Ups and Downs: A former project of mines…but revamped!

[TVLegend]

A while back, I posted a thread in Chit Chat about a “sitcom” of my own I created if you will titled “Ups and Downs”. Well, I started resuming said project, revamped it, and here…is the new, updated version! Please read and give me your thoughts and feedback.

SYNOPSIS:

“Ups and Downs” focuses on the lives of the African-American Davis family, led by patriarch Antonio Davis, as they go through everyday trials and tribulations, some situations ensuing great hilarity.


Cast of Characters:

Antonio Davis: The protagonist of the show, and the overweight, abrasive, outspoken, narrow-minded, grouchy, slovenly 50 year old patriarch of the Davis family. Antonio works as a police officer and is known to have a very short fuse and a bad temper. Together, he and his wife, Sofia have two children: a son and a daughter named Jamal and Mackenzie.

Sofia Davis: The religious, wisecracking, no-nonsense wife of Antonio and the mother of his two children: Jamal and Mackenzie.

Nathan Davis: Antonio’s younger first cousin, who, along with his wife and kids, moves in with Antonio and Sofia after their home burns down. Nathan’s father and Antonio’s father were brothers. Nathan works as a locksmith.

Tamika Davis: The wife of Nathan and the mother of their two children: Treyson and Aria. At first, Tamika seems to be a totally normal person and the typical devoted mother and wife, but it’s later revealed that she’s an alcoholic and has been cheating on her husband with his best friend.

Leslie Hamilton: Sofia’s gossiping, nosy, sassy best friend and the Davis’ next-door neighbor. Despite her close friendship with Sofia, Antonio and Leslie dislike each other tremendously, often arguing and insulting each other whenever they’re in the same room together. Leslie has been married and divorced 4 times and works at a boutique.

Mackenzie Davis: The dimwitted, immature daughter of Antonio and Sofia who attends high school. She has an older brother, Jamal.

Treyson Davis: Nathan and Tamika’s 13 year old son and the oldest of two.

Aria Davis: Nathan and Tamika’s talkative, smart mouth 6 year old daughter and Treyson’s little sister. Antonio and Sofia often urge Nathan and Tamika to spank Aria due to her disrespectful behavior at times, but the two absolutely refuse to engage in such discipline.

Jamal Davis: The lazy, irresponsible son of Antonio and Sofia who’s a college student despite barely attending any classes.

Keith: Nathan’s co-worker and best friend once upon a time before he had an affair with Nathan’s wife, Tamika.

[TVLegend]

…LOL.

[TVLegend]

Please give me your thoughts and feedback…love to hear your opinions on the characters so far.

[dee2364]

I'm sorry, but as detailed as these characters are and as much effort as you put into them, there's no hook to this concept.

Understand that by the 1960s, the family sitcom genre had become completely exhausted, which is why by the 1970s, there always had to be an X factor besides the actual family to hook viewers. In the 1970s, the X factor was race, class and social issues. In the 1980s, the X factor was getting a famous comic to base the humor around or emphasizing non-traditional nuclear families (Full House, Married with Children, Roseanne, etc.) In the 1990s, the X factor and beyond was usually a gimmick (Dinosaurs, The Simpsons, Family Guy, etc.).

There's no hook here, nothing that would make me or anyone want to see it. I just see "generic sitcom characters."

Another issue I see here is that I don't see any longevity in this series. For a series to last long, the concept has to be the type where the scripts practically write themselves. What potential storylines do you see this concept inspiring? They are a black family full of abrasive personalities, and...? They just fight each other week to week?

Look at why Married with Children was successful. It was successful because the X factor was that they were working class slobs living next to a Yuppie couple. Also, the show was parodying people who had peaked in high school and keep trying to relive what they felt were their glory days. The writers were able to get a lot of mileage from these two premises? What mileage will you get in the way of your show's concept?

[TVLegend]

Originally Posted by dee2364

I'm sorry, but as detailed as these characters are and as much effort as you put into them, there's no hook to this concept.

Understand that by the 1960s, the family sitcom genre had become completely exhausted, which is why by the 1970s, there always had to be an X factor besides the actual family to hook viewers. In the 1970s, the X factor was race, class and social issues. In the 1980s, the X factor was getting a famous comic to base the humor around or emphasizing non-traditional nuclear families (Full House, Married with Children, Roseanne, etc.) In the 1990s, the X factor and beyond was usually a gimmick (Dinosaurs, The Simpsons, Family Guy, etc.).

There's no hook here, nothing that would make me or anyone want to see it. I just see "generic sitcom characters."

Another issue I see here is that I don't see any longevity in this series. For a series to last long, the concept has to be the type where the scripts practically write themselves. What potential storylines do you see this concept inspiring? They are a black family full of abrasive personalities, and...? They just fight each other week to week?

Look at why Married with Children was successful. It was successful because the X factor was that they were working class slobs living next to a Yuppie couple. Also, the show was parodying people who had peaked in high school and keep trying to relive what they felt were their glory days. The writers were able to get a lot of mileage from these two premises? What mileage will you get in the way of your show's concept?

I thank you for the constructive criticism. I’ll try to work on those areas. And by the way, welcome back.

[dee2364]

Originally Posted by TVLegend

I thank you for the constructive criticism. I’ll try to work on those areas. And by the way, welcome back.

No problem...and thanks.