Job Application - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Warm & Fuzzy · 07-12-2002, 11:13 PM

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

ISmellFine · 07-12-2002, 11:18 PM

.........LOL

JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo · 07-12-2002, 11:29 PM

lol, i'm in good mind to do that @ some McDonalds in town here!! lol,

InspectorExstead · 07-12-2002, 11:39 PM

lol.

Ewan's My Man · 07-12-2002, 11:39 PM

DarleneIllyria · 07-12-2002, 11:59 PM

TALLguyinKY · 07-13-2002, 01:16 AM

Is this really true? Did you see it on the news or somethin'? I mean, it's awesome, I'd just love some reassurance that it is indeed true!

07-12-2002, 11:13 PM	#1
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	Job Application This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries.
	__________________ "To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." ~Unknown

07-12-2002, 11:18 PM	#2
ISmellFine Zim Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 13, 2001 Posts: 4,886	.........LOL
	__________________ Milton: "...and it's not okay, because if they take my stapler...then I'll set the building on fire."

07-12-2002, 11:29 PM	#3
JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo A and J Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 31, 2001 Location: .S.C. Posts: 3,070	lol, i'm in good mind to do that @ some McDonalds in town here!! lol,
	__________________

07-12-2002, 11:39 PM	#4
InspectorExstead Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Oct 29, 2001 Location: The Golden State Posts: 12,902	lol.
	__________________ They killed my sister because she asked: "Where is my vote?" http://sosiran.com/ http://tapeshhd.com/index.php

07-12-2002, 11:39 PM	#5
Ewan's My Man I'll Cover You Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 29, 2001 Location: Beneath the opera house... Posts: 5,682
	__________________ Don't you ever wanna be somebody to envy Don't you wanna be footloose and free? Well, you could be the life of the party If you were more- Like me! All you have to do is jump over the moon Moo with me!

07-12-2002, 11:59 PM	#6
DarleneIllyria Gone Forum Star Join Date: Oct 15, 2000 Posts: 19,086

07-13-2002, 01:16 AM	#7
TALLguyinKY Member Senior Member Join Date: Mar 18, 2002 Posts: 1,439	Is this really true? Did you see it on the news or somethin'? I mean, it's awesome, I'd just love some reassurance that it is indeed true!