The Top 10 best answering machine messages - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Warm & Fuzzy · 06-24-2002, 09:15 PM

10 . My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub,and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a"sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering MachineMessages.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

Kay Scarpetta · 06-24-2002, 09:17 PM

'Specially @ number 1

Warm & Fuzzy · 06-24-2002, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever
:rotflmap: 'Specially @ number 1

LOL, dirty dirty mind.

Mr. Shy Guy · 06-24-2002, 09:21 PM

Number 6 is my favorite.

KerriBerri687 · 06-24-2002, 09:22 PM

ahhhhhhhhh

FOLrocks1 · 06-24-2002, 09:24 PM

LOL! I like #7 a lot!

Kay Scarpetta · 06-24-2002, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jo's the bomb
LOL, dirty dirty mind.

Thank you

ks · 06-24-2002, 09:35 PM

I like number 6! Whenever I get an answer machine I think I'll borrow that one

ks

Warm & Fuzzy · 06-24-2002, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever

Thank you

LOL, I think I can accept a "thank you" for that.

BTW, I saw Lilo and Stitch today, the world's cutest thing! omg!

Kay Scarpetta · 06-24-2002, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ks
I like number 6! Whenever I get an answer machine I think I'll borrow that one

Just be sure to change "female" to "male"

Anyways I think I'll put #5 on my cell voicemail!

Kay Scarpetta · 06-24-2002, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jo's the bomb
BTW, I saw Lilo and Stitch today, the world's cutest thing! omg!

Yes I know!!! I'm going to see it again tomorrow..

Warm & Fuzzy · 06-24-2002, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ks
I like number 6! Whenever I get an answer machine I think I'll borrow that one

ks

LOL, just remember to change "female" to "male," unless......

Warm & Fuzzy · 06-24-2002, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever

Just be sure to change "female" to "male"

ESP! lol.

ks · 06-24-2002, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jo's the bomb
LOL, just remember to change "female" to "male," unless......

How did you find out? Who told you? Who let my secret out?! Dang...now you all know why I hide in a hole...

..... taking nothing above seriously...-ahem-...

ks

-*Forever*- · 06-24-2002, 09:50 PM

My mom's letting me put one on our answering machine

06-24-2002, 09:15 PM	#1
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	The Top 10 best answering machine messages 10 . My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub,and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. 8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call. 7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money. 5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message. 4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a"sexy" message, I'll call sooner. 3. Hi. Now YOU say something. 2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering MachineMessages. 1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

06-24-2002, 09:17 PM	#2
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	'Specially @ number 1
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway. Last edited by Kay Scarpetta; 06-24-2002 at 09:18 PM.

06-24-2002, 09:21 PM	#4
Mr. Shy Guy Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Oct 30, 2001 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 7,871	Number 6 is my favorite.
	__________________ Det. Butler: Are you on any type of medication Mr. Bean? Mr. Bean: Not that I'm aware of... Det. Butler: Well...you could certainly use some...

06-24-2002, 09:24 PM	#6
FOLrocks1 My favorite ladies! Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 09, 2001 Location: Ohio Posts: 4,103	LOL! I like #7 a lot!
	__________________ THE GOLDEN GIRLS! Sophia: (to Blanche) Fasten your seatbelt, slut puppie. This ain't gunna be no cakewalk. Blanche: I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men. Dorothy: You really haven't grasped the concept of this gay thing yet, have you? Blanche: There must be homosexuals who date women. Sophia: Yeah, they're called lesbians. JACOB

06-24-2002, 09:35 PM	#8
ks Certifiably Insane Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 21, 2000 Location: I live in my hole... Posts: 5,501	I like number 6! Whenever I get an answer machine I think I'll borrow that one ks
	__________________ "Ya gotta have a little faith." C.D. DeLerenzo

06-24-2002, 09:22 PM	#5
KerriBerri687 defying gravity Senior Member Join Date: Jan 13, 2001 Location: you'll find me in Emerald City...I'm the green one with the flying monkeys Posts: 2,869	ahhhhhhhhh
	__________________ *.:[K][E][R][R][ I]:.* So if you care to find me, look to the western sky. As someone told me lately; 'Everyone deserves the chance to fly', and if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free. To all those who'd ground me, take a message back from me: Tell them how I'm defying gravity. I'm flying high, defying gravity *insanity is like heaven*

06-24-2002, 09:50 PM	#15
-Forever- <3333333333333333333 Forum Superstar Join Date: Nov 22, 2001 Location: Manlius, NY in reality. Deerfield Beach, FL in my heart. Posts: 28,001	My mom's letting me put one on our answering machine
	__________________ "Mmm... no... Jeter does not do it for me. He looks like the Rock had sex with a muppet."