Season Eight: Moving In, Moving Out

[BeatleMoe]

I have been thinking about a season eight premire of Designing Women. In it, I think Bernice would be an official cast member. Also, I think BJ Poteet would be leaving, and both Suzanne and Charlene would drop by periodically. I want another Sugarbaker to help with the firm, and I am thinking of Denise Sugarbaker, played by Rue McClanahan.

Season eight cast:
Dixie Carter, Annie Potts, Jan Hooks, Alice Ghostley, Rue McClanahan, and Meschach Taylor.

MOVING IN, MOVING OUT
BJ suddenly dies, leaving Julia a whole new hole in business. Her sister in-law Denise buys out BJ's share. Meanwhile, Bernice moves out of Hillcrest Leisure Land and in with Julia.

BABES and Bullets
Anthony announces that he and Ettiene are going to have a baby. Bernice has found Suzanne's old pistol and fires it into the night.

AN AFFAIR NOT TO FORGET
Julia and Denise have been seeing the same man. Carlene and Mary Jo go joyriding and meet up with a motorcycle gang.

HOME AGAIN
Suzanne returns home for her birthday, and ensues a fight with Denise on whose the prettier one.

Just some of my ideas for now.

[BonniesLilCutiePie]

They sound great! I can not wait to read them!

[BeatleMoe]

Scene opens in Sugarbaker's: Julia is sitting at her desk, typing a letter on her computer. In walks Mary Jo.

MARY JO: Good morning, Sunshine.
JULIA: Good morning to you too. You sure are in a good mood this morning.
MARY JO: Well, I went over to Carlene's last night, and we realized that this has been a terrible summer. I mean, we almost went out of business because of that Kiki, and then B.J. died, leaving us a tremedous amount of wealth, and we need a new partner. Then, I got to thinking: Why don't we try to look on the bright side of things for a change. We have a new cash flow. We now are owners of not only Sugarbaker's, but Poteet Ind. as well.
JULIA: Mary Jo, I appreciate your optimism, but in B.J's will, it states that in order to carry out Poteet industries, we must get a buyer to carry that out. (on the computer, a "you've got mail" sound comes out of the speaker) Well, I'll be. I just got an email from Clayton.
MARY JO: How's ol' Clayton?
JULIA: He says that he's doing well. He just got back from Japan visiting Mother, and Suzanne. And that Denise is going to be...divorcing him.
MARY JO: Who's Denise?
JULIA: His current bride. Clayton eloped last May. You know, this woman, for not being a Sugarbaker has a lot of Suzanne in her. She believes that she's beautiful and that everyman wants her.
CARLENE: Mornin' y'all. Mary Jo, you won't believe this. But I was watching Entertainment Tonight last night. And they say that Elvis is not really dead but in fact living in Atlanta as we speak. I don't know about you all, but I'm scared. Suppose I want to get an autograph from him on the street, and he gets hungry and eats me. You know before he died, he was pretty heavy.
JULIA: Well, Carlene, I do believe that that beats Folgers in my cup to wake me up this morning. I suggest that you put on a fine Elvis Presley repellent and pray to God that you don't meet him on the street.
CARLENE: Oh, I don't know Julia. I don't think anything'll stop the king from getting his royal meal.
MARY JO: Where's Anthony?
JULIA: He and Ettiene had a doctor's appointment this morning. They won't be in. I'm glad that you are all here. Because I have an announcement to make.
CARLENE: You're pregnant!
JULIA: No, but good guess Carlene. No, Bernice had just called me to say thatshe has been evicted. So in the mean time, while she looks for an apartment, she will be staying here.
MARY JO: Well, Julia, are you sure you want Bernice to live here?
JULIA: No, I'm not, but she is like a mother to all of us, and we all love her, and Bernice is getting up there in her years. I just don't want her living alone. I will set up some ground rules for her. (Telephone rings) Sugarbaker's. Well, hello Clayton. Yes, I just received your email. I am fine. What? You say you have gotten us a partner. Who? (TONE CHANGES TO ALMOST BITTER SARCASM). Oh yes, I am very excited. She'll be here today, huh. Well, I will bring out the welcome mat for her. (HANGS UP) And then beat the crap out of her.
MARY JO: Clayton got us a partner?
JULIA: Yes he did. He got us Denise. In order to get a share in our business, she had to stay married to him, according to their vows. I just cannot wait for Denise Sugarbaker to enter our home. (In walks Denise, and the audience applauds, recognizing that the actress is Rue McClanahan.)
DENISE: Julia! I'm so happy to see you!
CARLENE: Wow, you're pretty much in high spirits, knowing that if you divorce Clayton, you'll lose your share. (The ladies look at Carlene, and she sheepishly looks to the floor as the scene ends and...)
...To be continued.

