The Honeymooners gang goes on a cruise to Mexico:

[Frank Gannucci]

The Honeymooners gang goes on a cruise to Mexico:

(The Kramdens and Norton’s are boarding a cruise in Fort Lauderdale.)

Ralph: “It’s too bad that we are leaving the Miami Beach area. That town IS the Fun and Sun Capital of the world.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ed: “I guess you can say that the captain is filling this thing up with gas and pointing it towards Mexico.”

(They both laugh.)

Trixie: “I wonder what we should see first in Mexico.”

Ralph: “I know.”

Ralph (sings): “When I arrive in Mexico, I am going to explore/the many famous things that Turkey is famous for/I will visit all the smart cafes and have a round of drinks/When I’m in Mexico, I may stop to see the Sphinx.”

Ed, Alice & Trixie: “The Sphinx?”

Ralph (sings): “In Mexico, there is a Sphinx.”

All (sing): “You can see it in Mexico.”

Ralph: “Let’s go.”

(They all board the limo.)

Ralph (yells): “AND AWAY WE GO!”

(Later on, Ralph & Ed are on the dock.)

Ralph: "Well, here we are Norton. On the ship's dock. Let's sit down."

(They sit down.)

Ed: "Can you put the blanket on me?"

Ralph: "Sure."

(Ralph does.)

Ralph: "Can you put my blanket on me?"

Ed: "Sure."

(Ed gets up and puts the blanket on Ralph.)

Ed: "Now, do the same thing for me?"

(Ralph starts to, but stops.)

Ralph: "You are not going to get me that easy."

(Ed starts to write a postcard.)

Ed: "'Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Smith: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Nat: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry & Smith. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. Hope things are flowing nicely in the sewer. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry, Nat & Smith but they might be busy giving regards to each..."

Ralph (yells): "STOP THAT!"

(Ralph gets up.)

Ralph: “I am sick Norton. It’s my stomach.”

Ed: “Well, that is a big problem.”

Ralph (yells): “NEVER MIND THAT.”

Ed: "Come on Ralph. Time to sing: "'I never felt better in my life.'"

Ralph (sings): "I never felt better in my..." (not singing): "Whooaaaaaaaaaa!...”

(Ralph goes over and hurls onto a band that is going to play down on the lower dock. The captain sees this and puts him in the captain’s room to detain him. He allows him to remain on the ship.)

(The girls and boys arrive for breakfast the next day on board.)

Alice: “Boy, you Ralph had to embarrass yourself on Celebrity Cruise. We told you not to have those ten pizzas. Now, I hope you Ralph don’t embarrass ourselves.”

Ed: “Hey, at least I can say I keep in shape unlike Ralph.”

Ralph (yells): “COME ON NORTON! PUT’ EM UP! YOU HAVE BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY.”

(Everyone tries to separate them and make peace.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Let's introduce every one of the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Aud comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: “GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)