A Honeymooners July 4th: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 07-01-2023, 07:28 AM

A Honeymooners July 4th:

(Ralph & Alice are arguing in their stateroom on the ship.)

Alice: “Ralph, I am not giving you the $59 to buy fireworks so you can fire them on the ship.”

Ralph: “Alice, you got to. Me and Norton are going to surprise this captain by making his ship be famous. Please Alice, don’t you want to be on a famous ship?”

Alice: “Yeah but not one that is going to have two crazy idiots on it.”

Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot. I am going to continue to yell at you until you give me the money.”

(The next day, Ralph & Ed are in Mexico.)

Ed: “Ralph, I think that the whole ship heard you and Alice yell all night long. I couldn’t even hear the dance music at the dance last.”

Ralph: “Don’t worry. I will show her by buying fireworks cheap.”

(A Mexican man hears them.)

Man: “Hey senor. You looking to buy fireworks. I will sell these to you for one peso. They are COMPLETELY LEGAL.”

Ralph: “Deal. You look like an honest man.”

(They do business. Ralph & Ed leave.)

Man (to himself in Spanish): “What he doesn’t know is that those fireworks are illegal.”

(On the night of July 4th, Ralph & Ed have the fireworks ready on the dock.)

Ralph: “Come on Ed. Let’s fire the fireworks.”

(They do and they completely misfire and they hit a Mexican police station and the ship. The captain sees this.)

Captain: “What’s the meaning of this?”

Ralph: “Huminahumina. Huminahumina.”

(Later on, a cop comes on board and sees the fireworks. Alice & Trixie see the fact that the husbands are in trouble.)

Cop: “These fireworks are illegal. Any American should’ve seen the difference.”

Alice: “How could you do such a thing, boys?”

Ed: “I see that another one of your plans went up in flames.”

(Ralph goes to fight Ed. Everyone separates them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Let's introduce every one of the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Aud comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: “GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

07-01-2023, 07:28 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,073	A Honeymooners July 4th: A Honeymooners July 4th: (Ralph & Alice are arguing in their stateroom on the ship.) Alice: “Ralph, I am not giving you the $59 to buy fireworks so you can fire them on the ship.” Ralph: “Alice, you got to. Me and Norton are going to surprise this captain by making his ship be famous. Please Alice, don’t you want to be on a famous ship?” Alice: “Yeah but not one that is going to have two crazy idiots on it.” Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot. I am going to continue to yell at you until you give me the money.” (The next day, Ralph & Ed are in Mexico.) Ed: “Ralph, I think that the whole ship heard you and Alice yell all night long. I couldn’t even hear the dance music at the dance last.” Ralph: “Don’t worry. I will show her by buying fireworks cheap.” (A Mexican man hears them.) Man: “Hey senor. You looking to buy fireworks. I will sell these to you for one peso. They are COMPLETELY LEGAL.” Ralph: “Deal. You look like an honest man.” (They do business. Ralph & Ed leave.) Man (to himself in Spanish): “What he doesn’t know is that those fireworks are illegal.” (On the night of July 4th, Ralph & Ed have the fireworks ready on the dock.) Ralph: “Come on Ed. Let’s fire the fireworks.” (They do and they completely misfire and they hit a Mexican police station and the ship. The captain sees this.) Captain: “What’s the meaning of this?” Ralph: “Huminahumina. Huminahumina.” (Later on, a cop comes on board and sees the fireworks. Alice & Trixie see the fact that the husbands are in trouble.) Cop: “These fireworks are illegal. Any American should’ve seen the difference.” Alice: “How could you do such a thing, boys?” Ed: “I see that another one of your plans went up in flames.” (Ralph goes to fight Ed. Everyone separates them.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: "Let's introduce every one of the cast. First: Jean Kean." (Audience cheers as Jean comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.) Jackie: "Audrey Meadows." (Audience cheers as Aud comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.) Jackie: "Art Carney." (Audience cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.) Jackie: “GOOD NIGHT!” (Crowd cheers.)