Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Bread" & "Razor Blades":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Bread" & "Razor Blades":

Note: In 2014, it was revealed that Jackie Gleason did a trial run of the Honeymooners when he hosted the Sunday September 2, 1951 episode of the Colgate Comedy Hour when he did a sketch about him greeting his wife after coming home from work. It was revealed that the wife’s character was Nora and not Alice. I don’t think this hasn’t been seen since its original airdate (though it MAY have aired on JLTV.) It’s not on home video but It is available to watch at the Paley Center For The Media In New York City.

Episode #1
TV: This episode was seen The Honeymooners Really Lost Debut Episodes. This special was shown in 1993 on Disney Channel (yes, THAT Disney Channel) & March of 2000 on TV Land. This episode was attached to the first six Really Lost Debut Episodes. In 2019, Decades channel (now called Catchy Comedy) started showing this episode. It is attached to "Ralph Threatens To Leave" & "Ring Salesman" ('51 version)
VHS: This episode was attached to the first six Really Lost Debut Episodes which are "Bread", "New TV Set", "Ralph Threatens To Leave", "Ring Salesman" ('51 version) & "Quiz Show" ('51 version) DVD: Attached to “”Razor Blades”, “New TV Set”, “Ralph Threatens To Leave”, “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”), “The Ring Salesman” (’51 version), “Quiz Show” (’51 version), “Xmas Party” (’51 version), “New Bowling Ball”, “The Turkey”, “Lost Baby”, “Quiz Show” (’52 version), “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “Jellybeans” & “Six Months To Live” (’51 version).
Air Date: Sat. 10/05/51

Note: In 2024, this episode was colorized (aka tinted) and put on YouTube. Here’s the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaRYzJtta-A

"Bread":

To do this review, I am going to post the script that halycon wrote. Special thank you goes out to him.

THE HONEYMOONERS
"Bread"
Original Air Date: 10-05-51
Starring
Jackie Gleason
Pert Kelton
Art Carney
Transcribed by: Chuck DiRaimondi 2
INT. KRAMDEN’S APT. – KITCHEN - EVENING
Alice stands in front of the stove, making dinner and singing. Ralph enters through the front door shortly thereafter, smoking a cigarette.
RALPH
Hey.
ALICE
Go down to Krauss’s and get some bread.
RALPH
What do you mean go down to Krauss’s and get some bread?
ALICE
Go down to Krauss’s and get some bread. That’s what I mean.
Ralph walks over to Alice.
RALPH
Oh I know what you mean. But what do you mean go down to Krauss’s and get some bread. What’s the matter with you!
ALICE
I happen to be fryin’ the dinner.
RALPH
There’s a big deal. There’s a big deal. You’re fryin’ the dinner. What did you do all day? Stand there fryin’ the dinner?
ALICE
Now don’t start up with me Ralph. I’m not in the mood for it. Just don’t start up with me Ralph. I’m not in the mood for it! 3
RALPH
That’s fine. That’s fine. It’s ok with me. I won’t start up with you. Don’t you ask me to go down to Krauss’s for any bread.
Ralph washes his hands in the kitchen sink. He begins drying his hands, pacing back and forth.
RALPH
I just hope you’re not going tell me that we ain’t got no bread for dinner, that’s all.
ALICE
I wouldn’t have asked ya to go down to Krauss’s if we had any bread.
RALPH
You mean to tell me I’m gonna have dinner without any bread!
ALICE
If you gotta have bread there’s a couple of heels in the bread box.
RALPH
There’s a big deal. A couple of heels in the bread box. What were you doing all day? Why didn’t you go down to Krauss’s?
ALICE
I had a lot to do.
RALPH
You had a lot to do.
Ralph points to the ceiling.
RALPH
Where were you? Up again there. Up there! 4
ALICE
Stop yelling. You want everybody to hear ya?
RALPH
Yea I want everybody to hear me!
Ralph walks over to the window, leans his head out of the window and looks up.
RALPH
Where were you? Up at the Tistoni’s watching television!
Ralph walks back over to Alice.
RALPH
You wanna hear some yellin’. I’ll show you some yellin’.
ALICE
You don’t have to show me no yellin’. I know how to yell. You wanna hear me yell? I’ll yell! I’ll yeeelll!
Someone from upstairs yells. "Shut up! Shut up down there!". Ralph walks back over to the windows, leans out and looks up.
RALPH
I’ll shut up if I come up there!
People from down below start yelling at Ralph. Ralph looks down.
RALPH
Keep your two cents out of it!
Ralph walks back over to Alice
RALPH
Well, you satisfied with what you started? 5
ALICE
What I started? It had never happened if you went down to Krauss’s to get the bread.
RALPH
I’m not going down to Krauss’s tonight for the bread. I’m not going down to Krauss’s last night for the bread. And I’m not going down to Krauss’s the night before for the bread!
ALICE
Who do you think you’re hurtin’? Me? I don’t eat bread. I’ll tell you how much I eat bread.
Alice reaches over to grab the heels from the bread box and starts throwing them out the window.
ALICE
Here’s the heels. And there they go.
RALPH
How you’ve frightened me. How you’ve frightened me! You threw the heels out the bread. Watch this.
Ralph goes over and grabs the breadbox and walks back to the window.
RALPH
Is this the box that holds the bread?!
Ralph throws the bread box out the window.
RALPH
There! Out the window!
ALICE
That what ya like. Throwin’ out the window. 6
RALPH
Yea. Uh uh.
ALICE
Two can play the game as well as one and I play it pretty good.
Alice walks over to the stove and grabs the pots and pans.
RALPH
Yea.
Alice throws the pots and pans outside the window.
RALPH
You’ll never stop me Alice. You’ll never stop me.
Ralph walks over to the kitchen table and grabs one of the seats and his jacket. He throws both the jacket and chair out the window.
RALPH
So there it goes.
ALICE
Good. Good.
RALPH
Yea
ALICE
You can’t sit down. You can’t eat.
Alice walks back to the stove, grabs another pan and throws it out the window.
RALPH
Now I’m gonna show you how much I like bread. I’m gonna show you how much I like bread.
Ralph walks over to the sink and grabs the flour container. 7
RALPH
Here, is this the flower that you make bread with? Do you make bread from flower?
Ralph throws the flower container out the window.
RALPH
There it goes! That’s what I think of the bread.
ALICE
You wanna see something go out the window? You wanna see something go out the window?
RALPH
Yea! Yea!
ALICE
Then I’ll show you something go out the window.
RALPH
Alright.
Alice walks over to the window and begins climbing outside.
RALPH
Go! Go!
ALICE
I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.
Someone begins knocking on the front door.
RALPH
I just hope that this is somebody ‘cause I’m ready.
Ralph opens the door. A police officer enters. Covered in flour.
POLICE OFFICER
Did ah, did somebody ah throw a can of flour out the window a little while ago? 8
RALPH
Well ah, we had it on the ah.
ALICE
It was my fault officer. You see I had it sittin’ on the window sill and it just fell out.
POLICE OFFICER
Well next time ah try to be a little more careful will ya? Don’t let it happen again. Geesh!
The police officer walks out the front door. Alice walks over to a chair and sits down. Ralph walks over to her.
RALPH
I’m sorry Alice.
ALICE
It’s alright Ralph.
RALPH
You know all day with everybody getting on the bus and yellin’ and screamin’, I get a little upset. I don’t mean to yell at ya. Wanna go down the corner for a pizza pie?
ALICE
I wouldn’t mind.
Ralph grabs Alice by the hand and she stands up
RALPH
Come here baby.
Ralph and Alice kiss.

