A Honeymooners New Year's Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

All (yell): "HAPPY NEW YEAR. HAPPY 2021."

(They all blow in thier noise makers. The husbands and wives kiss and hug.)

Ralph (yells): "HOW ABOUT ANOTHER ROUND OF BEER?"

Alice (yells): "RALPH!"

Ralph: "Alice. Relax. I will control my liquor."

(They all drink more beer.)

Trixie: "Ed, get that bag of water off the window still. I don't want you guys to go crazy."

Ralph: "Tut. tut. tut. Trixie. I will do it."

Alice: "Ralph, don't drop it out the window."

Ralph: "Relax. I won't."

(Ralph goes to the window still.)

Ralph: "Nothing will happen Alice. You see I am going to open the window."

(Ralph does.)

Ralph: "And I won't drop it out of the window."

(Ralph accidentally knocks it off the window still.)

McGarrity (from downstairs, yells): "WHO DID THIS? IT CAME FROM THE NORTON'S APARTMENT. I WILL CONFRONT THEM."

Ralph: "Huminahumina."

Alice: "Ralph, you are a klutz. McGarrity could catch a cold."

(McGarrity knocks on the door. Ed answers it. McGarrity is all wet.)

McGarrity: "Did you do this Ed or did the big fat troublemaker do it?"

Ed: "The big fat troublemaker did."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON!"

McGarrity (calmly): "Come on Ralph. I won't hurt you. Come out in the hallway."

(Ralph does. Later on, Ed is helping Ralph into his home. He has a black eye.)

Ed: "Well Ralph, I see that another New Year's Day is a knockout for you."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, GET OUT! GET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage.)

Jackie: "Thank you. How sweet it is."

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Time to introduce the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean Kean comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Audrey comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Let's all sing. Are you ready Sammy Spear?"

All (sing): "Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!"

Jackie: "Happy New Year. The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)