Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Man In The Blue Suit" & "Hair-Raising Tale":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Man In The Blue Suit" & "Hair-Raising Tale":

Episode #77 (Syndicated episode #60)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Vacation At Fred's Landing" ('53 version or '54 version.)
DVD: Attached to "A Weighty Problem", "Lunch Box" and "Lost Baby." On the Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to "The Prowler" & "Box Top Kid." On the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Lawsuit”, “The Next Champ”, “Fortune Teller”, “Move Uptown” & “Stand-In For Murder” (’54 version).
Air Date: Sat. 5/1/54

"Man In The Blue Suit";

Ralph, Ed and friends are playing poker. It's late. One of the people says that they could have stopped earlier. He wonders why. Ed: "Ralph was losing then." After Sullivan, one of Ralph's friends calls it quits, Ed gives out the cards. After Ed makes a dumb move with a dumb explanation, Ralph says: "I don't know why I let you in the game." Garrity from upstairs yells at Ralph to stop the racket. Ralph says no. Garrity's response, dousing Ralph with water when he sticks his head out the window. That's funny. Everyone calls it quits. One of Ralph's friends calls him lucky. Ralph says to Ed that that person is a sore loser. Ed: "I saw a sore loser like him once, about three weeks ago when you lost." Ralph finds out he won $73.85. He wants to hide the money from Alice, who is away at her mother's taking care of her. He puts it in his blue suit that he hasn't worn in five years. Ed leaves and Ralph goes to bed.

The next day, Alice is home. Trixie comes in. Alice asks Trixie how Ed did at playing cards last night. Trixie: "Well, if you go down to the Pawn Shop downstairs and you see four bowling balls instead of three, don't be surprised. The fourth one is Ed's." They have a Pawn Shop in their apartment building? Alice complains of all the cleaning she had to do while Ralph was here alone. A man from the Help The Needs Society comes in. He asks that if Alice has any old clothes that she doesn't use anymore. She gets Ralph's blue suit (not knowing that there's $73 in the pocket) and gives it to the guy. He leaves. Ed Norton comes in and says that he met a friend of Trixie that she knew from school. He remembers everything but her name. Trixie says that that person must be 28 years old. Ed says that that person is 35. Trixie sarcastically says that he is a big help. Ed: "All I know is when she sees you, she will be happy." Ralph comes home and claims it was pretty lonely here without Alice. Trixie: "Ed, why don't you talk to me like that?" Ed: "I will if you go away once and a while." The Nortons leave. Ralph says that he played poker last night and gives Alice what he claims is all his winnings, that being $5.00. Ralph wants to go out. The treat is on him. He goes to get his jacket with the money and when he doesn't see it, he freaks out. Alice tells him the news. Ralph is mad. He says that that suit is his lucky suit. A suit that he hasn't wore in five years and he calls it lucky. Yeah, that sounds right...NOT! Ed Norton comes down. Ralph: "You [Ed] are coming with me. She gave my blue suit to the Help The Needy Society." Gee, that was nice of Ralph...NOT! He didn't ask Ed if he can come with him. He ordered him to. They leave to go to the Help The Needy Society.

In front of the place, Ralph and Ed try to hatch a plan. Ed: "The people in there are going to give a suit to someone who can not dress as well as we do." Gee, he's saying that Ralph and he dress well? Ed holds out his hand. A person sees it and gives him a coin. Ralph wonders why that person did that. Ed: "It happens two or three times a month." Ralph: "I will tell you why. You look like a bum." Yeah, that was nice of Ralph. Ed hatches a plan. He will fix Ralph up like a bum. He rips up Ralph's $8 jacket. Ed: "$8 from $73 is...you got a lot left over." Yeah, he's smart all right.

In the center, Ralph tries to get his suit but is denied because he can't get clothes without a ticket. Then Ralph learns he can't get a ticket until he fills out some forms and is investigated by the society. He gives the clerk a nutty sob story. Ed gets all emotional when he hears it too. He is allowed to get a suit because of his sob story. He picks out the blue suit but he finds out the money is gone. He sees a person like him that has a blue suit on that he thinks is his. He picks a fight with him and Ralph and Ed are kicked out for being such troublemakers. Typical Ralph and Ed.

