A Honeymooners Memorial Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners Memorial Day:

(Ralph & Ed are setting up the Raccoon Memorial Day BBQ on a pier in Brooklyn.)

Ralph: “Remember Norton, I choose this pier due to its convenience.”

Ed: “Ralph, are you sure that this is sturdy?”

Ralph: “Of course I am.”

(The wives come by.)

Alice: “Ralph, I hope that you are right about this pier.”

Ralph: “Alice, listen I’m the KING HERE. You don’t dare question the king.”

(The Raccoons come by.)

Head Raccoon: “Now gentlemen, the traditional Raccoon salute.”

All (raising the tail on their caps, yell): “WHOOOOOOOOO!”

(Alice’s parents stop by.)

Alice’s Mom: “Hi Sonny Boy!”

Ralph: “You are to address me in a civil tongue.”

Alice’s Mom: “Oh why don’t you shut up?”

Ralph: “Let’s start cooking.”

(He does. The burgers start cooking.)

Freddie Muller: “Ralph, are you sure that this pier is strong enough for our Memorial Day BBQ?”

Ralph: “Sure. I’ll prove it by jumping.”

(He does and the whole pier collapses with people falling in the “water.”)

(In the next scene.)

Head Raccoon (yells): “RALPH, YOU ARE OUT OF THE RACCOONS.”

Alice: “What do you have to say for yourself Ralph?”

Alice’s Mom: “Once again, my elephant of a son-in-law made a fool of himself.”

Ed: “Ralph, looks like your plan got ALL WET.”

Ralph (yells): “COME HERE YOU TWO SO I CAN SOAK YOUR HEADS.”

(People try to separate them.)

(A still wet Jackie walks on stage.)

Jackie: “Let me say as always, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Happy Memorial Day!”

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Good night!”

(Crowd cheers.)