Script of The Honeymooners from SNL: The Honeymooners Lost Episodes & more: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 02-10-2023, 08:25 AM

Script of The Honeymooners from SNL: The Honeymooners Lost Episodes & Looney Tunes Short: “Half Fare Hare”:

Air Date: Sat. 3/22/86

This skit is VERY CONTROVERSIAL. So much so that if you watch the episode on Peacock, the sketch is edited out. The reason is due to domestic violenece. As the air date indicates, this was shown just as the lost episodes were brand new to reruns and home video releases.

Ralph Kramden is played by George Wendt
Alice Kramden is played by Nora Dunn
Ed Norton is played by Tony Michael Hall

Ralph comes home and says that he is bowling tonight. Alice brings out tuna fish. Ralph is aghast. Alice says that her mambo lesson ran late and she didn't have time to fix dinner. Ralph is upset that his dinner was affected by mambo lessons. A knock on the door is heard. Ralph opens the door and Ed comes in and sets up a turntable near the front door. Him and Alice practice their dance moves.

Ralph (hits Ed who stumbles into the record player): "This is too much. This time you pushed me too far." Alice: "The only thing that can push you is a bulldozer." Ralph: "One of these days, bang, zoom- to the moon, Alice! to the moon!" Alice says that he has been saying that for years and Ralph is all talk and no action. Ralph, in a shocking moment, finally smacks Alice right in the jaw knocking her to the floor and the crowd sadly cheers. This is the moment that prevents it from being on Peacock.

Ralph kicks Ed out. As Alice comes to, Ralph says that he is sorry. Ralph: "I know we have sex once a year. Will you forgive me?" Alice, shockingly forgives Ralph just like that.

As you can see, this is something that I am pretty sure that all of the main cast members of the Honeymooners probably didn't like.

“Half-Fare Hare”:

Release Date: Sat. 8/18/56

In this Looney Tuens short, apparantly Ralph Kramden & Ed Norton (and they are identified as such) are hobos on a train. They are played by the same actors who played Ralph Crumden and Ned Morton on the Honeymousers shorts.

A train comes by a house. Bugs Bunny picks up a newspaper called the Daily Blaze. The top article is "LOCAL CARROT CROP FREEZE". One of the small articles underneath it is "Rabbits Leaving State In Droves." Bugs: "I don't have a drove. I guess I will have to settle for a choo-choo to Chattanooga. Come on Cahttanooga Choo-choo."

Sure enough, there is a train called "Chattanooga Choo-choo" where Ralph & Ed as hobos are on the freight train. Ralph & Ed are starving. Ralph even tries to eat Ed's foot since he is going nuts. Ed stops himself but since Ed is also going nuts, HE tries to eat his foot but the train stops himself. Bugs comes on Ralph & Ed's car. Both: "It's food." They try to trick Bugs by saying that he is in time for dinner. Ralph & Ed just happen to have a huge pot with wood and water. Bugs still doesn't get what they are trying to do. Bugs: "What are we having for dinner?" Ralph: "It's a surprise."

While the train goes into a tunnel and there is no light, Ed tries (and fails) to put Bugs in the boiling pot but he somehow confuses Ralph for Bugs and somehow is able to put Ralph in the pot. He doesn't realize this until the train comes out of the tunnel. Ralph comes out of the pot looking like a broiled lobster. Ralph is upset at Ed. Bugs tries to flee by climbing out of the car. They run after him but all three get stopped dead in their tracks by smoke. Bugs: "We must be going through Los-Ang-el-ez." Bugs lays down right by Ralph & Ed as they are wondering where he went. Bugs: "I went that way." Ralph & Ed run that way only to fall into a alligator farm tank car with alligators. Ha! THey try to flee. Ralph: "Don't steam me alligator. Don't steam me I said." They see him and they think he went down into a car. (He actually went down a gaping hole between the two cars. THe train stops by a water tower with the valve right over the car's hole where Ralph & Ed are in. Take a guess what happens here. Bugs turns on the water and the car fills up with water with Ralph & Ed swimming inside. Ha! Bugs evens goes to the ground and opens the car. Since this is a cartoon, the water doesn't fall otu and Ralph and Ed are swimming inside. Bugs: "Hey Mama! Look at the funny fish." Only then, does the water (along with Ralph & Ed fall out). Bugs sees a cop and hops onto the train. The cop yells at him to come out. Bugs leaves on the train. He goes onto the roof with Ralph & Ed chasing him only for them to be knocked off when the train htis a tunnel. Bugs is now happy as he sits on the top of the train...only for him to fall off as the train hits another tunnel. That's the end.

Credit goes to dailymotion.com.

Frank Gannucci · 02-19-2023, 08:49 PM

I should point out that in the beginning of the SNL skit, they recreate the traditional opening using cards and they say that Jackie Gleason, Art Carney and Audrey Meadows star in this but they obviously don’t. Also, if you watch the sketch you can obviously tell that Ralph doesn’t hit Alice for obvious reasons. Yet, that punch was enough for NBC to edit it out on Peacock. I will say it again. This sketch is very controversial.

