A Honeymooners Labor Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners Labor Day:

(The Kramdens and Nortons are at Central Park. They are participating in the Raccoon Lodge Labor Day baseball game. It’s the men against the Raccoon Lodge Ladies Auxiliary.)

Ralph: “I’m telling you Alice. The MEN are going to beat the ladies at but his game.”

Alice: “Ralph, you are the ONLY one that’s taking this game seriously.”

Ralph: “Why not? It’s my job to prove to you that I am the king of the castle and you’re nothing but a lowly private.”

(Ed comes by.)

Ed: “I see that the outfield is located right by the new swimming pool. Ralph, you will be one of the outfielders but not a baseman since you will take forever to run the bases.”

(Alice laughs.)

Ralph: “You are a riot Norton. A real riot. Now, I can guarantee you I will NOT be embarrassed. We will win this Labor Day game.”

(It’s the bottom of the ninth inning with two outs, the men are up 9-6. The bases are loaded with women. Ralph is in the outfield.)

Ralph (yells): “GET READY TO LOSE ALICE. THE MEN WILL WIN.”

(Alice hits a base hit. The ball goes over the pool.)

Ralph (yells): “I WILL GET THE BALL WITH THIS JUMP.”

(Ralph foolishly jumps to get the ball and fails. The women win and everyone all laugh at Ralph.)

Ed: “Ralph, you looked like a big dumb whale.”

Ralph (yells): “PUT ‘EM UP NORTON! COME ON!”

(Everyone tries to separate them.)

(A still wet, Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)