A Honeymooners July 4th: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 07-01-2025, 09:52 AM

A Honeymooners July 4th:

(Ed meets up with Ralph who is on the roof of his bus.)

Ed: “What are you doing up there Ralphie?”

Ralph: “I’m installing a fireworks machine that a street vendor sold me along with fireworks. He gave me his full word that the machine and fireworks are legal. I told Alice about this. Naturally, she says that they are illegal. I said that she’s wrong. The street vendor looked honest. I’m going to be the first bus driver to have fireworks emanate from his bus. I will be FAMOUS.”

Ed: “Inside that head is a thinking machine.”

Ralph: “Thank you Norton. I will prove Alice wrong just like I always do. I won’t even test it.”

Ed: “Always love the fact that you work smart and not hard.”

Ralph: “Thank you Norton. I will be famous.”

(On July 4th, Ralph is driving his bus full of passengers. One of them is Ed. Ed goes up to Ralph.)

Ed: “What is this Ralph?”

Ralph: “That is to activate the machine up there.”

Ed: “I wonder what this button does.”

Ralph (yells): “DON’T.”

(The fireworks go off and hit the traffic lights and telephone lines.)

Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE!”

Ed: “I’m sorry.”

(Cops pull over the bus next to the Gotham Bus Company. Mr. Marshall comes out.)

Mr. Marshall: “Kramden, whats the meaning of this? What is this illegal contraption that I heard you installed on this bus without my permission?”

Ralph: “Huminahumina.”

Cop: “This is an illegal machine Mr. Kramden along with illegal fireworks. You are under arrest.”

Male Passenger: “The skinny guy fired it too.”

Cop: “You two sir are under arrest.”

Ed (starting to cry, yells): “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO JAIL.”

Mr. Marshall: “Kramden, you’re fired.”

Ed: “Looks like you will be infamous.”

Ralph (yells): “OH, YOU ARE GONNA GET IT.”

(The machine and fireworks seller comes by.)

Man: “I am guilty too. Sorry.”

Cop: “You are all under arrest.”

Ralph: “Oh boy. I could’ve been famous.”

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you all. Have a happy and safe July 4th. As always, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST. GOOD NIGHT.”

(Crowd cheers.)

07-01-2025, 09:52 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,072	A Honeymooners July 4th: A Honeymooners July 4th: (Ed meets up with Ralph who is on the roof of his bus.) Ed: “What are you doing up there Ralphie?” Ralph: “I’m installing a fireworks machine that a street vendor sold me along with fireworks. He gave me his full word that the machine and fireworks are legal. I told Alice about this. Naturally, she says that they are illegal. I said that she’s wrong. The street vendor looked honest. I’m going to be the first bus driver to have fireworks emanate from his bus. I will be FAMOUS.” Ed: “Inside that head is a thinking machine.” Ralph: “Thank you Norton. I will prove Alice wrong just like I always do. I won’t even test it.” Ed: “Always love the fact that you work smart and not hard.” Ralph: “Thank you Norton. I will be famous.” (On July 4th, Ralph is driving his bus full of passengers. One of them is Ed. Ed goes up to Ralph.) Ed: “What is this Ralph?” Ralph: “That is to activate the machine up there.” Ed: “I wonder what this button does.” Ralph (yells): “DON’T.” (The fireworks go off and hit the traffic lights and telephone lines.) Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE!” Ed: “I’m sorry.” (Cops pull over the bus next to the Gotham Bus Company. Mr. Marshall comes out.) Mr. Marshall: “Kramden, whats the meaning of this? What is this illegal contraption that I heard you installed on this bus without my permission?” Ralph: “Huminahumina.” Cop: “This is an illegal machine Mr. Kramden along with illegal fireworks. You are under arrest.” Male Passenger: “The skinny guy fired it too.” Cop: “You two sir are under arrest.” Ed (starting to cry, yells): “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO JAIL.” Mr. Marshall: “Kramden, you’re fired.” Ed: “Looks like you will be infamous.” Ralph (yells): “OH, YOU ARE GONNA GET IT.” (The machine and fireworks seller comes by.) Man: “I am guilty too. Sorry.” Cop: “You are all under arrest.” Ralph: “Oh boy. I could’ve been famous.” (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: “Thank you all. Have a happy and safe July 4th. As always, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST. GOOD NIGHT.” (Crowd cheers.)