A Honeymooners St. Patty’s Day: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 03-14-2025, 07:11 AM

A Honeymooners St. Patty’s Day:

(Ralph & Ed meet at Ed’s manhole.)

Ralph: “Norton, how ironic since it’s almost St. Patty’s Day, I found out that there is treasure in the vents of the Raccoon Lodge. We will find it and split the fortune. I found about this on the Internet. Alice thinks that we are nuts but I said that, if it’s on Wikipedia.org, it must be true.”

Ed: “This may be a hard mission.”

Ralph: “Why do you say that?”

Ed: “How are you going to get in those vents?”

Ralph: “Ooooh, you are asking for it Norton. Those vents are big enough for us to crawl through. We will go running around just before the Raccoon Lodge meeting this Friday. After the meeting, we will be millionaires. We will be living on Park Avenue.”

(On Friday night, Ralph & Ed are in their Raccoon uniforms searching through the vents.)

Ed: “Ralph, it’s spooky in here.”

Ralph: “Shut up Norton. We have been searching through here for hours and we can’t find the treasure. We will find it. We don’t care about the meeting that is going on now.”

Ed: “We are heading over the meeting room.”

Raccoons (from below, yell): “WHOOOOOOOOOO!”

(Ralph can’t move.)

Ralph: “Norton, I’m stuck.”

(Ed pushes Ralph.)

Ed: “Ralph this may be a case of the spirit is willing but the flesh is just too much.”

Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”

(The vent breaks and a lot of dust and dirt fall onto the Raccoons below. They all sneeze.)

Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler (yells): “BROTHERS KRAMDEN AND NORTON, WHAT IS THE MEETING OF THIS?”

Ralph: “Huminahumina. We know that there is treasure up here. I read about it on Wikipedia. Me and Norton are getting it.”

(The Raccoons except for the ruler laugh.)

G.H.E.M.R. (Yells): “WIKIPEDIA IS UNRELIABLE. ANYBODY CAN PUT THINGS THERE. YOU TWO ARE OUT OF THE RACCOONS.”

Ed: “Another one of your plans has gone kaput.”

Ralph (yells): “NORTON, YOU ARE GONNA GET IT.”

Ed (yells): “YOU CANNOT EVEN GET THROUGH THE VENT.”

(The Raccoons laugh as Ralph is fuming.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

03-14-2025, 07:11 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,072	A Honeymooners St. Patty’s Day: A Honeymooners St. Patty’s Day: (Ralph & Ed meet at Ed’s manhole.) Ralph: “Norton, how ironic since it’s almost St. Patty’s Day, I found out that there is treasure in the vents of the Raccoon Lodge. We will find it and split the fortune. I found about this on the Internet. Alice thinks that we are nuts but I said that, if it’s on Wikipedia.org, it must be true.” Ed: “This may be a hard mission.” Ralph: “Why do you say that?” Ed: “How are you going to get in those vents?” Ralph: “Ooooh, you are asking for it Norton. Those vents are big enough for us to crawl through. We will go running around just before the Raccoon Lodge meeting this Friday. After the meeting, we will be millionaires. We will be living on Park Avenue.” (On Friday night, Ralph & Ed are in their Raccoon uniforms searching through the vents.) Ed: “Ralph, it’s spooky in here.” Ralph: “Shut up Norton. We have been searching through here for hours and we can’t find the treasure. We will find it. We don’t care about the meeting that is going on now.” Ed: “We are heading over the meeting room.” Raccoons (from below, yell): “WHOOOOOOOOOO!” (Ralph can’t move.) Ralph: “Norton, I’m stuck.” (Ed pushes Ralph.) Ed: “Ralph this may be a case of the spirit is willing but the flesh is just too much.” Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!” (The vent breaks and a lot of dust and dirt fall onto the Raccoons below. They all sneeze.) Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler (yells): “BROTHERS KRAMDEN AND NORTON, WHAT IS THE MEETING OF THIS?” Ralph: “Huminahumina. We know that there is treasure up here. I read about it on Wikipedia. Me and Norton are getting it.” (The Raccoons except for the ruler laugh.) G.H.E.M.R. (Yells): “WIKIPEDIA IS UNRELIABLE. ANYBODY CAN PUT THINGS THERE. YOU TWO ARE OUT OF THE RACCOONS.” Ed: “Another one of your plans has gone kaput.” Ralph (yells): “NORTON, YOU ARE GONNA GET IT.” Ed (yells): “YOU CANNOT EVEN GET THROUGH THE VENT.” (The Raccoons laugh as Ralph is fuming.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!” (Crowd cheers.)