!! This is a very funny exchange between Fred and Esther: (Aunt Esther Walks Through The Door) Fred: Don't you know that you're supposed to knock on people's doors before you come in??? Esther: My nephew says I could come in here as I pleased Fred: Well,don't come in,wait until I cover up all the mirrors in the house!!! Esther: Watch your mouth, Fred Sanford!! I didn't come in here to be insulted!! Fred: Tell me where you go and I'll follow you!! Esther: Oh, shut up, you old fool!!! Fred: Fool??? And what are you doing over here anyway??? Esther: I just came to bring some of my homemade preserves!!! Fred: Well, don't put it up to your face because we sure don't wanna preserve that!!! Esther: You may think that your face is a prize,it looks like a Brillo pad with eyes!!! (Fred gets Mad) Esther: Now where do you want me to put them??? (Fred gives her a G-T-H Look) Esther: Watch it!!! This is for Lamont!!! Fred: You came to the wrong place, he's staying over at the Cockroach Hilton(Julio's House)!! Esther: And what does that supposed to mean??? Fred: We had a discussion about what's his is his and what's mine is mine, and I disagree,I say,what's mine is mine and what's his is mine,now mind your own business Esther: I don't believe it,you kicked out your own son Fred: I didn't do it Esther: Thine own son,bones of thy bones, flesh of thy flesh Fred: And mouth of thy mouth!!! Why don't you shut up yours??? Esther: You know what Elizabeth would've said,she would've said "Fred, you miserable old snaggle-puss jackass" Fred: Old??? Esther: That ain't me saying it that's Elizabeth!!! She's saying, "Fred, you old beady-haired pickled eyed fool" Fred: You keep saying things,I've gonna get me an alibi!!! Esther: Call Lamont and tell him to come back in here!!! (Fred Calls Lamont Back Into The House) Lamont: What's going on here??? Esther: Your father will tell you Fred: I don't know what's going on but I know who's going out!!! Esther: Gladly, I've had stomach cramps that I've enjoyed better than you!! I don't know why I come in this heathern house!!! Praise the Lord, Have Mercy!!!
	Last edited by AtlantaBravesFan29; 11-22-2002 at 03:21 PM.

11-18-2002, 06:57 PM	#2
DarleneIllyria Gone Forum Star Join Date: Oct 15, 2000 Posts: 19,086	Hilarious!

11-26-2002, 10:07 AM	#3
W.J. Griffin Member Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 29, 2002 Posts: 527	My Lord, that's funny!!