Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Principle of The Thing" & "Songs & Witty Sayings":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Principle of The Thing" & "Songs & Witty Sayings":

Episode #106 (Syndicated episode #47)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Alice's Aunt Ethel."
DVD: Attached to "Alice's Aunt Ethel," "Glow Worm Cleaning" & "The Hypnotist." On The Best of Lost Episodes Volume 1, it is attached to “Stand-In For Murder” (’55 version), “A Weighty Problem”, “A Little Man Who Wasn’t There” & “Songwriters.” On the Restored Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Songs & Witty Sayings”, “Boys & Girls Together”, “Letter To The Boss” (‘’55 version), “Stand-In For Murder” (’55 version), “Double Anniversary Party”, “The Check-Up” & “Forgot To Register.”
Air Date: Sat. 4/30/55

"Principle of The Thing":

The Kramdens' apartment is going to pot--the pipes leak, the walls are cracking, the sink won't work, doorknobs are falling off. Ralph is going mad. Ed Norton comes in and says: "You are now looking at the mystery guest on What's My Line?" Ralph: "This (Ed) is another thing that needs fixing." Ed turns on the faucet and says that there is the trouble: No water. Ralph: "Did you hear that? He said that there is no water..." (yells): "I KNOW THAT THERE IS NO WATER." Ed: "Now you are getting the word from an expert." Ha! Ed, with a stethoscope, listens to the water in the wall and as he is listening to it, some sounds are heard. You can tell that the sounds that Ed is listening to are not real and plus why should we hear them when Ed is the only one that has a stethoscope? Ed: "You got a pretty sick pipe Ralph." Ed lies down with a blanket to fix the pipe. Ralph: "You wouldn't want a pair of pajamas while you are down there, would you?" Ed's work causes the pipe from the wall to burst and Ralph gets a face full of water. Ed says that the problem is solved. All Ralph has to do is put the sink in the middle of the wall. Ralph is now madder than ever. He says he will sue the landlord.

While in the poolroom, Ralph tries to seek out Shaughnessy, the neighborhood lawyer. While waiting Ralph & Ed play pool. Their usual pool game hi-jinks follow. Shaughnessey comes by. Ralph tries to best explain his situation. Only thing is, he doesn't say that he (meaning Ralph) is the one with the problem but his friend is. The reason why Ralph substituted his name is because he learned that if he did, Shaughnessey would ask that he would be paid because Ralph is getting his advice from him for his (meaning Ralph's) situation whereas by substituting the names, the lawyer would not ask for money. Shaughnessey advises him to withhold his rent until the landlord makes repairs. Shaughnessey also automatically knows that Ralph is the one with the problem, so he asks Ralph to give him a check in the morning. Ralph spends the rent money on paint, wallpaper and a new bathtub. Ralph shows the wallpaper that is too gaudy for Norton. Alice even describes it as: "early Halloween." I couldn't really get a picture perfect look at the wallpaper because the show is in black and white. But, the look I got from it, I can determine that it is stupid. Can you imagine what would happen if the group from "Trading Spaces" or "While You Were Out" decided to dress up somebody's home with that wallpaper. Those shows would probably get a bad rapport. Alice: "The only thing that is crazier than that wallpaper is the person who picked it out (meaning Ralph.) Ralph: "This wallpaper is an exclusive design. Nobody else has it and I will give you the word from the store manager: 'If you find this wallpaper in any other house, I will give you your money back.'" Gee, shouldn't that tell Ralph that the wallpaper is stupid? Ralph tells her that a clause in his lease allows him to withhold rent money and use it for repairs. Alice leaves but not before seeing the new tub. Ralph: "At last, I got a bathtub that I could be comfy in." Alice: "What did you order, a round one?" Ha! Ed helps out with the paint. Ralph tries to climb the ladder to paint a spot on the ceiling but because of his weight, he ends up falling down. Ed advised him not to climb up the ladder but of course, Ralph didn't listen.

