Keychain Quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Sammy M. Malone · 09-12-2002, 08:33 PM

You know all those quotes they put on those keychains in the mall or shops that they sell? Well post your favs. here!

-The good news is im me. The bad news is you're you.
-I have an attitude. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 09-12-2002, 08:35 PM

I have one that says "I have PMS and a gun...Excuse me? Did you have something to say?" AHAHA WAWAAWA

Babes_Cat · 09-12-2002, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Lu Delgado
I have one that says "I have PMS and a gun...Excuse me? Did you have something to say?" AHAHA WAWAAWA

I have that... my friend has some funny ones.. i'll post em later.

Babes_Cat · 09-12-2002, 08:37 PM

Ha! I found a site....

Witty Keychain Quotations

I need more money, power, and less **** from you people.
We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
Discourage inbreeding; ban country music.
Life is short. Don't be a dick.
Yoo hoo!! Here I am, at the bottom of your purse!
Starlight Starbright where the hell is Mr.Right
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group
I majored in liberal arts, would you like fries w/that.
I majored in philosophy, would you like fries w/that.
I want my man to have a VCR: Very Cute Rear
I have PMS and a gun. Did you have something to say?
I'm 17. Give me your credit cards, give me your keys and get
out of my way!
I haven't found Mr Right but i have found Mr Cheap, Mr SLeazy
and Mr Wrong.
You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me.
It's Miss Bitch to you.
Lost your cat? Look under my tires.
How do you keep an idot amused? Turn over. . . (on both sides
of keychain)
I suffer from PMS... Putting up with Men's ****
I am so good in bed that when i have sex even the neighbors need
a cigarette.
If you're rich, I'm single.
Men suffer from PMS too... Pretending to be Macho Studs
If you shower in your clothes, it shows you're crazy. If you
shower nude, it show's your nuts!!!
I'm immature, unorganized, irresponsible, lazy, and LOUD... but
I'm FUN.
If you don't like my driving, then get off the sidewalk!
If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna piss you off. - or - If
it has tires or tits, it's gonna piss you off.
Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great
woman is some guy staring at her ass!
Bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass
Birthdays only come once a year... aren't you gald you're not a birthday?
Give me a quarter or I'll touch you!
To some it's half empty, To some it's half full. To me it's time for a beer run!
(Written in really tiny writing) Nosey little ****er, aren't you?
(This is a visual gag. It's a condom inside plastic with the caption)
"In case of emergency, break glass." (What's really funny is in tiny
writing underneath) "Not recommended for use"
I am so broke, I can't even pay attention.
I am not a BITCH... I am *the* BITCH.
I was put on this planet to make your life miserable.
I'm in touch with my inner bitch.
I am trying to graduate college with a 4.0 (blood alcohol level).
I do what the voices in my head tell me.
Looking for Mr. Right *crossed out* Mr. Wonderful *crossed out* Mr. Coffee!
Heartbreaker, looking for next victim.
In God we trust. All others we monitor.
That dress just screams Crack Whore.
Not all women are annoying... some are dead.
The nuns made me dress this way.
You! Out of the gene pool!
You must be this tall to ride this ride.

Sammy M. Malone · 09-12-2002, 08:41 PM

hehe

Crimson and Clover · 09-12-2002, 08:46 PM

My friend has one that says something like Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some? and then theres, Remember my name, youll be screaming it later.

Babes_Cat · 09-12-2002, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jlpmghrs1
My friend has one that says something like Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some? and then theres, Remember my name, youll be screaming it later.

Ah, I've seen those before. I almost bought the screaming one... id on't know why i didn't tho. Lol.

Sammy M. Malone · 09-12-2002, 08:49 PM

Lol do we ever know y we dont do things we were going to? i almost bought 1 that did an acrostic poem of b!tch...and i dont know y i didnt

Montana Ponine · 09-12-2002, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl

Life is short. Don't be a dick.

At first I thought that said Life is short. Don't be a duck. *shrugs* Dunno.

Kay Scarpetta · 09-12-2002, 09:02 PM

LOL Those are funny

Kay Scarpetta · 09-12-2002, 09:09 PM

Dewd I've gotta post this even know this is really dirty... my friend has it on a keychain (very small of course). Obviously all bolded words are candy bars or candy...just lettin you know cause a few I haven't heard of...

