A Honeymooners Income Tax Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners Income Tax Day:

(Ralph & Ed are doing their taxes in the Kramden apartment and looking like they are stressed out. The wives come by. It’s 5p.)

Alice: “Ralph & Ed, why don’t you two take your taxes down to H&R Block?”

Ralph: “Because we can do this Alice. I refuse to be defeated by these IRS forms.”

Ed: “So do I.”

Ralph: “The IRS is gonna beat me over my dead body.”

Ed: “They can’t do that because they aren’t mountain climbers.”

Ralph: “Ooooh, you’re a riot Norton.”

Trixie: “You two weren’t exactly class valedictorians. Go to H&R Block.”

Ralph: “We will not. We will not be defeated.”

(Later on. Ralph & Ed are sleeping with their heads on the table due to exhaustion. They wake up just as the girls arrive.)

Ralph: “Norton. Where’s our taxes? It’s 9p on April 15th.”

Alice: “Ralph and Ed, what is wrong?”

Ralph: “Huminahumina.”

Alice: “You don’t think that your taxes could’ve been already been done and sent to the IRS?”

(The girls laugh.)

Alice: “We took our taxes to H&R Block while you two were sleeping and they got sent to the IRS.”

Ralph: “How could you do this?”

Alice: “We both are getting a $1,000 refund.”

Both men: “You are the greatest.”

(They hug their respective wives and both couples kiss.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "I hope you all notice that we got a bunch of service members in the front row.”

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: “Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)

Jackie (yells): “GOOD NIGHT!”