The Elvira Sitcom We Could've — And Should've — Had

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https://collider.com/the-elvira-show-sitcom/

The Mistress of the Dark had her very own sitcom back in 1993. If only it had lasted.

In 1993 Cassandra Petersen and writing partner John Paragon collaborated on an idea for a sitcom that would’ve brought the iconic Elvira: Mistress of the Dark into living rooms across America and beyond. Pitched to CBS, The Elvira Show was given the green light for a half-hour pilot episode. Had The Elvira Show taken off, it might have resembled Married with Children by way of Dark Shadows. The support of a TV network would have enabled Elvira (Petersen) to break into mainstream culture, become a household name and not only appeal to those of us drawn to pop culture with a distinctly Goth flavor. But alas, it was not to be. Family values prevailed and Elvira’s return to the small screen was canceled.

Elvira’s popularity had increased following the release of the feature film Elvira: Mistress of the Dark – despite it getting critically panned and a poor box office performance– in 1988 and the possibility of a sitcom would have made fans ecstatic at the prospect of her returning to her TV roots. The hostess with the mostess had proven she had cross-marketing appeal since the launch of KHJ-TV’s Elvira’s Movie Macabre, appearing in TV commercials, in her own DC comic Elvira’s House of Mystery and as a frequent guest on celebrity chat shows. Could she crossover into a TV dramedy? Of course she could. Albeit, in a never-before-seen story in a similar setting to Mistress of the Dark, a new aunt and a talking cat. Elvira’s antic would translate so well to weekly sitcom scenarios. A recipe for success, surely?

What was ‘The Elvira Show’ About?

The beguiling lady vamp revisits an old haunt where she’ll be residing with her Aunt Minerva (Katherine Helmond) in Manhattan, Kansas (no kidding). Pretty soon they’re plagued by lovesick neighbors. It transpires Elvira is doing everything in her witchy power to blend in and not draw attention to herself. This is Elvira, so the plan didn’t exactly work. To earn some extra cash, she is offering readings from her crystal ball and selling concoctions at extortionate rates for women wanting love. The Deluxe Love Package is very popular and for an extra $20, she can make sure your man stays faithful. She’s putting those divinatory skills to excellent use and keeping the neighbors at bay. When a lantern-jawed, muscled lothario shows up at her door and it turns out he is a cop, it stirs up trouble and Elvira finds herself in a pickle. The neighbors must not discover the witchcraft, Aunt Minerva returns from the supermarket with an enchanted shopping trolley. Sometime later, Lindsey (Christine Rose) knocks on their door and is mistaken for a girl scout selling cookies. The unfortunate girl’s father died before she was born and her mother vanished in a boating accident in The Bermuda Triangle. Chip’s superior assigns him a really important case: nail Elvira! They hook up and after refusing some physical therapy, and kissing, he suggests a potion. No more spoilers from here — it resolves itself in a satisfying, silly, could-only-happen-in-a-sitcom way. So was The Elvira Show any good? And would a show featuring a sexy Goth character fit on the CBS schedule?

Was It Any Good and Why Didn’t It Happen?

Right off the bat, the endearingly frothy first episode doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it does entertain and provide some funny double-entendres – “Hold that thought, Chip” she tells her man-crush. “Right between the knees.” The badly dubbed real cat (he isn’t animatronic) is more a distraction from the rapier-wit dialogue, or Minerva and Elvira’s colorful exchanges and Lindsey’s abrupt introduction. The location is vintage Addams Family art-direction and set design. Katherine Helmond is as witty and well-developed as Elvira herself, what a joy the show might have been if they’d received a whole season order. In 1993, audiences hadn’t seen a show featuring supernatural occupants since Dark Shadows or The Addams Family, and The Elvira Show had all the hallmarks of a show that could potentially go stratospheric.

Cassandra Petersen had been told the show "was in the can" by Jeff Sagansky. “I was the darling of the lot,” she wrote in her memoir, Yours Cruelly, Elvira. “Everyone seemed to agree that The Elvira Show was a slam-dunk for CBS’s fall lineup and I couldn’t have been happier” So what happened? Sagansky’s boss Howard Stringer was in the building when Sagansky had fallen ill. He heard laughter from one of the screening rooms, saw a scene with Elvira in it and roared, "We can have tits like that on CBS!" and this put the kibosh on a sitcom featuring Elvira. Overall, it was a strong pilot with buckets of potential, full of witty dialogue and Cassandra Petersen chewing scenery with the best of them.

Oscar-winning Hilary Swank also came close to working with Elvira during the filming of The Elvira Show. Petersen really liked Swank’s audition and struggled with her decision, to finally went with Christine Rose as her niece. A few years later Petersen ran into Hilary Swank and they exchanged pleasantries, Petersen asked if she had done any more acting and Swank informed her she’d recently won an Oscar for Boys Don’t Cry. Not long after they’d canceled The Elvira Show — before it even broadcast — Sabrina: The Teenage Witch materialized at CBS. It had the same set-up: two witchy aunts taking in their niece and a sarcastic talking cat. Cassandra Petersen was pissed off but picked herself up, brushed herself off and got on with it. Cassandra Petersen’s career has endured for 40 years and she isn’t slowing down. Elvira is the ultimate Horror Icon and has been a Halloween staple for many of us since childhood.

The Elvira Show we never had, or got to see is a huge disappointment and it would’ve been years ahead of anything else had it gone to series. Elvira deserves the recognition afforded to the iconic Bart Simpson, Rupaul, or Martha Stewart. This situation really was an unpleasant dream…

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I genuinely advise you check out the Elvira Show. Such a great show.