The Birth of a Candy Bar

One Payday, Mr. Goodbar wanted to Skor, so he took Miss Hershey to the Pot of Gold Motel on the corner of Aero and Fifth Avenue to show her some Twix. He began to feel her Mounds, which gave her pure Almond Joy and made her Tootsie Roll which, of course, made her want to Eat More. When he saw her Cherry Blossom, he gasped, "Sweet Marie, this is Wunderbar!" She let out a Snicker and felt like she was flying around Mars, as he slid his Butterfinger up her Kit Kat which caused a Milky Way. She screamed out, "Oh, Henry!" as she grasped his Big Turk and squeezed his M & M's. Then she said, giving him a Hershey's Kiss, "You're even better than the Three Musketeers", to which he replied, "Hey, My Little Peanut Butter Cup, when you're this good, they call you Mr. Big." Looking at the clock, he noticed it was After Eight, so he, not wanting to get caught in the Crispy Crunch of traffic, got dressed and went home, feeling as cool as a Klondike. But, to his dismay, the little lady soon became Chunky and nine months later, gave birth to a Baby Ruth.

Titania · 09-12-2002, 09:16 PM

my favorites..

-I found my keys, now wheres the car??
-Not interested, look elsewhere
-You dont have to like me to love me
-Of all the things Ive lost, I miss my mind the most
-I take "bitch" as a compliment
-Looking for Mr. Right but having fun with a lot of Mr. Wrongs
-If it werent for boys I wouldnt come to school
-As a matter of fact the earth DOES revolve around me

Georgia's on my Mind · 09-12-2002, 09:18 PM

OMG Those are so funny....This really isn't a keychain quote but i have seen it on stickers they sell near the keychain things at the mall that says...."The Peguins stole my insanity..."

TJL · 09-12-2002, 09:19 PM

Years ago my friend had one that said

"You touch my keys, and I will kick you in the ba**s. Have a nice day."

Czas na Zywiec · 09-12-2002, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kay Scarpetta
Dewd I've gotta post this even know this is really dirty... my friend has it on a keychain (very small of course). Obviously all bolded words are candy bars or candy...just lettin you know cause a few I haven't heard of...

The Birth of a Candy Bar

One Payday, Mr. Goodbar wanted to Skor, so he took Miss Hershey to the Pot of Gold Motel on the corner of Aero and Fifth Avenue to show her some Twix. He began to feel her Mounds, which gave her pure Almond Joy and made her Tootsie Roll which, of course, made her want to Eat More. When he saw her Cherry Blossom, he gasped, "Sweet Marie, this is Wunderbar!" She let out a Snicker and felt like she was flying around Mars, as he slid his Butterfinger up her Kit Kat which caused a Milky Way. She screamed out, "Oh, Henry!" as she grasped his Big Turk and squeezed his M & M's. Then she said, giving him a Hershey's Kiss, "You're even better than the Three Musketeers", to which he replied, "Hey, My Little Peanut Butter Cup, when you're this good, they call you Mr. Big." Looking at the clock, he noticed it was After Eight, so he, not wanting to get caught in the Crispy Crunch of traffic, got dressed and went home, feeling as cool as a Klondike. But, to his dismay, the little lady soon became Chunky and nine months later, gave birth to a Baby Ruth.

Oh ogd, I am soooooo Forwarding that beautiful story to all my friends.

09-12-2002, 08:33 PM	#1
Sammy M. Malone Matthew Perry Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 13, 2002 Location: Have Goofy Dreams! Posts: 453	Keychain Quotes You know all those quotes they put on those keychains in the mall or shops that they sell? Well post your favs. here! -The good news is im me. The bad news is you're you. -I have an attitude. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.
	__________________ <center>http://www.boomspeed.com/cheerschick/sigbn1.gif http://www.boomspeed.com/cheerschick/sigbn2.gif

09-12-2002, 08:46 PM	#6
Crimson and Clover Member Forum Star Join Date: Jun 09, 2002 Location: NC Posts: 17,345	My friend has one that says something like Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some? and then theres, Remember my name, youll be screaming it later.
	__________________ Friend me: http://www.facebook.com/MaryLynnCall My Etsy shop http://www.etsy.com/shop/MotherMary You'll never find a sweeter combination As peace and love - Mishka

09-12-2002, 09:02 PM	#10
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	LOL Those are funny
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

09-12-2002, 09:16 PM	#12
Titania a part of that Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 04, 2000 Posts: 3,694	my favorites.. -I found my keys, now wheres the car?? -Not interested, look elsewhere -You dont have to like me to love me -Of all the things Ive lost, I miss my mind the most -I take "bitch" as a compliment -Looking for Mr. Right but having fun with a lot of Mr. Wrongs -If it werent for boys I wouldnt come to school -As a matter of fact the earth DOES revolve around me
	__________________ I don't mean to put on any pressure, but I know what a thing is right. and I spend every day reconfiguring my senses. I'll give you stars and the moon and a soul to guide you and a promise I'll never go I'll give you hope to bring out all the life inside you and the strength that will help you grow. myspace

09-12-2002, 09:19 PM	#14
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Years ago my friend had one that said "You touch my keys, and I will kick you in the ba**s. Have a nice day."
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