At home, Alice gives the real story. When Ralph and Ed left, the man from the Help The Needy Society came back with Ralph's poker winnings: $73.85. When Ralph gets home, Alice will teach him a lesson. Trixie leaves when Ralph comes in with what he claims is his lucky suit. Alice never knew that he was so superstitious. She also found out that she had some money that she didn't know she had: $73.85. Ralph claims that it is his. He rants and raves about the money being his. Ralph (yells): "THAT $73 IS MINE! ALL MINE! I MAY ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR IN IT." Can you imagine living next door to the Kramdens? Basically Ralph is ranting and raving in a crazy fashion. After all that, Alice gives Ralph the money. They hug and kiss.

Episode #78 (Syndicated episode #64)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Finger Man."
DVD: Attached to "What's Her Name", "Double Anniversary Party" & "Love Letter" ('56 version). On the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “What’s The Name”, “Box Top Kid”, “Two Men On A Horse”, “Good Buy Aunt Ethel” & “Vacation At Fred’s Landing” (’54 version).
Color Episode Title: "Hair To A Fortune."
Lost Episode Title: "Hair-Raising Tale."
Air Date: Sat. 5/8/54

"Hair-Raising Tale":

Two con men pull a scam on Ralph as he sits in the park eating his lunch. One poses as the inventor of a miracle hair restorer and the other as an unscrupulous businessman trying to buy the formula. The second man "gets rough" with the smaller one and Ralph intervenes and chases off the larger man. Ralph talks to "Prof. Steinhardt." about the hair-restoring formula that the professor claims that he has. He lets Ralph talk him into selling him exclusive rights to sell the formula in New York. Ralph leaves.

At home, Ralph tries to get the money for the scheme but Alice will not allow him to have it because of his bad track record of get-rich-quick schemes. They argue back and forth. Ed Norton comes down. Ralph figures he can get three hundred dollars against his life-insurance policy, and invites Norton to become his partner for a two-hundred-dollar investment. Ed says: "No. $200 is a lot of money to me." Ralph: "Well, I never thought that money would come ahead of our friendship." Gee, imagine if you say to your pal: "All I want is $200." Ralph talks about some of the "good things" he did for Ed. After that Ed complies. KramNor's Miracle Hair Restorer is born.

Six months later, on the first day, Ralph says that he is the senior partner and Ed is the junior partner. "Prof. Steinhardt" comes in and Ed says that his hair looks like a busted-open mattress. Ha! The "professor" gives the ingredients and says that they can mail him something. He leaves. Ed says that he didn't give him their address. Ralph goes to find him but all he sees on the street is a bald man. Do you think that that was the "professor"? Ralph and Ed match the ingredients in typical Ralph and Ed fashion. One of their mistakes is that Ralph calls the H20 bottle: "Ho." He says that you never pronounce the number in chemistry formulas. Ralph also accidentally pours Ed's beer into the bowl that they are using for hair formula, thinking that that was one of the bottles that they were supposed to use. When he hears what he did, he calls Ed a stupid stupe.

Mr. Mitchell, a half-bald man arrives informing Ralph of another bus assignment. Ralph tells him of the formula that he and Ed made. Mr. Mitchell says that he has tried a lot of hair-restoring formulas but none of them has ever worked. Ralph lets him try theirs. They put a towel over Mr. Mitchell's head (where they put all of their formula on but not before Ed asks him if he wants to try shoe polish that glows in the dark. A while later, Ed asks Ralph if he can try this formula on a cousin of his. Ralph: "Sure." Ed: "She will really appreciate it." The towel is taken off and not only did it not grow hair but kills most of what Mr. Mitchell had. Question: How could all the things that Ralph and Ed used to make up their formula kill hair? Mr. Mitchell: "Do I look younger?" Ed: "Yeah, about eight days old." Mr. Mitchell finds out what has happened to his hair and says he will sue both Ralph and Ed. Alice over hears this.

The next day, Ralph and Ed try to do the same thing to a guy on the park bench what the two shady people did to Ralph. Only problem is that Ed is the bully and Ralph is the victim. Not very believable. Not only that, but the person on the park bench doesn't intervene. Ed leaves. Ralph tries to sell KramNor's Miracle Hair Restorer to the guy (played by George Petrie). But the guy talks to him about his invention he is trying to market, an electric zipper. Ralph forgets all about unloading KramNor's and wonders how much money he can make selling zippers.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.

[Frank Gannucci]

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