Quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Will and Grace Fanatic · 08-05-2002, 10:11 PM

What are your favorite quotes from your favorite sitcoms?

PoeticStarry · 08-05-2002, 10:42 PM

I have 2 favorite quotes from my favorite characters and from my favorite sitcoms. But these are only my favorite funny ones.

Who's The Boss?

Quote:

Mona: Oh, no, maybe she’s got something there, don’t you see! This is kismet! Fate! Destiny that took two kids that kissed twenty years ago and reunited them.Out of all the housekeepers and all the employers in the world, some great force brought you two together!

Tony: Mona, it was you who introduced us.
Mona: See what I mean?

Angela: Well I know for a fact it wasn’t you, because I, unlike some people I know, remember the name of the first person I ever kissed and his name wasn’t Tony, it was Anthony.

Happy Days:

Quote:

Jenny: Wanna get drunk, fool around, have a few kids or any of the
above?
Roger: Jenny, what is the matter with you?
Jenny: Oh nothing I just had a few minutes to kill before my date

BulletTrain · 08-05-2002, 11:08 PM

On the contest episode of Seinfeld where kramker says " I'm out" after only being in his apartment for a short time after seeing the naked women across the street.

ClassicTV4Ever · 08-06-2002, 10:09 AM

"Who wants to be a skinny pencil anyway? I'd rather be a happy magic marker."
-Natalie, "The Facts of Life"

ClassicComedyFan2 · 08-06-2002, 10:52 AM

I have so many, not only from sitcoms, but Star Trek, cartoons, books, movies, my own stories and so on...but here are a few of my very favorite sitcom quotes:

“Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Rule number one: obey all rules. Rule number two: no writing on the walls.”
--Barney Fife (Andy Griffith Show)

Agent 86, Maxwell Smart: “You can't do that, Chief. Hymie's my friend!”
The Chief: “Your friend busted into my office, said he was going to kill me, smashed my desk to pieces, and almost strangled me with his bare hands!”
Agent 86, Maxwell Smart: “Well, I said he was my friend, not yours.”
--Max & Chief (Get Smart)

Smart: “Synthetic Islands? You mean to tell me that this island isn’t real?”
Siegfried: “OF course not, you STUPID! It’s portable!”
--Smart and Siegfried, (Get Smart)

Frasier: I do not have a fat face!
Niles: Oh, please. I keep wondering how long you're going to store those nuts for winter. (Frasier)

Frasier Crane: Have you any idea of appropriate baseball-watching attire?
Niles Crane: Obviously, you failed to detect the subtle diamond pattern in my tie. (Frasier)

Niles Crane: Well, as some illustrious person said, "popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity."
Frasier Crane: You just made that up, didn't you?
Niles Crane: Yes, but I stand by it. (Frasier)

Of course, there are many more...but I don't have them written down right now...

Brian Damage · 08-06-2002, 02:04 PM

The Honeymooners

Alice: I call you killer, because you slay me.
Ralph: And I'm callin' Bellvue because you're nuts!!!

Will and Grace Fanatic · 08-06-2002, 02:10 PM

Heres a few..

From Roseanne:

Roseanne:This is why some animals eat their young.

From Will and Grace:

Grace:That is not a compliment, a compliment is your sexy, you turn me on. Not one look at you proves I'm a queer.

JT · 08-06-2002, 03:32 PM

From "Kate & Allie:"

#102: "Allie Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
(Kate and Allie are talking about Kate's new roomate)
Kate: My mother's neighbor's daughter Haven is interested in renting your room.
Allie: Haven? Sounds like a character on Dynasty.

#101: "Kate Gets Dumped"
(Kate is talking to the woman her boyfriend left her for)
Woman: I'm getting hot in here....
Kate: Why don't you take off your coat and we can step outside?

From "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman:"

(Everybody is fussing and yelling when Grandpa is arrested for flashing again)
Mary: Ma, Pa, Cathy, Tom, EVERYBODY! Everything is gonna be alright! And afterwards, we're gonna all go down to the House of Pancakes!

#02: "Episode Two"
(Grandpa is fussing with George)
Grandpa: I'll never forget when I moved in here, and you took away my dog. He was a great dog. He was almost a thoroughbred......well now that you've taken all that you can get out of me, and I'm an old man, you're just gonna throw me away. Where the hell is the peanut butter!??!?!?!

From "The Ropers:"

#07: "The Party"
Helen: This has been the worst week of my life. I had a fight with Stanley.....I had a fight with him.....I had a fight with a toilet.....

From "Diff'rent Strokes:"

#03
Willis: She fainted because we're black.
Arnold: She did? Well it's nice to be noticed.

That's it for right now, lol.

DetectiveGriffin · 08-06-2002, 04:06 PM

all time personal fav, have to whip it out and use it as a sigline a couple times a year at least.

"If Im not back in 20 minutes, avenge my death."

