Sarcastic (but humorous) answers the girls gave to eachother - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

shocolah · 11-04-2002, 11:15 AM

In nearly every episode, one of the girls will ask a question (usually Rose) and one of them (usually Dorothy!) will answer her with a sacastic remark. I think this is one of the funniest things about the show. Do any of you have some memorized (or at least for the most part)? I always quickly forget them!

The one I heard on today's ep that I'm watching now was Rose asked Sophia if she was upset that her friend died and Sophia says "No, I'm upset because I can't relate to thirtysomething!"

Anyone have any others you can think of?

jayman75 · 11-04-2002, 02:04 PM

One of my favorites is the episode where Blanche and Rose form an Elvis Fan Club. At one of the meetings, Blanche displays a half-eaten pork chop that "The King" left on his plate.

Dorothy holds it in the glass box and says "This can't be Elvis's. There's too much meat left on it." She starts laughing, and Blanche grabs it from her.

"Dorothy, you're out of the group. Meeting aujourned. Thank you ladies -- see you next week."

As the woman leave (giving disgusted looks to Dorothy), Blanche and Rose come over. Blanche says "I'm sorry, Dorothy, but the bylaws clearly state that any derogatory statements about the King are grounds for immediate dismissal. I hope you can accept that."

Dorothy looks at her and says "I've just been kicked out of an unauthorized Elvis fan club. I'll try to pick up the pieces of my life and go on."

laughter from the audience

Dorothy goes on.

"I mean, there must be a support group for people like me!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THAT ONE!!!

Adam the Great · 11-04-2002, 07:35 PM

In the episode Dorothy's New Friend, the girls are preparing to go to the Mortimier club and Dorothy asks, Blanche if she can borrow her jewelry. Blanche says "Sure, but I must tell you that my jewelry was desinged for a dainty neck". So Dorothy replies "Yes Blanche, but I don't know Mike Tyson well enough to borrow his jewelry. In the episode "Twas the Nigth Before Christmas", when the girls are at a dinner, Blanche is telling everyone all these Christmas stoires on how she met men. Dorothy says "Blanche I can get herpes listening to these stories". In the episode "Love Me Tender" Dorothy is telling Rose, that they only thing she and Eddie have in common is under the sheets". Rose goes "What's under the Sheets", and Dorothy replies "His Cappachino maker". Now of cousre Dorothy had to learn sarcasm from somewhere, and obviously she learned it from Sophia. In in the pilot episode Blanche's date Harry meets the girls and says to Sophia "You Must be Blanche's sister", so Sophia replies "You must be blind".

GoldenGuy · 11-04-2002, 10:44 PM

in Transplant- the one where blanche's sister needs a kidney.

Rose- why does she need a kidney

Dorthy- TO FEED THE CAT ROSE!!!

Adam the Great · 11-04-2002, 11:13 PM

Here is some more Sophia sarcasm, in the episode "A Miserable Life, the girls are trying to save a 200 year old Oak tree, which is on the lawn of a nasty neighbor who wants to tear it down. The neighbor dies, and the girls are speaking to the funeral director to plan about the neighbor's funeral. The funeral director's name is Mr. Pheiffer but he says that you say the PH. I think he makes a snide remark to the girls about something so Sophia says "Hey Pheiffer how would you like a phfunch in your phfface. In the episode "The One That Got Away", Blanche's old boyfriend Ham visits, and he has gained a lot of weight. Rose says "What asks what does Ham stand for, and Sophia replies "My guess would be Ham and Potatoes". Back to Dorothy sarcasm, in the episode "To Catch A Neighbor", 2 cops are staying at the because the girls new neighbors, The McDowell's are Jewel theifs, Rose says that she saw the Mcdowell's at the supermaket and wrote down everything they bought. Dorothy says "Rose we are lookng for jewels, not Jenos Pizza Rolls". In another episode Dorothy wants to borrow some earrings for Blanche, Blanche says something about her having small ears, and Dorothy replies "Well I don't have enough time untill Disney unvails their Dumbo Line".

Czas na Zywiec · 11-05-2002, 02:03 AM

Rose: Alvin from the boarwalk?
Sophia: No Rose, Alvin from the chipminks!

Rose: Then how come they said the explosion was so loud it broke the windows next door? (Something like that)
Dorothy: Rose, that's an article about an earthquake in Guatemala!

