A Honeymooners Income Tax Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are on the pier overlooking the ocean at Coney Island.)

Ralph: "Good thing this time Norton. We got our taxes done. They are right in this package."

Ed: "The girls were really proud that we got them done in advance. After we leave the pier, we will have six horus to drop this off."

Ralph: "Take a look Norton. What a beautiful day to be here on the beach. Too bad that we are not in Miami Beach though."

(Crowd cheers.)

(Ed picks up the box and puts it on the railing.)

Ed: "Look at the current. It is pulling the water very hard."

Ralph: "Yeah, the water temperature is very hot."

Ed: "Yes, it is time to celebrate. We are sending our taxes in on time."

(Ed slaps Ralph which causes Ralph to accidentally knock the package into the water. Ralph is steamed.)

Ralph (yells): "YOU STUPID STUPE. YOU KNOCKED THE BOX INTO THE WATER.

Ed (yells): "SORRY RALPH. ONE OF US HAS TO GO DOWN AND GET IT."

Ralph (yells): "IT HAS TO BE YOU. YOU SWIM IN THIS WATER EVERY DAY."

Ed (yells): "WHY CAN'T YOU DO IT? I AM SCARED OF SWIMMING IN THAT DEEP WATER. YOU SHOULD DO IT BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ARE A BEACHED WHALE."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, YOU GO DOWN THERE AND GET IT."

(Later on, Ralph & Ed are swimming and snorkling with lights on the snorkles. They are fully clothed to get the box of taxes. It is getting late like around 11p.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, I AM COLD AND WET. WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY TO ALICE? I TOLD HER THAT WE ARE LATE HAVING OUR DINNER."

Ed (yells): "JUST SAY YOU FELL INTO A HUGE MANHOLE AND FELL INTO THE WATER."

Ralph (yells): "OOOOOH, YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT NORTON."

(Ralph sees a box.)

Ralph: "Norton, I see our box. I'll get it."

(He does.)

Ralph (yells): "THIS IS OUR BOX NORTON. THIS IS OUR TAXES."

Ed (yells): "GREAT RALPH. THIS IS ALMOST AS GREAT AS US DISCOVERING HONEYMOONERS LOST EPISODES THAT WERE MADE IN THE 1950S THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY STILL IN THE EAST RIVER. LET'S GO TO THE INCOME TAX OFFICE. WE HAVE TO RUN. YOU BETTER MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GET A HEART ATTACK."

Ralph (yells): "OOOOOH, YOU ARE A RIOT NORTON."

(They run to the Income Tax office and they are completely soaked. They are making water spots everywhere. Finally, they arrive at the tax office counter at 11:57p.)

Woman: "Why are you two so soaking wet? Why is the box soaking wet?"

Ed: "Well, you see we went to Coney Island with our taxes and we accidentally kocked this box of taxes into the water. After we searched into the water for several hours with people thinking my pal here is a big whale, we found our taxes. Than, we ran here by using the sewer. You see I work in the sewer. We had to search for a HUGE manhole..."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

(The woman opens up the box. It is 11:59p.)

Woman: "THese taxes are still readable. You got them in."

Ralph: "Oooooh, how sweet it is."

Ed: "Ralph, next time, you better lose some weight."

(Ralph tries to fight Ed. People separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Hey, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)