09-12-2002, 08:35 PM	#2
AllIWantIsYourClutch peaceout. Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 02, 2001 Location: Illinois. Posts: 53,424	I have one that says "I have PMS and a gun...Excuse me? Did you have something to say?" AHAHA WAWAAWA

09-12-2002, 08:37 PM	#4
Babes_Cat Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Oct 11, 2001 Location: massachusetts Posts: 34,145	Ha! I found a site.... Witty Keychain Quotations I need more money, power, and less ** from you people. We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God. Discourage inbreeding; ban country music. Life is short. Don't be a dick. Yoo hoo!! Here I am, at the bottom of your purse! Starlight Starbright where the hell is Mr.Right To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group I majored in liberal arts, would you like fries w/that. I majored in philosophy, would you like fries w/that. I want my man to have a VCR: Very Cute Rear I have PMS and a gun. Did you have something to say? I'm 17. Give me your credit cards, give me your keys and get out of my way! I haven't found Mr Right but i have found Mr Cheap, Mr SLeazy and Mr Wrong. You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me. It's Miss Bitch to you. Lost your cat? Look under my tires. How do you keep an idot amused? Turn over. . . (on both sides of keychain) I suffer from PMS... Putting up with Men's I am so good in bed that when i have sex even the neighbors need a cigarette. If you're rich, I'm single. Men suffer from PMS too... Pretending to be Macho Studs If you shower in your clothes, it shows you're crazy. If you shower nude, it show's your nuts!!! I'm immature, unorganized, irresponsible, lazy, and LOUD... but I'm FUN. If you don't like my driving, then get off the sidewalk! If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna piss you off. - or - If it has tires or tits, it's gonna piss you off. Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ass! Bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass Birthdays only come once a year... aren't you gald you're not a birthday? Give me a quarter or I'll touch you! To some it's half empty, To some it's half full. To me it's time for a beer run! (Written in really tiny writing) Nosey little *er, aren't you? (This is a visual gag. It's a condom inside plastic with the caption) "In case of emergency, break glass." (What's really funny is in tiny writing underneath) "Not recommended for use" I am so broke, I can't even pay attention. I am not a BITCH... I am the* BITCH. I was put on this planet to make your life miserable. I'm in touch with my inner bitch. I am trying to graduate college with a 4.0 (blood alcohol level). I do what the voices in my head tell me. Looking for Mr. Right crossed out Mr. Wonderful crossed out Mr. Coffee! Heartbreaker, looking for next victim. In God we trust. All others we monitor. That dress just screams Crack Whore. Not all women are annoying... some are dead. The nuns made me dress this way. You! Out of the gene pool! You must be this tall to ride this ride.

09-12-2002, 08:41 PM	#5
Sammy M. Malone Matthew Perry Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 13, 2002 Location: Have Goofy Dreams! Posts: 453	hehe

09-12-2002, 08:49 PM	#8
Sammy M. Malone Matthew Perry Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 13, 2002 Location: Have Goofy Dreams! Posts: 453	Lol do we ever know y we dont do things we were going to? i almost bought 1 that did an acrostic poem of b!tch...and i dont know y i didnt

09-12-2002, 09:09 PM	#11
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	Dewd I've gotta post this even know this is really dirty... my friend has it on a keychain (very small of course). Obviously all bolded words are candy bars or candy...just lettin you know cause a few I haven't heard of... The Birth of a Candy Bar One Payday, Mr. Goodbar wanted to Skor, so he took Miss Hershey to the Pot of Gold Motel on the corner of Aero and Fifth Avenue to show her some Twix. He began to feel her Mounds, which gave her pure Almond Joy and made her Tootsie Roll which, of course, made her want to Eat More. When he saw her Cherry Blossom, he gasped, "Sweet Marie, this is Wunderbar!" She let out a Snicker and felt like she was flying around Mars, as he slid his Butterfinger up her Kit Kat which caused a Milky Way. She screamed out, "Oh, Henry!" as she grasped his Big Turk and squeezed his M & M's. Then she said, giving him a Hershey's Kiss, "You're even better than the Three Musketeers", to which he replied, "Hey, My Little Peanut Butter Cup, when you're this good, they call you Mr. Big." Looking at the clock, he noticed it was After Eight, so he, not wanting to get caught in the Crispy Crunch of traffic, got dressed and went home, feeling as cool as a Klondike. But, to his dismay, the little lady soon became Chunky and nine months later, gave birth to a Baby Ruth.

09-12-2002, 09:18 PM	#13
Georgia's on my Mind Senior Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Aug 19, 2001 Posts: 25,054	OMG Those are so funny....This really isn't a keychain quote but i have seen it on stickers they sell near the keychain things at the mall that says...."The Peguins stole my insanity..."