A Honeymooners Columbus Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners Columbus Day:

(Ralph & Ed are taking a small boat ride past the Statue of Liberty.)

Ralph: “What a way to celebrate Columbus Day Norton.”

Ed: “Yeah. Sailing along the heavily polluted East River knowing full well that the water is what I work with every day.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: “Norton, you are a character. Today is Columbus Day. This guy sailed and discovered America in 1492. I wonder what it was like on that ship.”

Ed: “With the way boats were built back then, the boat would sink with you on it.”

Ralph: “Oooooh, you’re a riot Norton. You better watch out.”

Ed: “I wonder what Chris did when he discovered America.”

Ralph: “I’ll show you.”

(Ralph steps over the balcony.)

Ralph (yells): “LAND! I SEE LAND!” (jumping, yells): “YIPEE!”

(That part of the boat breaks and both that part and Ralph fall into the water.)

Ed (yells): “MAN OVERBOARD! HE LOOKS LIKE A GREAT WHITE WHALE! HE LOOKS LIKE MOBY DICK.”

Ralph (from the water, yells): “OOOOOOH, YOU ARE GONNA GET IT!”

(Later on, a still soaked Ralph comes home with Ed. The girls see him.)

Alice: “Ralph, what do you have to say for yourself? You looked like Moby Dick.”

Ralph (yells): “DON’T START!”

(A still soaked Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)