A Honeymooners Memorial Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are in the Kramden apartment.)

Ralph: "Norton, we are going to have a blast at that Raccoon Memorial Day Barbeque especially considering that I am in charge of the barbeque."

Ed: "What is your plan?"

Ralph: "Very simple. Since it may rain, we are going to do the barbeque INSIDE. Alice says that I may be in violation of gas emission laws. I said that I MAY be in violation. Doesn't mean that I am. I am being smart. After all, what happens if it rains?"

Ed: "I hate the rain. Especially when it rains, it floods where I work."

Ralph: "I will show Alice who is the smart one in this family. I am the one in the family with it up here."

(Ralph points to his head.)

Ed (looking at Ralph's stomach): "You got plenty of it down there too."

Ralph: "Oooooh, you are a riot Norton."

Ed: "Let's go to Super Target right now and buy all the food we need."

Ralph: "Good idea Norton. I have a funny feeling that we are going to hit the bullseye with Super Target. Haha."

(They do. On Memorial Day, they set up the barbeque inside the Raccoon Headquarters. They start cooking.)

Ed: "Ralph, I got a feeling that this is one barbeque that won't end in disaster."

Ralph: "You got that right Norton. This will be a fun day."

(The wives arrive.)

Trixie: "Ralph."

Alice: "Ralph, what you are doing is very dangerous."

Ralph: "No, I am not Alice. You see, I am the brains in this family. I am the BRAINS. You are not."

Alice: "Ralph, remember what I said. You are in violation of gas emission laws."

Ralph: "You said I MIGHT BE Alice. I know that I am not."

Ed: "Yeah, this gas tank is indestructible."

Ralph: "Yes, it is."

(Ralph accidentally kicks it. It falls over. A fake explosion is heard. The NYFD & the NYPD comes. When they find out what Ralph did, they arrest him. The Head Raccoon sees this.)

Head Raccoon: "Brother Kramden, give me one reason why I shouldn't remove you from the Raccoons."

Ed: "You will be losing a ton if you do. Ralph, this is another one of your plans that went up in smoke."

Ralph (yells): "YOU WANT TO GET IT NORTON? COME ON! PUT 'EM UP!"

(Everyone tries to separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "How sweet it is."

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "In case youa re wondering, we always use a fake gas tank in our stories. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)