Episode #2
TV: This episode was seen The Honeymooners Really Lost Debut Episodes. This special was shown in 1993 on Disney Channel (yes, THAT Disney Channel) & March of 2000 on TV Land. In 2019, Decades channel (now known as Catchy Comedy) began showing this episode and it is attached to "New TV Set" & “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”.)
VHS: This episode was attached to the first six Really Lost Debut Episodes which are "Bread", "New TV Set", "Ralph Threatens To Leave", "Ring Salesman" ('51 version) & "Quiz Show" ('51 version)
DVD: Attached to “Bread”, “New TV Set”, “Ralph Threatens To Leave”, “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”), “The Ring Salesman” (’52 version), “Quiz Show” (’51 version), “Xmas Party” (’51 version), “New Bowling Ball”, “The Turkey”, “Lost Baby”, “Quiz Show” (’52 version), “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “Jellybeans” & “Six Months To Live” (’51 version).
Air Date: Sat. 10/12/51

"Razor Blades":

This Honeymooners episode is the shortest ever. It is only 5:02.

Alice is cooking. Ralph comes out with shaving cream on and asks where his razor blades are. Last night, he bought a pack of blades and put them on the table. Ralph: “We live on the third floor. Nobody can climb up and get them. Nobody got lowered. This door has been locked all night. A mouse couldn’t have taken them.” Ralph accuses Alice of taking the blades. Alice denies it. Ralph: “Don’t steam me up because I am already steamed.” Alice (sarcastically): “You got me scared to death.” Ralph accuses Alice of stealing things like his gray pants. Ralph: “One of these days…” Alice: “What one of these days? What? What? What?” Alice: “You will find out when the day comes.” Alice says that you put things in the drawer. That is where they belong.

Ralph opens the drawer. Ralph says that Alice has three drawers. Ralph has trouble opening it. He eventually does. One a few things are in that drawer but not his razor blades. Ralph is still angry. Alice: “Don’t start. Don’t start.” Ralph (sarcastically): “You frighten me.” Alice: “All right. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Alice then threatens to throw herself out the window. Ralph encourages her to throw herself out. Alice: “I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.”

People from downstairs are knocking their ceiling to tell the Kramdens to be quiet. Ralph responds by pounding the floor with a chair. Man (from upstairs, yells): “KEEP QUIET DOWN THERE! KEEP QUIET!” Ralph is going to take one of Alice’s drawers even though there is clothing in it. Ralph tears her clothing that is in it. Wow! He even starts to tear a dress. Alice says no. She is supposedly crying. Ralph calls her clothing that was in that dresser junk. That is her wedding dress. Ralph feels bad. He didn’t mean to tear that dress. Alice knows it. He apologizes. Alice forgives him. They hug and kiss even though Ralph still has cream on his face.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.

[Frank Gannucci]

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[Frank Gannucci]

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