A Honeymooners Easter: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 03-28-2024, 07:18 AM

A Honeymooners Easter:

(Ralph greets Ed at his manhole.)

Ralph (yelling through the manhole): “HEY NORTON!”

Ed (from the sewer, yells): “COMING RIGHT UP RALPH!”

(Ed comes up.)

Ed: “Whaddaya say there Ralph? What do you got there?”

Ralph: “I got a rabbit costume for the Raccoon Easter race.”

Ed: “Isn’t that costume small for you?”

Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot. I got the cheapest one I can find. This one fits. I guarantee you, I will not trip and get yolk all over my face.”

Ed: “Not even with me in the race?”

Ralph (yells): “WHAT? HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY IDEA?”

Ed (yells): “I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT YOUR IDEA UNTIL NOW. HOW COULD I STEAL IT?”

Ralph: “I don’t know how you did but you did. I am going to win that prize Norton. $1000 and not you. My legs are very powerful unlike yours. Just remember Norton. From here on in, we are DEADLY enemies. I don’t want to have nothing to do with you. If you see me going down the street, get on the other side.”

Ed: “When you walk down a street, there AINT no other side.”

Ralph: “Tonight, I am going down to my home. My rabbit hole.”

Ed: “A rabbit hole is better than your apartment.”

(Ralph leaves. On Easter Day, Ralph is in his bunny costume that’s skin tight.)

Alice: “Ralph, I told you to get a bigger size.”

Ralph: “Don’t start with me Alice. I’m the king here remember that.”

(Much to Ralph’s chagrin, Alice’s parents arrive.)

Ralph: “What is she doing here?”

Alice’s Mom: “Hi Sonny Boy!”

Ralph: “Ok. She can watch. There’s Ed right there. I can’t wait to outshine him.”

(The contestants arrive at the starting line.)

Man: “On your mark…set…go!”

(They are off. Ralph trips, falls into the mud with his face falling into the eggs and his costume rips. He has a major wardrobe malfunction where people see his backside (which in actuality is not shown to anyone). He has yolk all over his face. Ed wins.)

(Cousin Leo arrives.)

Cousin Leo: “Hello Ralph, it’s GOOD to see you. Am I too late for the race?”

Alice’s Mom: “You maybe too late for the race but not too late to see my big, fat, loser of a son-in-law, make a fool of himself.”

(Ralph reacts by trying to fight her. People separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “In case you are wondering, I wasn’t naked. I wore pants underneath. The Miami Beach Easters are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

03-28-2024, 07:18 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,090	A Honeymooners Easter: A Honeymooners Easter: (Ralph greets Ed at his manhole.) Ralph (yelling through the manhole): “HEY NORTON!” Ed (from the sewer, yells): “COMING RIGHT UP RALPH!” (Ed comes up.) Ed: “Whaddaya say there Ralph? What do you got there?” Ralph: “I got a rabbit costume for the Raccoon Easter race.” Ed: “Isn’t that costume small for you?” Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot. I got the cheapest one I can find. This one fits. I guarantee you, I will not trip and get yolk all over my face.” Ed: “Not even with me in the race?” Ralph (yells): “WHAT? HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY IDEA?” Ed (yells): “I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT YOUR IDEA UNTIL NOW. HOW COULD I STEAL IT?” Ralph: “I don’t know how you did but you did. I am going to win that prize Norton. $1000 and not you. My legs are very powerful unlike yours. Just remember Norton. From here on in, we are DEADLY enemies. I don’t want to have nothing to do with you. If you see me going down the street, get on the other side.” Ed: “When you walk down a street, there AINT no other side.” Ralph: “Tonight, I am going down to my home. My rabbit hole.” Ed: “A rabbit hole is better than your apartment.” (Ralph leaves. On Easter Day, Ralph is in his bunny costume that’s skin tight.) Alice: “Ralph, I told you to get a bigger size.” Ralph: “Don’t start with me Alice. I’m the king here remember that.” (Much to Ralph’s chagrin, Alice’s parents arrive.) Ralph: “What is she doing here?” Alice’s Mom: “Hi Sonny Boy!” Ralph: “Ok. She can watch. There’s Ed right there. I can’t wait to outshine him.” (The contestants arrive at the starting line.) Man: “On your mark…set…go!” (They are off. Ralph trips, falls into the mud with his face falling into the eggs and his costume rips. He has a major wardrobe malfunction where people see his backside (which in actuality is not shown to anyone). He has yolk all over his face. Ed wins.) (Cousin Leo arrives.) Cousin Leo: “Hello Ralph, it’s GOOD to see you. Am I too late for the race?” Alice’s Mom: “You maybe too late for the race but not too late to see my big, fat, loser of a son-in-law, make a fool of himself.” (Ralph reacts by trying to fight her. People separate them.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: “In case you are wondering, I wasn’t naked. I wore pants underneath. The Miami Beach Easters are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!” (Crowd cheers.)