An Honeymooners New Years Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners New Years Day:

(Ralph & Ed arrive just as the clock strikes 12a. They are soaked.)

All (yell): “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Head Raccoon: “What’s the meaning of you being soaked?”

Ed: “We decided to walk out of our room at 11:50p and when we saw the street, we decided to go the rest of the way by sewer. Only thing is a tide came in. Ralph looked like a whale.”

(Ralph is steamed. Alice’s mother comes by.)

Alice’s Mom: “A whale who made a fool of himself. I just filmed this and uploaded it to YouTube. Also Ralph, you are on CBS now.”

Ralph (yells): “TAKE IT DOWN!”

(Ralph chases Alice’s Mom on CBS. People try to separate them. The boys are humiliated.)

(A still wet Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Let's all sing. Are you ready Sammy Spear?"

All (sing): "Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!"

Jackie: "Happy New Year. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)