Georgia's on my Mind · 11-05-2002, 09:42 PM

ah these are not exact...

Rose: What are you doing, Cooking?
Dorothy: No, Im developing photos from the Magellan space walk.

Blanche: Since when do you care about your looks?
Dorothy: I think it's when I came down from the bll tower and had my hump removed!

there are so many good ones...

Adam the Great · 11-05-2002, 10:28 PM

Also in the episode "Sister of the Bride" Blanche's homosexual brother Clayton is engaged to be married to a guy named Doug. Blanche says to the girls "What will the neighbors think when they see 2 men sleeping on my bed". Sophia answers "The will think it's Tuesday".

Sam Malone · 11-18-2002, 05:50 PM

ROSE: Exactly how many cheesecakes have we eaten together, Dorothy?
DOROTHY: 147, Rose...

GoldenFamilyTies · 11-18-2002, 11:27 PM

Rose: Do we have to kill the minks?
Sophia: No, Rose, many women like wearing coats that urinate!

Sophia: I found my lucky handkerchief.
Rose: Where was it?
Sophia: It was in my bra.
Rose: What was it doing in your bra?
Sophia: I was blowing my breasts, Rose!

Blanche: I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night!

Rose: Did you know they have an egg named after you Blanche?
Blanche: Oh really? How is it prepared?
Sophia: Over easy.

Blanche: Oh girls... I'm just in ecstasy! My body is tingling all over! You will never guess what just happened!
Sophia: We know what happened! Let us just guess what part of the Middle East he's from!

11-04-2002, 11:15 AM	#1
shocolah Member Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 01, 2001 Posts: 546	Sarcastic (but humorous) answers the girls gave to eachother In nearly every episode, one of the girls will ask a question (usually Rose) and one of them (usually Dorothy!) will answer her with a sacastic remark. I think this is one of the funniest things about the show. Do any of you have some memorized (or at least for the most part)? I always quickly forget them! The one I heard on today's ep that I'm watching now was Rose asked Sophia if she was upset that her friend died and Sophia says "No, I'm upset because I can't relate to thirtysomething!" Anyone have any others you can think of?

11-04-2002, 02:04 PM	#2
jayman75 I Love the 80s! Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 27, 2000 Location: THE GREAT UNITED STATES Posts: 3,809	One of my favorites is the episode where Blanche and Rose form an Elvis Fan Club. At one of the meetings, Blanche displays a half-eaten pork chop that "The King" left on his plate. Dorothy holds it in the glass box and says "This can't be Elvis's. There's too much meat left on it." She starts laughing, and Blanche grabs it from her. "Dorothy, you're out of the group. Meeting aujourned. Thank you ladies -- see you next week." As the woman leave (giving disgusted looks to Dorothy), Blanche and Rose come over. Blanche says "I'm sorry, Dorothy, but the bylaws clearly state that any derogatory statements about the King are grounds for immediate dismissal. I hope you can accept that." Dorothy looks at her and says "I've just been kicked out of an unauthorized Elvis fan club. I'll try to pick up the pieces of my life and go on." laughter from the audience Dorothy goes on. "I mean, there must be a support group for people like me!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THAT ONE!!!
	__________________ A fan of quality, classic television comedies and holiday specials... The Wonder Years,The Golden Girls,Burns and Allen, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Are You Being Served?, Family Guy, South Park, Designing Women, Dallas, The Facts of Life, Roseanne, Will and Grace, The Twilight Zone, Original Scooby-Doo, Murphy Brown, The Big Bang Theory... Talk to me about one of these shows, and I'm all yours...

11-04-2002, 10:44 PM	#4
GoldenGuy MAAAAAA Frequent Poster Join Date: Jul 26, 2002 Posts: 446	in Transplant- the one where blanche's sister needs a kidney. Rose- why does she need a kidney Dorthy- TO FEED THE CAT ROSE!!!
	__________________ Marie: Im Not Just Some Trophy Wife Frank: You're a Trophy Wife... What Contest in Hell did I win. Dreams unwind Love's a State of mind~ Stevie Nicks ~

11-18-2002, 05:50 PM	#9
Sam Malone Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Jun 14, 2002 Location: Alabama, home of 9 electoral votes for President George W. Bush... TWICE! Posts: 355	ROSE: Exactly how many cheesecakes have we eaten together, Dorothy? DOROTHY: 147, Rose...
	__________________ :flag: Bush/Cheney '04 :flag:

