An Honeymooners Income Tax Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

An Honeymooners Income Tax Day:

(On April 15th, Ralph meets Ed at the front steps of their apartment building.)

Ed: “I got my taxes done Ralph.”

Ralph: “So did I. The nerve of our wives who continue to tell us to get them done earlier. Hahaha! It’s only 11p. We can get there on time.”

Ed: “Lets go.”

Ralph: “And away we go.”

(They go. They arrive on a bus. There is a big traffic jam. It’s 11:45p.)

Ralph: “Come on you bum of a fellow bus driver.”

Man: “Hey man. I’m going as fast as I can.”

Ed: “Ralph, let’s get off here. We will go the rest of the way by sewer. I know of the manhole that pops up in front of the IRS office.”

Ralph: “Ok. Let’s go. Oooh boy!”

(They do. They go through the sewer. Ed escapes but Ralph gets stuck because of his weight. People laugh at him.)

Ed: “Looks like you are literally stuck with a problem Ralph.”

Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON! HELP ME OUT!”

(People try to pull him out but to no avail.)

Ed: “Ralph, can I get you a TV?”

Ralph (yells): “OOOOH, YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT NORTON!”

Ed: “Wait a minute. I’ll buy some olive oil.”

(He goes inside the nearest Walgreens and gets olive oil. He douses Ralph with it and Ralph is able to get out but he ends up soaking wet. They go inside the IRS office and go to the IRS booth at 11:59p and they get their taxes filed in the nick of time. People laugh at Ralph.)

Ralph: “I guess we weren’t too late.”

Alice’s Mom (startling them): “Maybe not but not too late to see you making a big, fat, loser of yourself like usual.”

Ralph (to Alice’s Mom): “YOU ARE A BLABBERMOUTH! A BLABBERMOUTH!”

(They fight but people separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)