Lessons in Life... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Warm & Fuzzy · 07-10-2002, 10:12 PM

Anther e-mail, lol

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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman =3D romance
Smart man + dumb woman =3D affair
Dumb man + smart woman =3D marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman =3D pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Kay Scarpetta · 07-10-2002, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jo's the bomb
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Sorry I find it funnie.

Montana Ponine · 07-10-2002, 10:27 PM

LOLOL!!

Those are funny!!! I love your little emails that ya post, Jenny, haha.

Warm & Fuzzy · 07-10-2002, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever

Sorry I find it funnie.

LOL, that one's my favoirte.

Warm & Fuzzy · 07-10-2002, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Montana Ponine
LOLOL!! Those are funny!!! I love your little emails that ya post, Jenny, haha.

Thaaanks. I get so many chain letters and stuff like that in a day it ain't even funny, lol.

Ewan's My Man · 07-10-2002, 11:04 PM

InspectorExstead · 07-10-2002, 11:34 PM

funny stuff!

DarleneIllyria · 07-11-2002, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jo's the bomb
Anther e-mail, lol

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

LOL! That one is so cute!

LucyFan · 07-11-2002, 03:54 AM

ROFLMOA!

OMG! Those are extremely funny! LOL

07-10-2002, 10:12 PM	#1
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	Lessons in Life... Anther e-mail, lol ---------------------------------------------------- ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman =3D romance Smart man + dumb woman =3D affair Dumb man + smart woman =3D marriage Dumb man + dumb woman =3D pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

07-10-2002, 11:04 PM	#6
Ewan's My Man I'll Cover You Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 29, 2001 Location: Beneath the opera house... Posts: 5,682
	__________________ Don't you ever wanna be somebody to envy Don't you wanna be footloose and free? Well, you could be the life of the party If you were more- Like me! All you have to do is jump over the moon Moo with me!

07-10-2002, 11:34 PM	#7
InspectorExstead Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Oct 29, 2001 Location: The Golden State Posts: 12,902	funny stuff!
	__________________ They killed my sister because she asked: "Where is my vote?" http://sosiran.com/ http://tapeshhd.com/index.php

07-10-2002, 10:27 PM	#3
Montana Ponine Tragically Beautiful Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 18, 2001 Location: Sondheimville Posts: 4,529	LOLOL!! Those are funny!!! I love your little emails that ya post, Jenny, haha.

07-11-2002, 03:54 AM	#9
LucyFan Still Loving Lucy! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 23, 2001 Location: In the Wonderful World of Lucy! Posts: 8,198	ROFLMOA! OMG! Those are extremely funny! LOL