A Honeymooners Halloween: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 10-27-2023, 06:40 PM

A Honeymooners Halloween:

(Ralph & Ed arrive in the Kramden apartment with a sewing machine.)

Ralph: “Norton, we are gonna win the Raccoon Halloween costume contest. I can feel it.”

Ed: “Do you know how to work a sewing machine Ralph?”

Ralph: “Of course I do. You put the threads with a needle and there you go.”

Ed: “Here you go.”

(Ed puts the needles in Ralph’s hands.)

Ralph (yells): “OWWWWWWWWWW! THOSE ARE NEEDLES.”

Ed: “What did you expect, chicken noodles?”

Ralph: “You do something like that one more time Norton, so help me.”

Ed: “Ok. I will plug it in.”

(He does. Alice comes home.)

Alice: “Hello boys! Ralph, you got me a sewing machine.”

Ralph: “Yes, it’s for you but it’s also for me and Ed to make our costume. We are going as a horse. I will be the back and he will be the front.”

Ed: “Hey, hey, hey. Why can’t I be the back and you be the front? With your plan, the horse will look like it has a WHOLE LOT of junk in its trunk.”

(Ralph looks at Ed in a mean way.)

Ralph: “Norton, one of these days…POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER! I’m going to be the back and you the front.”

Ed: “Ok Ralph! If you insist. This way, if you fart, I won’t smell the fart of an elephant.”

(Ralph & Ed then argue about the reversal of their placements in the costume.)

(Finally, on Halloween. The girls are all dressed up. Alice is dressed as Taylor Swift while Trixie is dressed as Selena Gomez. They are on the front stoop.)

Trixie: “How did our male versions of Martha Stewart do as far as making their costume when we told them that it should be made by pros?”

Alice: “You will see.”

(The boys come out and the costume is a mess with one sleeve longer than the other, holes all over the costume and it looks like a child made it.)

Ed: “I see Ralph that this costume looks like the back of a horse with you doing most of the sewing.”

(Ralph chases after Ed. The girls try to calm them down.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach Halloweens are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

10-27-2023, 06:40 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,072	A Honeymooners Halloween: A Honeymooners Halloween: (Ralph & Ed arrive in the Kramden apartment with a sewing machine.) Ralph: “Norton, we are gonna win the Raccoon Halloween costume contest. I can feel it.” Ed: “Do you know how to work a sewing machine Ralph?” Ralph: “Of course I do. You put the threads with a needle and there you go.” Ed: “Here you go.” (Ed puts the needles in Ralph’s hands.) Ralph (yells): “OWWWWWWWWWW! THOSE ARE NEEDLES.” Ed: “What did you expect, chicken noodles?” Ralph: “You do something like that one more time Norton, so help me.” Ed: “Ok. I will plug it in.” (He does. Alice comes home.) Alice: “Hello boys! Ralph, you got me a sewing machine.” Ralph: “Yes, it’s for you but it’s also for me and Ed to make our costume. We are going as a horse. I will be the back and he will be the front.” Ed: “Hey, hey, hey. Why can’t I be the back and you be the front? With your plan, the horse will look like it has a WHOLE LOT of junk in its trunk.” (Ralph looks at Ed in a mean way.) Ralph: “Norton, one of these days…POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER! I’m going to be the back and you the front.” Ed: “Ok Ralph! If you insist. This way, if you fart, I won’t smell the fart of an elephant.” (Ralph & Ed then argue about the reversal of their placements in the costume.) (Finally, on Halloween. The girls are all dressed up. Alice is dressed as Taylor Swift while Trixie is dressed as Selena Gomez. They are on the front stoop.) Trixie: “How did our male versions of Martha Stewart do as far as making their costume when we told them that it should be made by pros?” Alice: “You will see.” (The boys come out and the costume is a mess with one sleeve longer than the other, holes all over the costume and it looks like a child made it.) Ed: “I see Ralph that this costume looks like the back of a horse with you doing most of the sewing.” (Ralph chases after Ed. The girls try to calm them down.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach Halloweens are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!” (Crowd cheers.)