A Honeymooners Easter:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph reads the paper about the Easter egg roll in Washington. He goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON! NORTON! COME ON DOWN!"

(Ralph closes the window. Ed comes on down.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph?"

Ralph: "Norton, we are going to be rich. There is an Easter egg roll going on at Washington D.C. on Easter morning. We are going to enter it and win the $1,000 cash prize."

Ed: "Great news there. Great news pal o' mine. What are we going to tell the girls?"

Ralph: "We will sneak out. Alice is going to think that this is a harebrained scheme just for me to avoid being with her mother. When I come home with my share of the cahs prize, they will flip thier lids. But, I won't give a CENT to her mother."

Ed: "Great idea Ralph. If we really want to sneak out, let's go through the sewer."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "Norton, YOU are a mental case. Go through the sewer? Are you nuts? We will take the subway train. We will exit out of here at 4am just to get away from our wives."

Ed: "Inside that head of yours Ralph, is a THINKING machine."

Ralph: "That money is good as ours now."

Ed: "We will be rolling in dough. We will use that money for great things. I will use it to buy Spongebob Squarepants toys and you will use it to buy a million pizzas."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(On Easter morning, they arrive at the lawn of the White House for the Easter egg roll.)

Ed: "I want to see the look on the girls faces when they realized that we left."

Ralph: "They will be mighty mad. We ought to tell them that how we missed them while we were gone."

Ed: "Give them that sweet talk."

Ralph: "Here we are ready to sign up."

(They go to sign up.)

Man: "You two are here to sign up for the egg roll. Where are your kids?"

Ralph: "We don't have any."

Man: "Then why are you two signing up? Only kids can participate."

Ralph: "Haminahaminahamina."

News Anchor: "We just heard that these two tried to enter the Easter egg roll without any kids. We will mention this later on along other news stories later on today."

Ed: "Ralph, if we can come back later on, we be disguised. I will be disguised as your father and you will wear a diaper and be disguised as a baby."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, GET AWAY FROM ME!"

(Ed runs away from Ralph.)

(Ralph comes home. He sees Alice and Alice's parents.)

Alice's Mom: "Hello Ralph. I heard you coming in the hall. I can feel the floor sag."

Alice: "Ralph, waht do you have to say for yourself?"

Ralph: "Oh boy."

(Uncle Leo comes by.)

News Anchor: "We haev news that two people named Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton of Brooklyn, NY tried to enter the Easter egg roll by themselves."

Uncle Leo: "Hi everyone. Ralph..." (slapping Ralph on the back): "...it's GOOD to see ya. Am I too late for the eats?"

Alice's Mom: "You might be but not too late to see my big, fat son-in-law be embarrassed."

Ralph (to Alice's Mom, yells): "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU ARE A BLABBERMOUTH! A BLAB-ER-MOUTH! YOU! BLABBERMOUTH! A BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABERMOUTH."

(They fight. Everyone tries to separate them.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Corwd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)