Tips to keep you safe on Halloween.... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Czas na Zywiec · 10-29-2002, 11:45 PM

I thought we all could use some safety tips for Thursday...

When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. It isn't.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not search the basement or attic, even if the power is out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language that they should not know, shoot them immediately. Shooting them will save you much grief in the long run; however, it will take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This tip also applies to anyone who speaks with someone else's voice.

When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go alone.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This rule also applies to any other house of the dead.

If you are searching for something that caused a loud noise and find out that it was just the cat, get the hell out. Expeditiously.

If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits. Again, get the hell out.

Do not take anything from the dead. No matter how much you like it, it's bound to disagree with you sooner or later.

If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice--more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Haddonfield, Transylvania,
Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in
Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, and any small town in Maine, Maryland, and Massachusetts.

If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to use the telephone. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself in the head. You are going to die anyway and most likely be eaten.

Beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers, butane torches, soldering irons, and ice picks.

If you discover that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This rule also applies to previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion.

LucyFan · 10-30-2002, 12:20 AM

OK

Chocoholic · 10-30-2002, 01:45 AM

Thanks for thw warning, Chris! Now, I'll have a nice, safe, Halloween.

I'm having a big party at my deceased eccentric great uncle's spooky old house in the deserted part of town. Anyone wanna come?

Czas na Zywiec · 10-30-2002, 02:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WingsFan
Thanks for thw warning, Chris! Now, I'll have a nice, safe, Halloween.

I'm having a big party at my deceased eccentric great uncle's spooky old house in the deserted part of town. Anyone wanna come?

*AHEM*

Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: any small town in Maine, Maryland, and Massachusetts

TJL · 10-30-2002, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WingsFan
Thanks for thw warning, Chris! Now, I'll have a nice, safe, Halloween.

I'm having a big party at my deceased eccentric great uncle's spooky old house in the deserted part of town. Anyone wanna come?

Sorry can't make it. A bunch of us randy teens are going to have a big campout at that abandoned summer camp where about 300 people have been slaughtered over the years.
I'd better bring a flashlight...

Georgia's on my Mind · 10-30-2002, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Original Prankster

If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits. Again, get the hell out.

Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Haddonfield, Transylvania,
Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in
Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, and any small town in Maine, Maryland, and Massachusetts.

that actually happened lasy year...the alarm clock kept going off every few minutes even after I turned the alarm clock....I was so freaked out, I just locked my door and stayed in my room and it eventually stopped...ahh ghosts lol

Ahhh Amityville, The people there hate it when everyone makes fun of it, so there was one murder house! lol...I actually would like to visit the city it looks cool....

ahhh also, Im near mass.....I better run too aha....

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 10-30-2002, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Original Prankster

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language that they should not know, shoot them immediately. Shooting them will save you much grief in the long run; however, it will take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This tip also applies to anyone who speaks with someone else's voice.

Ahaha that one had me rollin!

Kay Scarpetta · 10-30-2002, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Lu Delgado

Ahaha that one had me rollin!

I know!!

Kay Scarpetta · 10-30-2002, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Georgia's on my Mind
ahhh also, Im near mass.....I better run too aha....

I'm IN MA.........*runs to Salem* Whoa... safe now!

callmetootie · 10-30-2002, 09:58 PM

Here's the top 5 tips:

1. Don't walk in the direction of a man carrying a knife smeared with blood.

2. Don't eat a candy if you see strange substances coming out of it's sides.

3. Don't put on an Osama Bin Laden mask, trying to get yourself arrrested.

4. Don't walk in the middle of the road with a blindfold over both eyes to make yourself look even more like a pirate.

5. Don't trust the candy given out by people living at a house, at which a sign in front reads, "Betty's Drug Dealers Inc.".

I hope you follow those rules on halloween night.

Georgia's on my Mind · 10-30-2002, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Babes_Kay

I'm IN MA.........*runs to Salem* Whoa... safe now!

lol, GOODY KARLY IS A WITCH!! haha

Chocoholic · 10-30-2002, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Babes_Kay

I'm IN MA.........*runs to Salem* Whoa... safe now!

I'm in MA too. I'll come join you in Salem, Karli! We'll be safe.

Ewan's My Man · 10-30-2002, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Original Prankster
and any small town in Maine, Maryland, and Massachusetts.

*locks the doors and windows*

Very small town in MD

CheersGang3 · 10-30-2002, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by callmetootie
Here's the top 5 tips:

2. Don't eat a candy if you see strange substances coming out of it's sides.

Darn I knew that I shouldn't have ate that Jolly Rancher with the green glowing substance ooozing from the sides. well there were some side effect *points to her extra five arms*

Czas na Zywiec · 10-31-2002, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by callmetootie
Here's the top 5 tips:

1. Don't walk in the direction of a man carrying a knife smeared with blood.

2. Don't eat a candy if you see strange substances coming out of it's sides.

3. Don't put on an Osama Bin Laden mask, trying to get yourself arrrested.

4. Don't walk in the middle of the road with a blindfold over both eyes to make yourself look even more like a pirate.

5. Don't trust the candy given out by people living at a house, at which a sign in front reads, "Betty's Drug Dealers Inc.".

I hope you follow those rules on halloween night.

I already gave out tips. We don't need anymore.

10-29-2002, 11:45 PM	#1
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398	Tips to keep you safe on Halloween.... I thought we all could use some safety tips for Thursday... When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. It isn't. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. Do not search the basement or attic, even if the power is out. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language that they should not know, shoot them immediately. Shooting them will save you much grief in the long run; however, it will take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This tip also applies to anyone who speaks with someone else's voice. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go alone. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This rule also applies to any other house of the dead. If you are searching for something that caused a loud noise and find out that it was just the cat, get the hell out. Expeditiously. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits. Again, get the hell out. Do not take anything from the dead. No matter how much you like it, it's bound to disagree with you sooner or later. If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice--more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Haddonfield, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, and any small town in Maine, Maryland, and Massachusetts. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to use the telephone. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself in the head. You are going to die anyway and most likely be eaten. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers, butane torches, soldering irons, and ice picks. If you discover that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This rule also applies to previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion.

10-30-2002, 09:58 PM	#10
callmetootie Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 06, 2001 Location: Clifton Park, NY Posts: 4,768	Here's the top 5 tips: 1. Don't walk in the direction of a man carrying a knife smeared with blood. 2. Don't eat a candy if you see strange substances coming out of it's sides. 3. Don't put on an Osama Bin Laden mask, trying to get yourself arrrested. 4. Don't walk in the middle of the road with a blindfold over both eyes to make yourself look even more like a pirate. 5. Don't trust the candy given out by people living at a house, at which a sign in front reads, "Betty's Drug Dealers Inc.". I hope you follow those rules on halloween night.
	__________________ Andrew Carden

10-30-2002, 12:20 AM	#2
LucyFan Still Loving Lucy! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 23, 2001 Location: In the Wonderful World of Lucy! Posts: 8,198	OK

10-30-2002, 01:45 AM	#3
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	Thanks for thw warning, Chris! Now, I'll have a nice, safe, Halloween. I'm having a big party at my deceased eccentric great uncle's spooky old house in the deserted part of town. Anyone wanna come?