A Honeymooners St. Patty's Day: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 03-14-2021, 08:44 AM

(Ralph & Ed are bringing in a bathtub along with assorted liquids.)

Ralph: “Norton, the Raccoon lodge is going to love the fact that we are making the beer for the Raccoon St. Patty’s Day Party.”

Ed: “What did Alice yell to you when she heard the news?”

Ralph: “The usual. She says that me and you are not capable of making our own beer. ‘You will cause explosions Ralph.’ Pffft. What does she know?”

Ed: “Good thing that Mr. Johnson the landlord doesn’t know about this.”

Ralph: “Headaches and him go together.”

Ed: “Like you and food?”

Ralph: “Ooooooh, you are going to get it Norton. Now look. I am the brains behind this. You are the brawn. Now, we got all these stills that are going to make the beer and I GUARANTEE they won’t explode.”

(Alice comes down.)

Alice: “Boys, have you cone to your senses yet?”

Ralph: “No, we haven’t Alice. Now look Alice. We are the BOSSES of our households. You and Trixie are nothing.”

Alice: “Big deal. You are the bosses over nothing.”

Ralph: “Ooooooh....BANG! ZOOM!”

Ed: “You will be sorry Alice when this BIG Irishman and me serve the greatest beer ever made. St. Patrick will be proud.”

Alice: “Oh boy!”

(Alice leaves as the men make the beer.)

(Later in, she talks to Trixie in the Kramden kitchen.)

Trixie: “Alice, what do you think is the outcome of our two boys making the beer?”

Alice: “Hopefully good. I will open the window to get some air.”

(She does.)

Ed (from basement, yells): “RALPH, THAT MIGHT EXPLODE.”

Ralph (yells): “NORTON, I TOLD YOU WHEN WE BOUGHT THE OTHER STILLS AND TUBS, I CAN GUARANTEE THERE WILL BE NO EXPLOSIONS.”

(Explosions are heard. The girls come down to the basement to see Ralph & Ed alive but there clothes are in tatters. Damage is seen. Mr. Johnson comes down and is UPSET when he sees the damages.)

Mr. Johnson (yells): “WHAT HAPPENED?”

Ed: “Ralph was the one that mixed the liquids incorrectly after I told him that was.”

Ralph (yells): “NORTON!”

Mr. Johnson (yells): “THE KRAMDENS ARE OUT OF THIS BUILDING NOW.”

(He leaves.)

Ed: “Ralph, I see another one of your plans literally blew up.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami St. Patty’s Days are the BEST! HAPPY ST. PATTY’S DAY! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)

03-14-2021, 08:44 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,090	A Honeymooners St. Patty's Day: (Ralph & Ed are bringing in a bathtub along with assorted liquids.) Ralph: “Norton, the Raccoon lodge is going to love the fact that we are making the beer for the Raccoon St. Patty’s Day Party.” Ed: “What did Alice yell to you when she heard the news?” Ralph: “The usual. She says that me and you are not capable of making our own beer. ‘You will cause explosions Ralph.’ Pffft. What does she know?” Ed: “Good thing that Mr. Johnson the landlord doesn’t know about this.” Ralph: “Headaches and him go together.” Ed: “Like you and food?” Ralph: “Ooooooh, you are going to get it Norton. Now look. I am the brains behind this. You are the brawn. Now, we got all these stills that are going to make the beer and I GUARANTEE they won’t explode.” (Alice comes down.) Alice: “Boys, have you cone to your senses yet?” Ralph: “No, we haven’t Alice. Now look Alice. We are the BOSSES of our households. You and Trixie are nothing.” Alice: “Big deal. You are the bosses over nothing.” Ralph: “Ooooooh....BANG! ZOOM!” Ed: “You will be sorry Alice when this BIG Irishman and me serve the greatest beer ever made. St. Patrick will be proud.” Alice: “Oh boy!” (Alice leaves as the men make the beer.) (Later in, she talks to Trixie in the Kramden kitchen.) Trixie: “Alice, what do you think is the outcome of our two boys making the beer?” Alice: “Hopefully good. I will open the window to get some air.” (She does.) Ed (from basement, yells): “RALPH, THAT MIGHT EXPLODE.” Ralph (yells): “NORTON, I TOLD YOU WHEN WE BOUGHT THE OTHER STILLS AND TUBS, I CAN GUARANTEE THERE WILL BE NO EXPLOSIONS.” (Explosions are heard. The girls come down to the basement to see Ralph & Ed alive but there clothes are in tatters. Damage is seen. Mr. Johnson comes down and is UPSET when he sees the damages.) Mr. Johnson (yells): “WHAT HAPPENED?” Ed: “Ralph was the one that mixed the liquids incorrectly after I told him that was.” Ralph (yells): “NORTON!” Mr. Johnson (yells): “THE KRAMDENS ARE OUT OF THIS BUILDING NOW.” (He leaves.) Ed: “Ralph, I see another one of your plans literally blew up.” Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEET OUT!” (Ed leaves.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami St. Patty’s Days are the BEST! HAPPY ST. PATTY’S DAY! GOOD NIGHT!” (Crowd cheers.)