11-04-2002, 07:35 PM	#3
Adam the Great Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 22, 2002 Posts: 144	In the episode Dorothy's New Friend, the girls are preparing to go to the Mortimier club and Dorothy asks, Blanche if she can borrow her jewelry. Blanche says "Sure, but I must tell you that my jewelry was desinged for a dainty neck". So Dorothy replies "Yes Blanche, but I don't know Mike Tyson well enough to borrow his jewelry. In the episode "Twas the Nigth Before Christmas", when the girls are at a dinner, Blanche is telling everyone all these Christmas stoires on how she met men. Dorothy says "Blanche I can get herpes listening to these stories". In the episode "Love Me Tender" Dorothy is telling Rose, that they only thing she and Eddie have in common is under the sheets". Rose goes "What's under the Sheets", and Dorothy replies "His Cappachino maker". Now of cousre Dorothy had to learn sarcasm from somewhere, and obviously she learned it from Sophia. In in the pilot episode Blanche's date Harry meets the girls and says to Sophia "You Must be Blanche's sister", so Sophia replies "You must be blind".

11-04-2002, 11:13 PM	#5
Adam the Great Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 22, 2002 Posts: 144	Here is some more Sophia sarcasm, in the episode "A Miserable Life, the girls are trying to save a 200 year old Oak tree, which is on the lawn of a nasty neighbor who wants to tear it down. The neighbor dies, and the girls are speaking to the funeral director to plan about the neighbor's funeral. The funeral director's name is Mr. Pheiffer but he says that you say the PH. I think he makes a snide remark to the girls about something so Sophia says "Hey Pheiffer how would you like a phfunch in your phfface. In the episode "The One That Got Away", Blanche's old boyfriend Ham visits, and he has gained a lot of weight. Rose says "What asks what does Ham stand for, and Sophia replies "My guess would be Ham and Potatoes". Back to Dorothy sarcasm, in the episode "To Catch A Neighbor", 2 cops are staying at the because the girls new neighbors, The McDowell's are Jewel theifs, Rose says that she saw the Mcdowell's at the supermaket and wrote down everything they bought. Dorothy says "Rose we are lookng for jewels, not Jenos Pizza Rolls". In another episode Dorothy wants to borrow some earrings for Blanche, Blanche says something about her having small ears, and Dorothy replies "Well I don't have enough time untill Disney unvails their Dumbo Line".

11-05-2002, 02:03 AM	#6
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398	Rose: Alvin from the boarwalk? Sophia: No Rose, Alvin from the chipminks! Rose: Then how come they said the explosion was so loud it broke the windows next door? (Something like that) Dorothy: Rose, that's an article about an earthquake in Guatemala!

11-05-2002, 09:42 PM	#7
Georgia's on my Mind Senior Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Aug 19, 2001 Posts: 25,054	ah these are not exact... Rose: What are you doing, Cooking? Dorothy: No, Im developing photos from the Magellan space walk. Blanche: Since when do you care about your looks? Dorothy: I think it's when I came down from the bll tower and had my hump removed! there are so many good ones...

11-05-2002, 10:28 PM	#8
Adam the Great Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 22, 2002 Posts: 144	Also in the episode "Sister of the Bride" Blanche's homosexual brother Clayton is engaged to be married to a guy named Doug. Blanche says to the girls "What will the neighbors think when they see 2 men sleeping on my bed". Sophia answers "The will think it's Tuesday".

11-18-2002, 11:27 PM	#10
GoldenFamilyTies Por siempre tú Senior Member Join Date: Jan 15, 2002 Location: United States Posts: 1,329	Rose: Do we have to kill the minks? Sophia: No, Rose, many women like wearing coats that urinate! Sophia: I found my lucky handkerchief. Rose: Where was it? Sophia: It was in my bra. Rose: What was it doing in your bra? Sophia: I was blowing my breasts, Rose! Blanche: I treat my body like a temple. Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night! Rose: Did you know they have an egg named after you Blanche? Blanche: Oh really? How is it prepared? Sophia: Over easy. Blanche: Oh girls... I'm just in ecstasy! My body is tingling all over! You will never guess what just happened! Sophia: We know what happened! Let us just guess what part of the Middle East he's from!