A Honeymooners Income Tax Day: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 05-14-2021, 07:39 AM

(The girls are in the Kramden kitchen.)

Trixie: "Alice, why did our boys have to wait until it was the last minute to do their taxes again?"

Alice: "I have no idea. All I know is that Ralph claimed that he was too busy going to the Lodge, playing pool, bowling and watching TV."

Trixie: "Same with my Ed."

Ralph (from upstairs, yells): "NORTON, COME ON. WE HAVE TO FILE THIS BY MIDNIGHT."

Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I'M TRYING TO RALPH."

Alice: "Let's go upstairs and show them who is smarter."

Trixie: "After all, we filed our taxes months ago."

(They do. They go upstairs to see a bunch of crumpled up papers on the floor and Ralph looks like he is going to flip. Ed looks the same.)

Alice: "Well, if it isn't our two genius husbands. Ralph, why didn't you do this months ago?"

Ed: "We were all too busy. We sure envy you two wives who have nothing to do all day long except wash the windows, clean the floors etc."

Ralph: "Boys don't do that Alice."

Alice: "Apparantly our boys are so smart rather stress themselves out by waiting until it's the last minute to do their taxes. While us dumb wives did our taxes months ago."

Ralph: "Don't rub it in. We told you we were too busy. I drive a bus for a living. One of these days, one of these days...POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!"

Ed: "Hey Ralph, we are done. It is 11:30p. Let's all go down and run. We can't take the sewer because you wouldn't be able to fit in the manhole."

Ralph: "Oooooh, you are going to get it Norton. See ya you two."

(They leave.)

Ralph (falling down the stairs, yells): "DUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

(A crash is heard. Later on, Ralph & Ed come home. Ralph has a broken arm from being in a rush. Alice sees them.)

Alice: "Ralph, I see that you filed your taxes."

Ralph: "Yeah, we did it at 11:59pm."

Alice: "And because you waited, you were in a rush and you broke your arm. Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Ed: "This is another one of your plans that has gone to pot."

Ralph (to Ed, yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage with the cast off.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)

Jackie: "GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)

05-14-2021, 07:39 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	A Honeymooners Income Tax Day: (The girls are in the Kramden kitchen.) Trixie: "Alice, why did our boys have to wait until it was the last minute to do their taxes again?" Alice: "I have no idea. All I know is that Ralph claimed that he was too busy going to the Lodge, playing pool, bowling and watching TV." Trixie: "Same with my Ed." Ralph (from upstairs, yells): "NORTON, COME ON. WE HAVE TO FILE THIS BY MIDNIGHT." Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I'M TRYING TO RALPH." Alice: "Let's go upstairs and show them who is smarter." Trixie: "After all, we filed our taxes months ago." (They do. They go upstairs to see a bunch of crumpled up papers on the floor and Ralph looks like he is going to flip. Ed looks the same.) Alice: "Well, if it isn't our two genius husbands. Ralph, why didn't you do this months ago?" Ed: "We were all too busy. We sure envy you two wives who have nothing to do all day long except wash the windows, clean the floors etc." Ralph: "Boys don't do that Alice." Alice: "Apparantly our boys are so smart rather stress themselves out by waiting until it's the last minute to do their taxes. While us dumb wives did our taxes months ago." Ralph: "Don't rub it in. We told you we were too busy. I drive a bus for a living. One of these days, one of these days...POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!" Ed: "Hey Ralph, we are done. It is 11:30p. Let's all go down and run. We can't take the sewer because you wouldn't be able to fit in the manhole." Ralph: "Oooooh, you are going to get it Norton. See ya you two." (They leave.) Ralph (falling down the stairs, yells): "DUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (A crash is heard. Later on, Ralph & Ed come home. Ralph has a broken arm from being in a rush. Alice sees them.) Alice: "Ralph, I see that you filed your taxes." Ralph: "Yeah, we did it at 11:59pm." Alice: "And because you waited, you were in a rush and you broke your arm. Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" Ed: "This is another one of your plans that has gone to pot." Ralph (to Ed, yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!" (Ed leaves.) (Jackie walks on stage with the cast off.) Jackie: "Thank you. Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean." (Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.) Jackie: "Audrey Meadows." (Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.) Jackie: "Art Carney." (Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.) Jackie: "GOOD NIGHT!" (Crowd cheers.)