The Angry Family: Who Do You Blame?

[Cobain]

This was probably one of the most famous episodes from the series. They never really revealed who was the cause for the family being so angry all the time. Robert accused Rey, Marie subtly looked at Debra, and Frank blamed Marie.

Who do you blame for causing all of the tension in the family? Right off the bat we can absolve Robert and Frank. It comes down to three people: Ray, Debra and Marie. Let's look at the case against each individual:

Ray

He wants to be liked by everyone, which is why he usually doesn't try to settle any disputes between his wife and mother. But by doing that he makes the problems worse. He's probably the most uninvolved father ever in a sitcom. He even admitted in one episode that he gets bored with his kids. Ray is essentially another kid that Debra needs to take care. One has to wonder if Rey would be as lazy if his mother didn't live across the street.

Debra

She's a moody person, no doubt. But most of us would be moody if you had to deal with in-laws on a daily basis, and one that is intrusive. She has to deal with a mother-in-law who constantly criticizes her and a lazy husband.

Marie

Overbearing, childish, judgmental, meddlesome, a first class budinski! She constantly criticizes her daughter-in-law and favors one son over the other — that essentially affected the marriage between Ray and Debra and the relationship between the two brothers. Ray and Robert would have a much better relationship if Marie didn't play favorites.

You would think the person that I blame for the family tension is Marie, but it's actually Ray. His inability to involve himself in issues actually makes the problems worse.

[Charley Knox]

Probably Ray. Still trying to figure out of why anyon still loves him after watching the show?:-()

[SledgeBarone]

If you're going to scapegoat Ray for not helping, you can't hold Robert and Frank blameless, either. But I would still blame Marie, since most of the antagonism begins with her. Ray could do a better job of reducing tensions, but it can be hard to be the arbiter, since the anger being expressed by/to other people can easily be redirected to them. That happened to Robert in The Bigger Person and Raymond in The Ingrate.

[JO Sweet Heart]

To me, everyone in that family not including the kids is at fault for not doing enough, not saying enough, and not appreciating each other enough and when I say that, I am referring to Debra. She always complained that Ray never defended her enough, but whenever he finally did come forward, she would get onto him about it. He went to her boss after she was fired from the advertising agency and she got mad at him. When Frank's lodge buddies sexual harassed her, she told both Ray and Frank that she didn't need their help that she could take care of herself. Right then most definitely is when something should've been said to her about her hypocritical attitude.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

P.S. Now that I have thought about it more, most of the blame should've been on Frank and Marie for not divorcing. If they made each other so miserable, what was the point in their staying together? What good example do they think that they were setting for Ray and Robert?