A Honeymooners Fathers Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners Fathers Day:

(The Kramdens and Nortons travel to Alice’s Dad’s lodge so they can participate in a picnic baseball game. Ralph is upset.)

Ralph: “You got some nerve Alice. Dragging me here to a competiting lodge.”

Ed: “I don’t mind. I want to see you show off your home run skills.”

(Alice’s parents stop by.)

Alice: “Happy Father’s Day Dad!”

Alice’s Dad: “Thank you Alice. Ralph & Ed, I am glad to have you on my team.”

Ed: “If we had kids of our own, they would participate too.”

Ralph: “I will hit a home run that will not be embarrassing.”

Alice’s Mom: “I’ll believe it when I see it. You will be the fattest player I ever saw.”

(Ralph is steaming.)

(The game starts. With Alice’s Dad’s team down by one, Ralph goes up to the plate. He hits a home run and when he runs, he lays down after three seconds of running. The ball goes through the windshield of a cop car.)

(Ed hums the “Dragnet” theme.)

(Uncle Leo comes by and sees Ralph laying. Ralph gets up.)

Uncle Leo: “Ralph, I saw you lay down.” (Slapping Ralph on the back): “It’s GOOD to see you. Am I too late for the eats?”

(A cop comes by to arrest Ralph.)

Alice’s Mom: “You may be too late for the eats but not to see my dumb, son-in-law make a fool of himself.”

Ralph: “Boy, would I like to belt you one.”

Ed: “Ralph, you are the first person I saw that got tired after three seconds of running.”

Ralph (yells): “YOU WANT TO GET BEAT UP?”

(A fight breaks out with the cops celebrating.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thsnk you. The Miami Beach Father’s Days are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”