Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “Safety Award”:

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: “The Safety Award"

Episode #144 (Syndicated episode #34)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Please Leave The Premises." On some tapes, it is attached to episodes #30-36 of the Classic 39. On some tapes, it is attached to "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business.") On some tapes, it is attached to "On Stage", "A Matter of Life & Death", "The Sleepwalker" & "Pal O' Mine."
Laserdisc: Attached to “Oh My Aching Back”, “The Babysitter”, “$99,000 Answer”, “Ralph Kramden Inc.”, “Mind Your Own Business” (aka “Ralph’s Big Mouth”), “Alice & The Blonde”, “The Bensonhurst Bomber”, “Dial J For Janitor” & “A Man’s Pride.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #33 - 39 of the classic 39, with the original opening and closings of the show, along with an edited 35 Anniversary Honeymooners special that aired on CBS. Paramount edited the lost episode clips that were originally apart of this special. On the HD Blu-Ray set, it is attached to episodes #34-39 of the classic 39, the full, 1-hour musical special The Honeymooners: The Adoption from 1966, the 35th and 50th network TV anniversary specials with the 35th (but not the 50th) edited to not include lost episode material as well as other material to make it flow better and two versions of "The Bensonhurst Bomber" (one has the original sponsor ads) and two versions of "A Man's Pride" (one has the original sponsor ads.)

"The Safety Award":

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e34

People from Universal Magazine capture Ralph's picture as Ralph is leaving the bus company for the day. Ralph makes a very unique pose that the people don't like. Ralph says that the reason he made that pose is because they took a picture of Marilyn Monroe that way. One of the men responds: "You get into a bathing suit of Marilyn’s and we will take your picture that way." Ralph isn't amused. The picture is taken. One of the men leave. Ralph is talking to the other one as he is waiting for Ed. They talk over the Safety award that Ralph is supposed to get (it's not an award that's given out all the time.) One of the things that Ralph says about being a bus driver is that they are brave in the face of danger ALL the time. Sure! Ralph brings up a story about a lady bringing a big dog on the bus and how dogs aren't allowed. The lady said he is worth a lot of money, so Ralph said if that's the case, let him take a cab. Ed comes by. The man interviews Ed. He asks him: "How close are you two." Ed: "I am as close as anybody can get to Ralph." Ed makes a fat joke that Ralph doesn't like. The man leaves. That person along with the other guy will be at city hall to watch Ralph get his award. Ralph asks Freddie Muller if he can borrow his car tomorrow to go to city hall. Fred obliges and leaves Ralph with the keys. Ed says that he hoped Ralph didn't get into an accident today on the bus so he crossed his fingers on both hands all day which made it hard for him to shovel. Ed asks Ralph in the 15 years he's been with the company, how is it that he never got into an accident while driving the bus? Ralph responds by saying: "A group of men are picked to do a job. Trained in the same fashion as each other. There's always one man in the group that stands far in front of the others." Ed: "yeah, I guess you are right there Ralph. If you stood out anymore in front, you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus." They leave.

Wait a minute. Ralph is getting an award for being a safe bus driver and Ed & Ralph said that Ralph never got into an accident on the bus yet in "Lawsuit", Ralph not only got into an accident while driving a bus, he also sued the company because he felt they were responsible for the accident that caused his leg injury. And in the episode "Two Men On A Horse", Alice says that Ralph has been held up six times while driving the bus and the sixth time, the crooks stole $5 and the bus.

The morning of the ceremony, Ralph is bothering Alice on where is his tie and belt. Alice tells him. Alice: "Stop being so nervous." Ralph: "I am not nervous. You're just saying that to make me nervous." Ralph is nervous though. He puts on his tie like it was a belt, but sees his mistake. Alice shows Ralph her dress that she will wear and goes back into the bedroom. Ed comes down and asks to borrow Ralph's handkerchief. Ralph: "Remember, it's for showing not blowing." Ed helps put on Ralph's tie and accidentally chokes him while doing it. Trixie comes down and she has the exact same dress as Alice. Alice comes out and notices it. Ralph: "Do those dresses look alike?" Ed: "Alike? They are like the Bobbsie twins?" Neither one of them want to take their dresses off, so they say they will not go and leave. Ralph is now more nervous. He asks Ed to go upstairs and talk Trixie into taking that dress off. He leaves. Ralph gets Alice out. Alice says that she will not go. Ralph wants her too. Alice: "How do you think I will feel when the photographers are taking pictures and they notice that I have the same dress as Trixie? Everyone will laugh at me." Why wouldn't they laugh at Trixie too? Isn't Alice acting like Ralph here? Ralph says that it is stupid for the girls to break a long friendship over a dress. Alice sees the light and admits she was childish. Trixie comes down and they both apologize. Trixie will ear her dress but her coat will cover it. Ralph puts on his jacket. Ed comes down with his jacket and Ed's & Ralph's jackets are the same. Ralph: "Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu sneak! I am not going to leave this house unless you take that coat off." Isn't Ralph being a hypocrite here?

The gang gets ready to leave and this time Ralph is wearing a different jacket. He must have changed jackets. A part of Trixie's shoe fell off so now she will have to go back and put on another pair. Ralph: "This is a plot against me! We are late." Alice suggests that they get the car and drive it over here. That will save time. Ralph tries to get the car. Ed reveals that some people were going to put a plaque on Ralph's bus saying: 'You are now driving with the World's Safest Bus Driver: Ralph Kramden.' Ralph came up with the idea. A big car crash is heard. Ralph must have gotten into an accident and he did with an old man. They both want a policeman. Ed said that the worst thing that Ralph can get is a policeman because of the award he's going to get. Ralph agrees so he says to the man that it was his fault and they don't need one and Ralph gives him his name and address. The old man leaves. Ralph is mad. The accident wasn't his fault but they go to city hall but not before Ed offers some encouraging words to Ralph that he got from the sewer: "When the tides of life have turned against you and the current upsets your boat, don't waste those tears on what might have been. Just lay on your back and float."

At city hall, Ralph is ready to receive the award and Universal Magazine is ready to take his photo along with Alice and the Nortons. They get their photo taken. After the award presentation, Ralph is told that he will meet the mayor. Alice is proud. The person who is ready to present the award is late. He got into a traffic accident. The person is Judge "Hollering" Hurdle. He is known for his 50 minute lectures & $50 fines. He arrives and it's the old man whose car got into an accident with Ralph's car. Hurdle: "Is this the man that is getting the award?" Ralph: "Humina Humina Humina!" Hurdle says that he got into an accident with Ralph and he was under the impression that the accident was Ralph's fault (he thought he didn't stick out his hand to make a turn). His wife said he did and he failed to see it so the accident was his fault. Ralph is relieved. Hurdle: "I am fining myself $50." Ed: "Don't forget the 50 minute lecture." Ralph gets the award and makes a short speech in which he says things like a bus driver doesn't have an easy job and that the safety of the people is first in their minds when they do their job, he's humble and he's not worthy of it but he does smile when the photographers take his picture with the award. After Ralph says his speech, everybody in the room goes upstairs to meet the mayor.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.