An I Love Lucy/Honeymooners XMas crossover (from 2022) Part 1

[Frank Gannucci]

(The Ricardos & Mertzes are driving out in the country to cut down a tree. Ricky gets a call on his cellphone.)

Ricky: “It’s Mr. Ralph Kramden.”

(Ricky answers it.)

Ralph (on phone): “Hello Ricky!”

Ricky: “Hi Ralph! You ready for tomorrow.”

Ralph (over phone): “Yes and I will be away from that blabbermouth of a mother-in-law of mine.”

(Ricky laughs.)

Ricky: “I hope all goes well.”

Ralph (over phone): “Don’t worry. When they made me, they threw away the mold.”

Ricky: “And when you taste the booze tomorrow, you may remind you of the time you got drunk on grape juice.”

(They both laugh.)

Both (with Ralph over the phone): “See ya.”

Ethel: "Fred, didn't they invent XMas tree lots so people didn't have to waste an entire Saturday to pick out a tree?

Fred: "They invented them Ethel because people like to spend money. I don't."

Ricky: "Besides cutting down a tree is fun even though it makes your hands row."

Lucy: "Row?"

Ricky: "Yeah. Row. R-o-u-g-h."

Lucy: "You mean rough."

Ricky: "Never mind making fun of my English."

Lucy: "That's English?"

Fred: "I feel like cutting down a tree."

Lucy: "Yeah, I feel like cutting down a tree."

Ricky: "Lucy, there is no way we are letting you cut down a tree. If we did, we would be lucky if the tree didn't fall over on us."

Lucy: "Oh."

(They stop and begin to walk to the trees.)

Ethel: "Fred, I am starting to become frozen from the waste down."

Fred: "That's too be expected Ethel. You gals need to start roughing it."

Ricky: "There's the tree."

Lucy: "It looks great. It's not big. It's just full."

Ricky: "Well, Lucy take the saw out."

(Lucy has this look that says she forgot the saw.)

Ricky: "Lucy, where's the saw?"

Lucy: "I forgot it."

All (yell): "WHAT?"

Lucy: "It's wasn't my fault. I was paying attention to something else."

(Ricky starts muttering in Spanish.)

Ricky: "Lucy, do you know what this means?"

Lucy: "What?"

Ricky: "All of us are going to dig our hands into the snow and..."

Lucy: "Ewwwww..."

(They dig the tree out of the ground and they carry the tree onto the car. Fred is responsible for tying the tree. Ricky has this look of anger on his face.)

Lucy: "RIcky, are you still mad?"

Ricky (sarcastically): "No. I just LOVE getting my hands dirty and the fact that I missed the Christmas concert on TV."

Lucy: "Ooooh."

Ethel: "I hope that you are satisfied Lucy."

Lucy: "Well, when you think back, this is actually funny. Hahahaha...Aaaaaaah HA!"

(Fred comes back in the car.)

Fred: "Let's head on home."

Ethel: "You sure that rope is tied Fred?"

Fred (imitating Ethel): "Yes, I am sure it's tied."

(They drive off. They drive up a bridge that overlooks a river. The tree falls off and plunges into the river. They stop and get out.)

(To be continued.)

[Frank Gannucci]

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