Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Brother-In-Law" & "Songwriters":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Brother-In-Law" & "Songwriters":

Episode #90
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "What's Her Name?" On some tapes, it is attached to "Battle of The Sexes", "Lawsuit" & "What's Her Name?"
DVD: Attached to "Santa and the Bookies” (’53 version) & "Peacemaker." On the remastered Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Songwriters”, “Teamwork Beats The Clock”, “Santa & The Bookies” (’54), “Kramden Vs. Norton” & “A Promotion.”
Color Episode Title: "Without Reservations."
Lost Episode Title: "Brother-In-Law."
Air Date: Sat. 11/27/54

"Brother-In-Law":

According to John K's Book, the episode is officially titled: "The Brother-In-Law."

This episode opens up with Trixie coming over and talking to Alice. She said that Ray Bloch (the orchestra leader in real-life on the old Jackie Gleason Show and The Honeymooners) knows Ed when he worked in the sewer with him. Oh boy! Trixie: Once you work in the sewer, it's impossible to keep a secret." Alice says that her brother Frank is coming to dinner. He hates Ralph and vice-versa because of what Frank did to Ralph during their WPA days. Both of them wanted that whistle and flag job or something like that. Frank needed a couple of bucks to get that job and borrowed it from Ralph. When Ralph heard about that, he was upset. Ed comes down and then Trixie leaves. Ed gets told of Frank coming over and raids the fridge. When Ralph comes home, wearing a loud tie (one with daisies on it) and catches Ed in the act, he says that Ed can keep on eating whatever he has been eating because that's all Ralph had to eat since Thanksgiving. (This episode was done live on 11/27/54). When Ralph tastes the sauce that Alice made, he knows that Frank is coming. Ralph: "He's not coming Alice. Your brother Frank is not coming." According to Ralph, Frank is "a moocher, a swindler, and a bum!" Alice gets surprised that Ralph is still upset at Frank. During all of this, Ed keeps on asking Ralph for some food. Ralph gets mad at Ed for doing this eventually. They would replay this scene in "The Worry Wart" when Ralph is worried because the IRS wrote to him asking him to come over to the office the next day. Ed later gets kicked out for laughing when he hears Alice saying that they have to go to the Fat Man's Shop to get suits for Ralph. Ralph tries to throw the sauce out the window. Ralph says that he is the boss and that Alice is nothing. Ralph: "Bid deal! You are the boss over nothing."

Frank comes in and antagonizes Ralph over dinner. When Frank goes into the bathroom to wash, Ralph complains about some of the things that Frank has done in the past. During this, Alice mentions Frank is a war veteran and because of that he hurt his back and because of that he can't hold a steady job. Ralph: "You're right Alice. The war did give him a lot of back trouble on account he was hiding behind the draft board in those darn cellars, that's why." Ralph has always asked them for money and has never paid them back. Frank hears it and offers to pay them back when he gets a fortune from that old hotel that no one has used for years in New Jersey called "The Crestwood Hotel." He plans on buying it because a new highway is supposed to be built. When he asks them for money for this, Ralph and Alice say no. Frank leaves, but not before he almost accidentally tries to go out the bedroom window. That was a blooper one of which Jackie's (as Ralph) had to ad-lib and say: "This is the door." He leaves. Ralph says that Frank's idea isn't crazy at all and wants to buy the hotel for himself. He goes to the window (which is still open from the earlier scene) and calls Ed down. Since this episode was supposedly done with a November "theme" and set in New York, either the Kramdens and Frank either braced the cold weather or had real hot body temperatures for them to endure the cold weather in November.

At the hotel, it looks really in bad condition. There are a ton of spider webs and dust. Ralph, of course, only carries the keys, while his future bellboy, Ed Norton, carries everything else. Ed: "Maybe we can rent this place for a Bela Lugosi picture." Ralph says that they can knock out those cobwebs. Alice: "They are looking like they holdup the wall." Alice also says: "I think it would be easier if we built the highway and the other people who were going to build the highway to cleanup the hotel." The girls don't want to clean up. When Alice says that she will only clean it up with him, Ralph acts like a 4-year-old and starts stamping his feet which causes pieces of the building to fall. The girls start to clean up while the boys dust. Ed accidentally gets dust on Ralph's face. Ralph's response? Hitting Ed softly with something that's on the desk. The girls scream when they see a mouse. Ed offers to get it and when Ralph sees it on the couch; he dives on the couch only to get full of dust. Ed: "With all this dust around, the mouse is bound to start coughing." Ralph is mad at Ed and looks like he wants to fight Ed. Why is he upset at Ed for?

