25 Phrases Of Wisdom - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Plata · 09-29-2002, 10:14 PM

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more idiot than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

-*Forever*- · 09-29-2002, 10:47 PM

Tammy · 09-30-2002, 02:20 PM

*Forever*, how do you get the colors in your sig to change like that?

ks · 09-30-2002, 06:12 PM

Those were great. Thanks a lot for posting them! Especially enjoyed that last one

ks

Crimson and Clover · 09-30-2002, 07:08 PM

those are funny

TJL · 09-30-2002, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ks
Those were great. Thanks a lot for posting them! Especially enjoyed that last one

I think I know what I want on my headstone...

Cactus Jack · 09-30-2002, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL

I think I know what I want on my headstone...

Kay Scarpetta · 09-30-2002, 08:28 PM

Love 'em!

Jinny Girl · 09-30-2002, 08:47 PM

fukin funny my friend. fukin funny.

Warm & Fuzzy · 10-04-2002, 10:10 PM

Hahaaaa, I like those!

Babes_Cat · 10-04-2002, 11:19 PM

Hehe

-*Forever*- · 10-04-2002, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tammy

*Forever*, how do you get the colors in your sig to change like that?

Methodus 3

09-29-2002, 10:14 PM	#1
Plata Member Senior Member Join Date: May 16, 2001 Location: Regina,Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 1,201	25 Phrases Of Wisdom 1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. 20. There is always one more idiot than you counted on. 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. 25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

09-29-2002, 10:47 PM	#2
-Forever- <3333333333333333333 Forum Superstar Join Date: Nov 22, 2001 Location: Manlius, NY in reality. Deerfield Beach, FL in my heart. Posts: 28,001
	__________________ "Mmm... no... Jeter does not do it for me. He looks like the Rock had sex with a muppet."

09-30-2002, 06:12 PM	#4
ks Certifiably Insane Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 21, 2000 Location: I live in my hole... Posts: 5,501	Those were great. Thanks a lot for posting them! Especially enjoyed that last one ks
	__________________ "Ya gotta have a little faith." C.D. DeLerenzo

09-30-2002, 07:08 PM	#5
Crimson and Clover Member Forum Star Join Date: Jun 09, 2002 Location: NC Posts: 17,345	those are funny
	__________________ Friend me: http://www.facebook.com/MaryLynnCall My Etsy shop http://www.etsy.com/shop/MotherMary You'll never find a sweeter combination As peace and love - Mishka

09-30-2002, 08:28 PM	#8
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	Love 'em!
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

09-30-2002, 02:20 PM	#3
Tammy MonkeeGroupies Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 04, 2001 Location: Monkeeland Posts: 263	Forever, how do you get the colors in your sig to change like that?

09-30-2002, 08:47 PM	#9
Jinny Girl Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 04, 2001 Location: ...I'm not sure (looks around) WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!!?!??!? Posts: 2,726	fukin funny my friend. fukin funny.
	__________________ Good Charlotte Me: JOEL!!! Can i have a picture with you? Joel: Sure, just let me sign everything first. while hes talking he finished signing some other girls stuff and I gove him my ticket Ya don't wanna miss anybody... Me: Ok he signs a star and gives it back Thank you. My mom: while Joel was there OMG DANA HE SPOKE TO YOU!!! I Love Benjamin Madden and Joel Madden Joel Benji Billy Paul Behold the power of Good Charlotte

10-04-2002, 10:10 PM	#10
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	Hahaaaa, I like those!
	__________________ "To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." ~Unknown

10-04-2002, 11:19 PM	#11
Babes_Cat Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Oct 11, 2001 Location: massachusetts Posts: 34,145	Hehe