Homer J. Simpson

SBTB Geek · 08-06-2002, 05:30 PM

"HELP ME GEEBUS!!!"- Homer Simpson

"Ewwwww!!!! like shopping at K-Mart!"- Jamie's girlfriend from, "Small Wonder"

08-05-2002, 10:11 PM	#1
Will and Grace Fanatic be happy Senior Member Join Date: Feb 15, 2002 Location: seattle, washington Posts: 2,746	Quotes What are your favorite quotes from your favorite sitcoms?
	__________________ love is love

08-06-2002, 10:52 AM	#5
ClassicComedyFan2 Coolicious! Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 28, 2001 Location: AL, United States, Alpha Quadrant Posts: 698	I have so many, not only from sitcoms, but Star Trek, cartoons, books, movies, my own stories and so on...but here are a few of my very favorite sitcom quotes: “Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Rule number one: obey all rules. Rule number two: no writing on the walls.” --Barney Fife (Andy Griffith Show) Agent 86, Maxwell Smart: “You can't do that, Chief. Hymie's my friend!” The Chief: “Your friend busted into my office, said he was going to kill me, smashed my desk to pieces, and almost strangled me with his bare hands!” Agent 86, Maxwell Smart: “Well, I said he was my friend, not yours.” --Max & Chief (Get Smart) Smart: “Synthetic Islands? You mean to tell me that this island isn’t real?” Siegfried: “OF course not, you STUPID! It’s portable!” --Smart and Siegfried, (Get Smart) Frasier: I do not have a fat face! Niles: Oh, please. I keep wondering how long you're going to store those nuts for winter. (Frasier) Frasier Crane: Have you any idea of appropriate baseball-watching attire? Niles Crane: Obviously, you failed to detect the subtle diamond pattern in my tie. (Frasier) Niles Crane: Well, as some illustrious person said, "popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity." Frasier Crane: You just made that up, didn't you? Niles Crane: Yes, but I stand by it. (Frasier) Of course, there are many more...but I don't have them written down right now...
	__________________ The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. ~Author Unknown Optimism is the foundation of courage. ~Nicholas Murray Butler Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. ~Author Unknown It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. ~ John Cassis ~

08-06-2002, 02:04 PM	#6
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	The Honeymooners Alice: I call you killer, because you slay me. Ralph: And I'm callin' Bellvue because you're nuts!!!
	__________________ The Key to the Kingdom of Heaven: John 3:3 *Money Doesn't Buy Happiness...But I'd Rather Cry in My Private Jet*

08-06-2002, 02:10 PM	#7
Will and Grace Fanatic be happy Senior Member Join Date: Feb 15, 2002 Location: seattle, washington Posts: 2,746	Heres a few.. From Roseanne: Roseanne:This is why some animals eat their young. From Will and Grace: Grace:That is not a compliment, a compliment is your sexy, you turn me on. Not one look at you proves I'm a queer.
	Last edited by Will and Grace Fanatic; 08-06-2002 at 02:20 PM.

08-05-2002, 11:08 PM	#3
BulletTrain Seinfeld+SimpsonsFan Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 03, 2002 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 863	On the contest episode of Seinfeld where kramker says " I'm out" after only being in his apartment for a short time after seeing the naked women across the street.

08-06-2002, 10:09 AM	#4
ClassicTV4Ever Coming November 27th! Senior Member Join Date: May 02, 2002 Location: TV Land! Posts: 1,421	"Who wants to be a skinny pencil anyway? I'd rather be a happy magic marker." -Natalie, "The Facts of Life"

08-06-2002, 03:32 PM	#8
JT Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 29, 2001 Location: USA Posts: 7,223	From "Kate & Allie:" #102: "Allie Doesn't Live Here Anymore" (Kate and Allie are talking about Kate's new roomate) Kate: My mother's neighbor's daughter Haven is interested in renting your room. Allie: Haven? Sounds like a character on Dynasty. #101: "Kate Gets Dumped" (Kate is talking to the woman her boyfriend left her for) Woman: I'm getting hot in here.... Kate: Why don't you take off your coat and we can step outside? From "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman:" (Everybody is fussing and yelling when Grandpa is arrested for flashing again) Mary: Ma, Pa, Cathy, Tom, EVERYBODY! Everything is gonna be alright! And afterwards, we're gonna all go down to the House of Pancakes! #02: "Episode Two" (Grandpa is fussing with George) Grandpa: I'll never forget when I moved in here, and you took away my dog. He was a great dog. He was almost a thoroughbred......well now that you've taken all that you can get out of me, and I'm an old man, you're just gonna throw me away. Where the hell is the peanut butter!??!?!?! From "The Ropers:" #07: "The Party" Helen: This has been the worst week of my life. I had a fight with Stanley.....I had a fight with him.....I had a fight with a toilet..... From "Diff'rent Strokes:" #03 Willis: She fainted because we're black. Arnold: She did? Well it's nice to be noticed. That's it for right now, lol.

08-06-2002, 04:06 PM	#9
DetectiveGriffin Sankontessou! Senior Member Join Date: Aug 08, 2001 Location: North Central Indiana Posts: 1,288	all time personal fav, have to whip it out and use it as a sigline a couple times a year at least. "If Im not back in 20 minutes, avenge my death." Homer J. Simpson

08-06-2002, 05:30 PM	#10
SBTB Geek Smooth Moderator Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 21, 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,004	"HELP ME GEEBUS!!!"- Homer Simpson "Ewwwww!!!! like shopping at K-Mart!"- Jamie's girlfriend from, "Small Wonder"