They get the hotel cleaned up. Ralph is the manager. He rings the bell once for Trixie. Trixie is the maid. He rings the bell twice for Alice, the cook (who's wearing an apron that says: "Genius at Work!" He rings the bell three times for Ed, but Ed doesn't come down and says from upstairs, that he will come down when Ralph says that he wants the bellboy who's also his partner. When he slams a door upstairs, he accidentally makes a plant fall down near the desk. That was a blooper which causes Jackie (as Ralph) to ad-lib and say: "That will cost him a pretty penny." Ralph complies. Ed comes down. Ed's uniform doesn't even fit him. Ed: "How can I get out of this chicken-outfit?" Alice calls Ralph Conrad Hilton. The girls go to their posts. Ralph and Ed go over a system in which if a guest comes and asks for assistance to their room, Ralph will ring the bell four times. He will ring the bell five times if the guest wants ice water. He will ring the bell six times if the guest wants a pack of cigarettes. He will ring the bell seven times if the guest wants paper. You can tell that this idea is terrible. Ed wants to be the owner. So Ralph gives him the "bell test." (i.e. which amount of rings equals what.) He gets every one right. Ralph changes the rules as he goes along by saying that Ed failed when he got the eight rings incorrect. If Ralph rings the bell that many times, he wants the chef, the maid and a pack of cigars. Ed leaves. The first guest of the Crestwood Hotel, George Petrie (probably the only time he played himself) comes in. He wants a pack of cigars along with assistance. Ralph is stumped as to how many times he thinks that he should ring the bell. He rings it more then seven times causing Ed to come out and say: "Could you give me a hint?" George is a surveyor with the highway-construction crew -- who tells Ralph and Norton that the highway is going to pass right buy and right near the hotel. Ralph is happy about the prospect about making a load of money. But the hotel isn't going to pass right in front of the hotel as they thought, but over it. It's an elevated highway. I guess the hotel would be useless now. Ed rings the bell multiple times saying it's time to abandon ship. Just like that, the episode is over. No instance where Ralph apologizes whatsoever.

Episode #91
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Double Anniversary Party." On some tapes, it is attached to "Catch A Star", "Quiz Show" ('52 version) & "Double Anniversary Party."
DVD: Attached to "Battle of The Sexes" & "Catch A Star." On the Best of Lost Episodes DVD Vol. 1, it is attached to "Stand-In for Murder" (’55), "Principle of The Thing", "A Weighty Problem" & "A Little Man Who Wasn't There." On the remastered Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “The Brother-In-Law”, “Teamwork Beats The Clock”, “Santa & The Bookies” (’54), “Kramden Vs. Norton” & “A Promotion.”
Air Date: Sat. 12/11/54

"Songwriters":

According to John K's Book, the episode is officially titled: "The Songwriters."

At the Raccoon lodge, Ralph and Ed are playing ping-pong with a couple of other Raccoon players. After Ralph yells: "I HAVE GOT IT! I HAVE GOT IT!", he somehow ends up with the ball in his mouth. Ed says that he could go on the Ed Sullivan Show doing that. The Raccoon meeting is called to order as the Raccoons recite the Raccoon Pledge in Latin. After the pledge, Ed wants to know what it means. Oh God! We found out that the Raccoon Pledge was made by their founding Father Herman Hildebrand even though in "The Hypnotist" it was Toots Mondello. It turns out that Herman made some kind of drugs. It is also found out that Ed wants to fix the grandfather clock in the lodge and he wants to fix it during the meeting to show the Raccoons that it works. He does at approximately 8:57pm. He fixes it and when Ralph tries to talk, the gong in the clock rings for 9pm and swings thereby looking like some person is controlling it. I'm pretty sure it didn't ring three minutes later. Ralph gets upset and "unfixes" it. Mr. Alfredo comes by and asks the Raccoons to sing the Raccoon Marching Song which goes like this:

In the west and in the east
There's a mighty little beast
For courage there is no other.
When the chips are all at stake
The Raccoon will never break
We are proud to call him brother.
So with our noble tails entwined
And a spirit strong of mind
We'll have hearts that cannot melt.
In the forest, in the trees
On the land or seven seas
We're brothers under the pelt.
Raccoons, the noble Raccoons