Ralph papers the apartment. A painter comes in and undoes the damage. He wonders how the person, who did the wallpaper, got the wallpaper on the ice box. Ralph mentions the story but as he is mentioning it, he slips by saying that he managed to get the paper on the box, but corrects himself by saying that he didn't to save face as far as the painter is concerned. Painter: "If you ask me, the guy who did that wallpaper should be run out of town." He leaves. Alice loves the remodeling job. Finally the showdown with the landlord. He comes and he is played by Jack Benny which gets an applause from the crowd. Two Jacks in on the same set? Ralph rips into the landlord by saying that the landlord squeezes a penny so hard that when he's through, both heads and tails appear on the same side. Okay, that does not make sense. Ralph rails at him for being a cheapskate and a tightwad, and tells him that a clause in his lease allows him to withhold rent money and use it for repairs. The landlord tells Ralph that another clause in the lease allows the landlord to cancel the lease entirely, and that Ralph is now an ex-tenant. The landlord says he'll renew the lease if Ralph agrees to pay an additional fifteen dollars per month--a figure that reflects the increased value of the apartment now that Ralph has fixed it up. D'oh! Not something that Ralph wanted to hear.

Episode #107 (Syndicated episode #100 & #101)
TV: In two parts.
VCR: Attached to "Norton Moves In." On the rarely seen Readers Digest tape, it is attached to “Little Man Who Wasn’t There” & “Suspense.”
DVD: Attached to "Norton Moves In" & "Income Tax." On the Restored Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Principal of The Thing”, “Boys & Girls Together”, “Letter To The Boss” (‘’55 version), “Stand-In For Murder” (’55 version), “Double Anniversary Party”, “The Check-Up” & “Forgot To Register.”
Color Episode Title: "Life Upon The Wicked Stage."
Lost Episode Title: "Songs & Witty Sayings."
Air Date: Sat. 5/14/55

"Songs & Witty Sayings":

Ralph meets Ed for lunch near a local manhole. He calls up Norton. The gang down in the sewer is having a birthday party for Alphonse. Ralph doesn't want to come down there (he probably wouldn't be able to fit in the manhole). Ed says that they are organizing the party games now. The first one is: "Knights on Horseback." Let me get this straight. A bunch of grown men are playing birthday party games (something you would normally see a bunch of five-year-olds do) and the first one is a game called: "Knights on Horseback"? Taken out of context, the game sounds really gay. Ralph calls Norton up again, so Ed comes up. Ralph and Norton have entered the annual amateur night at the Halsey Theater, where the grand prize is two hundred dollars. Ed is planning on using his share of the money to go down to Florida to get away from his mother-in-law. Either Ed is stupid for thinking that it costs only $100 to visit Florida or prices were really low back then. Ralph and Ed's act is a comedy act which consists of a mind-reading bit, jokes and a Laurel and Hardy impersonation, and a song-and-dance routine. Ed says that he would like to add another bit. This is something that he has said in war bond rallies, bar mitzvahs etc. Ed says a story that is called: "Our Friends The Animals." The story is so bad for their act that telling that story in the act would guarantee them a trip to the nut house. Ralph and Ed rehearse the mind-reading bit then the jokes. Ralph's first joke is: "What has six legs and sings?" Ed: "Outside of the McGuire sisters, I don't know." I wonder if Mark McGuire is related to them. After Ralph yells at Ed for scaring him (he said that there was a six-legged insect on his sandwich), he clams down. He said that every time he gets Norton for lunch, there is a celebration of some kind down there. Ralph: "If I did that on my job, I would be fired in a minute." Ed: "Who are they going to get to replace us?" A drunken guy comes out of the sewer to an ovation form the crowd. According to Ed, he shows up at every one of their parties.

