Writing a book and want feedback on my writing style please

[TheLittleFaerie]

So I'm in the middle of writing a book, entitled Melting Away: The Jonna Gulcheria Story.

It is another Wicked Witch of the West backstory/ Wizard of Oz prequel, loosely inspired by Wicked, but it's a different story. I have based the Wicked Witch of the West character on MYSELF, as I relate to being misunderstood, and most of the other characters are based on others in my life.

It will be a 36 chapter deal, some are very short, divided into 4 parts, and I'm only on chapter 3 right now.

But I included a random scene from chapter 3, The Birthplace of Rainbows and Hope, I'd appreciate it if you give it a read, and give me feedback on my writing style, tell me if you can follow it easily, etc.... since this is really the first thing I've ever tried to write. It's just a random conversation between Glinda and her former college professor, then her cousins. But I hope when the book is complete you will all give it a read!

"Stratum Ferum!" proclaimed Glinda out loud, holding her hands toward the skies. "Stratum Ferum!" she repeated. "Oh fiddlesticks! Maybe it was Fatum Strerum," she corrected. "Yes! Yes, that's it! Fatum Strerum!" She paused and looked toward a cloud in the sky. "Patum Strerum?" she further corrected herself in uncertainty. "Dammit!" she blasted, slamming her book closed when suddenly she noticed a little hunched-back shadow on the table covering her book.

"Well, Miss Glinda, how is life treating you?" inquired a somewhat raspy voice as Glinda looked up to see Madam Minamba, her former professor in Sorcery.

"Oh, Madam Minamba!" exclaimed Glinda, rising, almost knocking her book off the tiny table.

"Oh, keep your seat, Glinda dear," proclaimed the Madam. "I just thought I would drop by to see how life is treating you these days."

"I'm beginning to think I should have listened to my mother years ago when she suggested making Sorcery my minor. I've been working on the same spell for over a year now, and nothing!" she says with a pout.

"Oh no, my child! Never give up!" demanded Minamba. "Sorcery is your dream, your passion, dearie. Never let that go!" she insisted, giving both of Glinda's hands a good squeeze with her own. "Tell me, my child, exactly what is it you're trying to accomplish?" inquired Minamba with a reassuring smile, still holding Glinda's hands.

"Well," began Glinda, sort of unsure, "You know that big drought they've been having in the Lashafay's?" Minamba nodded, her eyes widening with interest, as Glinda continued, "I thought how wonderful it would be if I broke that annoying drought with some rain, I mean lots of rain, like a downpour, but I don't know."

"Ah, my dear child!" proclaimed Minamba, taking Glinda's hands up to her chin. "You remember how tirelessly I worked with you on weather magic? And you showed great potential! Remember that one afternoon we put together that incantation, and it came that big storm all over the Lavender Lavishes?"

"Oh, I think you did most of that!" retorted Glinda.

"I just gathered the ingredients and channeled the confidence you needed, but the power came from you!" assured Minamba, as she continued, "If you could harness your talents to do such a feat that you just mentioned, you would truly fulfill that desire you spoke of many years ago!"

Glinda raised her eyebrows, looking at her former professor, in a brief moment of bewilderment. "Oh, surely you remember, Glinda!" insisted Minamba. "When I asked all my students why they chose Sorcery, you told me you wanted to use your talents to make Oz a better place, the absolute best she can be, and, well, for the good!" Minamba reminded her. "Well, what better way to sign onto such a noble goal?" She smiled big, releasing Glinda's hands, as Glinda's eyes now sparkled with newfound hope, and a smile found its way to her lips as well.

"Imagine, dear Glinda!" continued the professor. "If you could pull this off, you might even help Queen Hidiosa in her governance and perhaps even be of service to the Wizard of Oz himself one day!" she gushed.

That old familiar hope had found its way to Glinda once again, that hope that she had not felt for a couple of years now. She knew, again, this was her life's calling, and she decided to stick with it, no matter how long and tedious the path was. What she was beginning to look at as a mundane task, she was once again looking at as a fresh new adventure after the reassuring words from her former professor. "Yes! Yes! I did cause that rainstorm over the Lavishes that day!" thought Glinda to herself with confidence

"Thank you, Madam Minamba!" Glinda expressed graciously. "Won't you stay for lunch?"

"Oh no dearie, I had to take care of some things up in the Orkods and am on my way back to the Levines, so I'm literally just passing through," giggled Minamba.

As Minamba left, Dam and Anna came out with their coffee to join Glinda at the tiny picnic table.

"Well, you look happier," declared Dam, noticing the now joyful look on his cousin's face.

"I know I just have to keep with my practices, that's all," beamed Glinda, her Gillikinese accent returning slightly, as it always did when she was elated, just like with her aunt Glamoria.

"I don't mean to offend," started Anna, sipping her coffee, her long curly hair and sundress blowing in the Gillikin breezes, "but Glinda, why not pick something more practical? You still have Calculus as your minor. I bet you'd advance on that and even get a job at the Hythen's research lab!"

"Pftt!" scoffs Glinda. "Do you think I want to waste my whole life toiling away in some boring old lab?"

"At least it would be promising, and well, steady. I just don't see much of a future in this Sorcery nonsense!" retorted Anna rather matter-of-factly.

"Oh, you sound just like Uncle Vilip, doesn't she, Dam?" she asked of her cousin. "It's all got to be facts, facts, and more facts, ugh, how dull and ultra boring to go through life that way," proclaims Glinda, opening her book again. "Believe what you want, Ann, but I fully intend to end the drought for those poor Forgonians in the Lashafay's!" she declares.

"Then," continued Glinda with a mischievous look on her face as Dam and Ann listened with anticipation, "I might just turn you two into frogs," she laughed, as Ann rolled her eyes and Dam chuckled, and the three of them were lost in laughter, sipping their coffees.