[BeatleMoe]

Scene 2: the next day (Carlene, Anthony, and Mary Jo are getting to know their new partner)
ANTHONY: So tell me, Denise, how long have you been married to Clayton?
DENISE: Let's see, it's only November, and we married in...We've been married six months now.
MARY JO: So, what prompted you to do business with Julia.
DENISE: Well, it was supposed to be a venture after I am widowed. Things weren't working out between Clayton and I, so we were going to divorce. But in order to make partner, Ms. Poteet stated in her will that under no circumstance should any new buyer be widowed or divorced. I think that's absurd.
MARY JO: So why don't you just move on to another business?
DENISE: Because. No other business will take me. And from what Perky and Clayton tell me, Julia will give me a fair chance.
ANTHONY: Didn't Suzanne recommend you?
DENISE: I never met Suzanne. Actually, she didn't want to meet me. She thought that I'd marry her brother for money, take him for all he's got, and leave him nothing. Where would she get an idea like that?
ANTHONY: Because Suzanne is THE type.
DENISE: I did really good in Japan, but they only pay in yin there. Just a joke. But I honestly think that I can make it here.
CARLENE: I think you would to. You are just so beautiful. And you look like you've been on tv before, too.
MARY JO: I think you are quite lovely, but why does Julia have a problem with you?
DENISE: I don't understand.
MARY JO: Well, she seemed kind of short with you.
DENISE: Oh, well...That will pass. Many people like me. I am just quite likeable. I'm beautiful. I am probably the prettiest one in here. Excuse me. I need to use the bathroom. (exits)
MARY JO: (to Anthony) Boy, she had me up until that beautiful crap.
CARLENE: Well, Mary Jo, Denise does look a little more beautiful than you.
MARY JO: Thank you Carlene.
ANTHONY: I don't think we're giving her much of a chance. In the last two years since Suzanne left, we have gone through two partners. Frankly, I partied the day that Allison left. But losing B.J. was just a shock. Denise is nice enough.
MARY JO: Well, brace yourself. BJ also stated in her will that Denise has to live in her big mansion with her husband.
ANTHONY: Excuse me? I thought Ettiene and I would get that house! After all I'm a partner, too!
MARY JO: What in the hell are you complaining about? Besides, you purchased Suzanne's house.
ANTHONY: I guess I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
CARLENE: Y'all, this may be off topic, but she kind of looks they type whose ridden more than horses in her day. (Julia and Bernice walk in)
BERNICE: Hello, everybody!
ALL: Hi Bernice.
BERNICE: I am just so excited to be here! This is my true home. In fact, I'm going to change my last name to Sugarbaker just to feel right at home.
JULIA: Bernice, you are going to be staying in Payne's room.
BERNICE: Well, that's all right, Julia, but I want to stay in my room. I make it a rule not to sleep in somebody else's bed unless it is someone that I have had sex with.
JULIA: (in her polite, impatient tone) Bernice, Payne's room is YOUR room now.
BERNICE: Oh. Well then, twenty-four that whole sex remark then.
CARLENE: Don't you mean "eighty-six" that remark?
BERNICE: No I don't Carlene. I mean twenty-four. Eighty-six is stupid.
DENISE: Why hello there. I am Denise Sugarbaker.
BERNICE: Julia, why the hell didn't you tell me you had another sister. All these years I thought it was you and Suzanne!
JULIA: Bernice, calm down. This is my sister-in-law.
BERNICE: Oh, good. I thought this may have been a relative that you don't care to talk about.
JULIA: I don't.
MARY JO: Julia!
JULIA: I'm sorry. But I do have a problem with women like you, Denise. I am talking about a woman who marries men for money. I am talking about a woman who hasn't a problem with taking money off of the night stand when the night ends. I am talking about women with bank accounts stretched across the globe while the men are working their hind-ends off in factories to pay and please you. I am talking about wonton Hussies!
DENISE: Well, if we were talking about Suzanne...
JULIA: You don't even KNOW Suzanne.
CARLENE: Yes she does. Anthony and Mary Jo filled her in. (They all shoot a look at her)
BERNICE: Oh, for Heaven's sake, girls. Stop the fighting. My track record goes without saying.
DENISE: Are you saying that you have been with more men than I?
BERNICE: Frankly, sister, I have been with more men than all the women residing in the Center of Disease Control have been.
MARY JO: Don't listen to her, Denise. Bernice is special. She's just a little nuts, that's all.
DENISE: I can't believe this nonsense. I've only been here two days, and you all judge me without getting to know me. I'm beginning to think that this whole idea of becoming a partner was just dumb. (as she walks out the door)
JULIA: Well, as a team, that is something that we all can agree on. (slams the door)
TO BE CONTINUED...

[BonniesLilCutiePie]

I love it!