A Honeymooners Columbus Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners Columbus Day:

(Ralph & Ed are overlooking the East River. They are watching the Columbus Day reenactment.)

Ed: “Ralph, remember one year when we took part in the reenactment and you accidentally fell into the East River? Hahaha.”

Ralph (yells): “ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!”

Ed: “Take a look at Christopher Columbus. He looks like the real thing.”

Ralph: “To think that this happened 530 years ago.”

Ed: “That’s right.”

Ralph: “Boy, I am going to prove that Alice wrong. I’m going to get a real close shot of this reenactment. Do you know what I am going to do?”

Ed: “What?”

Ralph: “I’m going to climb onto the top of this fence here that is overlooking the water and get a real close shot of a lot of things.”

Ed: “Ralph, that is crazy.”

Ralph: “Shows you how much you know. I will do it.”

Ed: “Don’t you think that…”

Ralph: “So, you are saying that I’m too fat and too heavy to do it. Why don’t you just say it?”

Ed: “You just did.”

Ralph: “Alice May not be alone on the moon.”

(Ralph climbs onto the fence and then falls into the water.)

Man (yells): “HAHAHA! LOOK AT THE FAT DUMB WHALE!”

(The boys return to the Kramden apartment and Alice sees them. Ralph is still soaked.)

Alice: “Hello you two. Ralph, I saw what you did. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Ed: “‘My plan got all wet.’”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(A still soaked Jackie Gleason walks on stage Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)