02-10-2023, 08:25 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,071	Script of The Honeymooners from SNL: The Honeymooners Lost Episodes & more: Script of The Honeymooners from SNL: The Honeymooners Lost Episodes & Looney Tunes Short: “Half Fare Hare”: Air Date: Sat. 3/22/86 This skit is VERY CONTROVERSIAL. So much so that if you watch the episode on Peacock, the sketch is edited out. The reason is due to domestic violenece. As the air date indicates, this was shown just as the lost episodes were brand new to reruns and home video releases. Ralph Kramden is played by George Wendt Alice Kramden is played by Nora Dunn Ed Norton is played by Tony Michael Hall Ralph comes home and says that he is bowling tonight. Alice brings out tuna fish. Ralph is aghast. Alice says that her mambo lesson ran late and she didn't have time to fix dinner. Ralph is upset that his dinner was affected by mambo lessons. A knock on the door is heard. Ralph opens the door and Ed comes in and sets up a turntable near the front door. Him and Alice practice their dance moves. Ralph (hits Ed who stumbles into the record player): "This is too much. This time you pushed me too far." Alice: "The only thing that can push you is a bulldozer." Ralph: "One of these days, bang, zoom- to the moon, Alice! to the moon!" Alice says that he has been saying that for years and Ralph is all talk and no action. Ralph, in a shocking moment, finally smacks Alice right in the jaw knocking her to the floor and the crowd sadly cheers. This is the moment that prevents it from being on Peacock. Ralph kicks Ed out. As Alice comes to, Ralph says that he is sorry. Ralph: "I know we have sex once a year. Will you forgive me?" Alice, shockingly forgives Ralph just like that. As you can see, this is something that I am pretty sure that all of the main cast members of the Honeymooners probably didn't like. “Half-Fare Hare”: Release Date: Sat. 8/18/56 In this Looney Tuens short, apparantly Ralph Kramden & Ed Norton (and they are identified as such) are hobos on a train. They are played by the same actors who played Ralph Crumden and Ned Morton on the Honeymousers shorts. A train comes by a house. Bugs Bunny picks up a newspaper called the Daily Blaze. The top article is "LOCAL CARROT CROP FREEZE". One of the small articles underneath it is "Rabbits Leaving State In Droves." Bugs: "I don't have a drove. I guess I will have to settle for a choo-choo to Chattanooga. Come on Cahttanooga Choo-choo." Sure enough, there is a train called "Chattanooga Choo-choo" where Ralph & Ed as hobos are on the freight train. Ralph & Ed are starving. Ralph even tries to eat Ed's foot since he is going nuts. Ed stops himself but since Ed is also going nuts, HE tries to eat his foot but the train stops himself. Bugs comes on Ralph & Ed's car. Both: "It's food." They try to trick Bugs by saying that he is in time for dinner. Ralph & Ed just happen to have a huge pot with wood and water. Bugs still doesn't get what they are trying to do. Bugs: "What are we having for dinner?" Ralph: "It's a surprise." While the train goes into a tunnel and there is no light, Ed tries (and fails) to put Bugs in the boiling pot but he somehow confuses Ralph for Bugs and somehow is able to put Ralph in the pot. He doesn't realize this until the train comes out of the tunnel. Ralph comes out of the pot looking like a broiled lobster. Ralph is upset at Ed. Bugs tries to flee by climbing out of the car. They run after him but all three get stopped dead in their tracks by smoke. Bugs: "We must be going through Los-Ang-el-ez." Bugs lays down right by Ralph & Ed as they are wondering where he went. Bugs: "I went that way." Ralph & Ed run that way only to fall into a alligator farm tank car with alligators. Ha! THey try to flee. Ralph: "Don't steam me alligator. Don't steam me I said." They see him and they think he went down into a car. (He actually went down a gaping hole between the two cars. THe train stops by a water tower with the valve right over the car's hole where Ralph & Ed are in. Take a guess what happens here. Bugs turns on the water and the car fills up with water with Ralph & Ed swimming inside. Ha! Bugs evens goes to the ground and opens the car. Since this is a cartoon, the water doesn't fall otu and Ralph and Ed are swimming inside. Bugs: "Hey Mama! Look at the funny fish." Only then, does the water (along with Ralph & Ed fall out). Bugs sees a cop and hops onto the train. The cop yells at him to come out. Bugs leaves on the train. He goes onto the roof with Ralph & Ed chasing him only for them to be knocked off when the train htis a tunnel. Bugs is now happy as he sits on the top of the train...only for him to fall off as the train hits another tunnel. That's the end. Credit goes to dailymotion.com.

02-19-2023, 08:49 PM	#2
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,071	I should point out that in the beginning of the SNL skit, they recreate the traditional opening using cards and they say that Jackie Gleason, Art Carney and Audrey Meadows star in this but they obviously don’t. Also, if you watch the sketch you can obviously tell that Ralph doesn’t hit Alice for obvious reasons. Yet, that punch was enough for NBC to edit it out on Peacock. I will say it again. This sketch is very controversial.