A Honeymooners Easter:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners Easter:

(Ralph & Ed are in the Kramden kitchen coloring Easter eggs.)

Ed: “Boy Ralph-ie boy! This is a great thing that we are doing for the kids in the building. I feel just like a kid again.”

Ralph: “Aren’t you a kid 24/7? Anyway, we are going to do an Easter egg hunt all over the building. I got my map here of where we will put the eggs.”

(Ed looks at the map.)

Ed: “Wow!…I see you have an enormous amount of eggs in one apartment.”

Ralph: “Yes, that is Garrity’s apartment. That blowhard needs some revenge from me. After all, he had the nerve to nominate ME as the loudest person in the building.”

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”

(Alice comes in.

Alice: “Hiya boys! I see that you are all done.”

Ralph: “Yes, as a matter of fact, I put some eggs outside. We are working on the rest.”

Alice: “Where are they?”

Ed: “We put some eggs on the stairs going to my apartment.”

Alice: “Ralph, that’s dangerous. Take them back.”

Ralph (yells): “I WILL NOT! THEY ARE PERFECT BEING THERE. THE CHANCES OF ONE FALLING ARE ZILCH.”

(A big crash is heard with a man yelling.)

Ed: “That’s the landlord!”

(The landlord comes in.)

Landlord: “Kramden and Norton, I am going to sue you for every penny you got. GET RID OF THOSE EGGS.”

(He leaves.)

Ed: “Ralph, looks like we got egg on our face but I’m sure you would lick it off.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Tgank you. I see that we got kids in the crowd. They will be happy when they see the Easter Bunny outside right now.”

(Kids cheer.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)