The audience didn't even clap or laugh at the end. The instrumental version of that song would be played in later episodes. After everyone leaves, Ed plays "Suwannee River" on the piano and Mr. Alfredo says that Ed Norton has plenty of talent and musical ability. He also knows that Ralph is a good lyric writer. He leaves just as Ralph talks about his latest idea. He and Ed are going to become songwriters. Ed fixes the grandfather clock. He says that by fixing it, he saved the Lodge $3. They leave, just as the clock rings. As it rings where it actually causes nearby things to fall and break. The clock also breaks more now than ever. Watch and you will find out what I mean. So in turn, Ed costed the lodge money. At home, a piano is delivered and Alice says to Trixie that it is a refrigerator seems to be VERY BIG for it to be a refrigerator. Trixie leaves. Ralph enters and asks Alice to close her eyes as Ralph opens the package. It's a piano and Alice demands it to be returned back. They argue. Ralph says that he always wrote great poetry. Alice recites some of his poetry: "Ape! Ape! Open the gate! Here comes Alice the Grad-u-ate!" Some poetry. Ralph says he spent the whole $80 (the Christmas Club money) to pay for the piano. (He bought it on credit.) Alice is upset since they have 15 relatives that they have to give presents for. Alice says that she is going to take it back. Ralph throws out the window the store information so Alice won't find out what store it belongs to only to have Ed pick it up and give it to Alice. Ralph kicks Ed out.

That night, Ralph and Ed are getting very tired rehearsing. Ed warms up to every song playing by playing "Suwannee River." He would do the same thing in the "$99,000 Answer." Ralph says some of the lyrics that he wrote which include: "Ears like a bunny." Ralph: "Maybe we can make it an Easter song." Ed is very tired. Ed: "I got to get up in the morning. I got a job to do." Ralph says that he does to and he has responsibilities. If he falls asleep, he's liable to run into something. Ed says that if he falls asleep, he will drown. Ralph says some more of the lyrics that he wrote that include: "Baby dear, what are you crying for? Do your dad-dy a big favor!" McGarrity complains and so does Alice who recites some of the bad lyrics that she heard Ralph sing. Ralph gets upset. Alice goes to bed. Ralph and Ed rehearse some more with little success. McGarrity's wife vacuums saying that with Ralph living in the building, she has to sleep during the day. Her voice is like Trixie is. Ralph complains about a person moving garbage cans and McGarrity banging his pipes. Those two interruptions give Ralph some lyrics which go: "The garbage cans go clang! The radiator goes bang!" Ralph: "It's going to be hit."

At a publisher's office, Ed plays the piano while Ralph attempts to say the lyrics. Ed warms up by playing "Suwannee River." The publisher thinks that "Suwannee River"'s notes are being rewritten and he mentions "Suwannee River"'s writer, Steven Foster. Ralph would forget that Steve wrote that song in "$99,000 Answer." Ralph explains to him that Ed does that to warm up. A pianist comes by and plays the song just as Ralph and Ed write the lyrics which go like this: "The garbage can goes clang/the radiator goes bang/and the vacuum makes a racket too. Put them all together and what have you got/that's my love song to you." Bob Manning wrote this song before this episode was made. Don't the lyrics seem a bit outdated? The publisher doesn't know what to think Ed leaves. The publisher says that he likes the music but the lyrics need to be changed and that a pro lyric writer would write new lyrics to Ed's music. Instead of being selfish, Ralph steps aside for Norton's sake.

At home, Ralph is upset about what he did. Alice is happy that Ralph did something nice for Norton. Ed Norton comes in with a radio saying that they are going to play a song on CBS radio. Ralph goes into the bedroom but comes out when he hears his and Ed's song on the radio. By the way, the guy on the radio says that the song is being sung by a guy named Bob Manning. Norton says to Ralph that he values his friendship with Ralph more than a musical career, and unbeknownst to Ralph, takes their song to another publisher, who loves it so much he has it recorded. Ralph says that they will be millionaires! It turns out that Ralph's idea worked sort of. Of course, they don't become millionaires!

There’s are some people that say that this episode should have been made as the last episode of the Honeymooners due to an idea of Ralph’s kind of working. I agree.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.

[Frank Gannucci]

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