A Honeymooners Thanksgiving:

[Frank Gannucci]

(The Kramdens and Nortons are having Turkey dinner in the Kramdens.)

Ralph: "By the way Alice, is there anyone else coming for Thanksgiving dinner?"

Alice: "Oh yeah Ralph. I forgot to tell you. My parents, my sister Agnes and my Aunt Ethel are coming."

Ralph: "Oooooh."

(Ralph goes into the bedroom and comes out.)

Ralph (yells): "WHAT?"

Alice: "Ralph, you will be nice to them."

Ed: "Yeah Ralph, be nice like I am to my in-laws."

Trixie: "Nice? You always ignore my parents Ed."

Ralph: "Ooooh, if there is any people that will get by blood pressure to rise, it's your folks Alice. It will be your fault if I faint due to high blood pressure."

Ed: "Yes and if he faints, this whole floor will cave in."

Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU SHUT UP NORTON?"

Alice: "They are coming now. Good thing that we are having dinner on the roof."

Ed: "Not neccessarily. If Ralph faints, we could all die due to falling."

Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU SHUT UP NORTON?"

(Alice's family arrives.)

Alice's Mom: "Here is the guy who will probably eat Tom Turkey all by himself."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "OOOOOOH, YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT NORTON."

(They all go up on the roof and set up the tables. Ed accidentally drops the table on Ralph's foot.)

Ralph (yells): "OWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Ed: "Did I hurt you Ralph?"

Ralph: "Of course not. How could you hurt my foot by having a table fall on it...YOU DID HURT ME."

Alice's Mom: "Figures. You got big feet to match your fat physique."

Ralph: "Bang zoom."

(They set up the table.)

Ralph: "Folks, just before we get the turkey, I think considerating what we have been through this awful year, we should be thankful that we have each other as friends and family. I know that we will get through this and we will. We will come out stronger. We should all be thankful for that as well as thankful that a lot of department stores have shut their doors all day this Thanksgiving."

All (yell): "HERE HERE!"

Ralph: "I will get the turkey."

Ed: "I will help you Ralph."

(Ed accidentally causes Ralph to drop the turkey all the way down to the concrete when he slaps Ralph on the back.)

Ed: "In the words of Homer Simpson: 'It's a little broken and dirty. It's still good. It's still good.'"

Ralph (yells): "NORTON! GET READY!"

(Ralph looks to pound Norton.)

Ed (yells): "RALPH, REMEMBER WHAT YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR."

(Everyone tries to separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving considerating what we have been through this year. Let's introduce the main cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Crowd cheers as Jean comes on stage and greets Jackie.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Crowd cheers as Audrey comes on stage and greets Jackie.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Crowd cheers as Art comes on stage and greets Jackie.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach Thanksgivings are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)