At home, Ralph finds out that Trixie and Alice have entered in the contest. Alice is a Hawaiian hula girl and Trixie is a sailor. Ralph says that they are rehearsing for The Bellevue Follies. Ralph insults Trixie, so she leaves. Ralph says that Alice doesn't have any talent and in response to the statement that Alice made about her mom not appearing in silent pictures, he said that she didn't appear in silent films because she couldn't keep silent. Ha! Alice goes into the bedroom. Ed finds out about this too when he comes in. Ralph and Ed talk about the girls being involved in the contest. Ed is more understanding since Trixie had been in burlesque, he tells Ralph, and has the tradition of the theater to uphold. Alice is supposed to come out, but Audrey forgets her cue. So Art and Jackie ad-lib. One of the ad-libs is Ed saying that Trixie was the original girl in the Froogle Street sketch. Ed: "She certainly was." Jackie has enough and tells Alice (in his Ralph Kramden character) to come out. Alice says that Ralph is afraid of competition. Ralph makes a bet. If they lose to the girls, Ralph will give her $10 and he will eat her grass skirt. Alice says that they will lose because they have a finish that will wow the crowd. She turns on the record player, does a handstand (with the help of Ed), and sings in Italian to the crowd's approval. I heard that in the Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, that while they were rehearsing this moment, Ray Bloch didn't have any music and he was surprised that Audrey was really going to sing while doing a headstand. Nobody knew that Aud was a soprano except Jackie.

At 1am, Ralph and Ed are rehearsing. The first act is the mind-reading act with Ed in his Swami character. Ralph: "O Swami, what is this that I am holding in my hand. I don't want any ifs, ands or buts." Ed: "Buts. Buts. It is a pack of cigarettes." Ralph: "Don't say 'buts.' The crowd will think that there is some sort of trick to this." Ed suggests doing something called: "Sockerroonie" (sp?). So he dresses up as Ray Bloch and asks Ralph to guess who he is. They rehearse their song-and-dance act, and Alice and Garrity, are anything but a captive audience. Ralph argues with Alice by saying that she isn't behind him and asks her what he has behind him, but then he realizes he set himself up for Alice to say that he has a big butt, so he yells: “DON'T YOU DARE!” After that, Ralph and Ed rehearse the "restaurant sketch." Ralph: "I'm glad I don't have anything to do with you (Ed) to often." Gee, that doesn't seem to be true. Norton does a Stan Laurel impersonation as a customer who wants a piece of custard pie, and Ralph plays the waiter a la Oliver Hardy, is a priceless tribute by Carney and Gleason to the two great funny men. Ralph wants to rehearse every bit of the scene (which includes hitting Ed in the face with a pie). Ed says he doesn't want the pie in the face, but Ralph says for him to roll with the flow. Question: Why does Ralph want to hit Ed in the face with a pie in rehearsal, when he can hit him once in the face during their live act? Ed obliges, but ducks and Alice (who was coming in) gets the pie.

At the Halsey Theater, the host says that this is their 23rd annual show and has "introduced" to the entertainment world such people as John Cameron Swayze (sp?). I think that that guy is the dad of Patrick Swayze. The first act is a flop (it was done by a delivery boy.) Alice and Trixie wow them (but they didn't do their finale.) When you watch the girls doing their act, you can tell that by looking on their faces that they are knowing that in reality they weren't doing to well while performing this (despite the men hollering things like: "I CAN'T SAND IT! YOU'RE WONDERFUL!") Ralph and Ed do their first bit and puts Ralph puts on the blindfold on Ed (who is in his Swami outfit), he flashes his hand in his face. Ed: "I can't see anything, except for the hand that is in my face." Ralph "tightens" it. Norton can't even guess the first object in the mind-reading routine, Ralph bombs as a stand up comic, and the song and dance is a dismal flop (in the middle of it, Ed reads a poem that bombs) and at the end a hook grabs Ed and Ralph but the left hook grabs Ralph (who was on the right of the stage) and the other hook grabs Ed (who was on the left of the stage). Funny ending.

At home, Ralph and Ed are upset. Ralph: "After tonight, the manager says he won't even let me in to see the movie anymore." Alice and Trixie come in with Chinese food (they won the contest.) Ralph (to the girls): "Don't rub it in. You are both in danger if you try." Trixie (sarcastically): "The boys are good losers." She said that even though Ed, in this scene, didn't complain once. Alice reminds Ralph of the fact that Ralph said he would eat her grass skirt. Ed: "Want some soy sauce on it Ralph?" Ralph (yells to Ed and Trixie): "GET OUT!" Despite them getting kicked out, Alice remains happy.

On the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, we see the curtain call. Jackie comes out and introduces the main cast. He also says that we had the honor of seeing Audrey getting pied for the first time in her life. He than says goodnight.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.

[Frank Gannucci]

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